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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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darksoulx Offline
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Name: Carrie
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Unhappy Anxiety is ruining my life - December 22nd 2014, 04:47 PM

I'm 13 and I believe I have Anxiety. I haven't seen a therapist but due to the signs of anxiety that I read online, I do have anxiety.

I'm always nervous and worried. I hate social events. I don't talk or like talking to people. I don't answer the phone even if it was a close friend of mine who's calling. I don't look people in the eye for 1 second, I always wear a snapback in public to avoid eye contacts. I think that secretly everybody hates me and finds me stupid and pathetic. My blood pressure is always high due to how nervous I always am. I'm scared of closed places, crowded places and crowds. I hate crowded places and I just feel like screaming when the place I'm in isn't quiet. I have troubles sleeping. I can stay awake for more than 48 hours. I don't like being touched at all, I hate hugging and/or kissing, I flinch when somebody touches my shoulder or hand, I must keep fine distance between me and everyone around, or otherwise I'd feel really uncomfortable. I do things repeatedly to make sure I've done it in the first place *I have an OCD*.

Is there a way I can get rid of all of that?


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Re: Anxiety is ruining my life - December 22nd 2014, 08:19 PM

Hey Carrie,

Sorry to hear that you are suffering from symptoms of anxiety. Whilst reading about anxiety online is good, itís always best to see a therapist who may be able to diagnose you and offer specific help.

Social events can be hard to deal with when you are anxious. It may help to do deep breathing exercises before you enter social events, as this can help relax you. You may worry about people looking at you, or judging you, or things going wrong. Understand that these are only thoughts, and are most unlikely untrue. Once youíve relaxed a bit and ignored any anxiety-related thoughts, you can start small and talk to some people. Try to stay in the situation even if you feel anxious. Over time feelings of anxiety will decrease.

I too struggle with answering the phone. But practice makes perfect! Perhaps you can call someone you trust, or if you have any queries, phone an enquiry line, just to get used to talking on the phone. I feel that if I talk on the phone, the other person will make negative judgements about me. But we donít know what they are thinking, and they shouldnít treat us any differently even if they were judging us.

Eye-contact can be difficult too. How is your self-esteem? When we have low self-esteem, we think negatively of ourselves and this can make us avoid eye contact, and increases our anxiety levels. Perhaps you can increase your self-esteem by reminding yourself of your positive qualities. Try to make a conscious effort to make eye contact, even if itís just for a short time. Focus on the conversation and try to relax by doing breathing exercises beforehand.

Itís also good to challenge negative thoughts. You may feel that others think you are Ďstupidí but that is highly unlikely. Remind yourself that you donít need otherís opinions of yourself, and you have friends who do care about you and donít think you are stupid.

Iím not too sure on blood pressure. It can increase when we are anxious, but should not always be high. Perhaps you could get a doctor to check up on this?

Crowded places and crowds can feel Ďsuffocatingí. It may help you to bring someone along who you trust when you are going to a crowded place, as they can provide support, and take your mind off how busy it is. You could also try to challenge yourself to go to one busy place every so often or try to stay in a busy place for as long as you can, and remember to reward yourself!

Do you find that you have trouble sleeping because you are worrying about things? Night time can be a time where we might worry more than during the day. It might help to write down your feelings and thoughts and not dwell on them. You might also find that doing things that help to relax you before you go to bed can help you sleep.

Feeling uncomfortable when touched could be because of many things and is definitely worth seeking out professional help if it bothers you a lot. With everything else, itís best to start small and if it helps, you may benefit from telling trusted people that you arenít comfortable with touch, so they must respect your boundaries and you can initiate contact on your own terms. You could start small with handshakes, and then holding hands etc. But this is best done with trusted people that you feel comfortable with.

For OCD, do you have a specific number of times you do things? If for example, you have to do things four times, you could try cutting it down to 3, and then later on 2 etc. It will feel strange doing things less, but trust yourself that you did do it right the first time! When we trust ourselves, we become more confident in our abilities, and so you wonít have to do things repeatedly to make sure you have done it correctly- you will trust yourself that you did do the action first time.

Stay strong!


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