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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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Unhappy The birthday party. - May 15th 2015, 11:40 PM

Hi everyone.

On Sunday my brother is having his sons birthday party he's 1 years old. His wife is inviting all of her family who I really don't like it's not gonna be a good day for my mental health if I attend. I said to my mum I didn't want to go and she got angry at me because my mum and my brother have a rocky relationship and it will look bad and she felt he might blame her. I said I'm willing to tell him myself and my mum can still go if she wants with dad. I won't be able to cope with my anxiety problems I would rather be at home doing something which is beneficial for me. The party is gonna be on a farm with loads of animals and they plan to have a meal there. I really don't want to go because of my brothers wife family will be there I have serious anxiety problems and it would really upset me to be around all these new people. ( I have met them before) I just don't feel comfortable what should I do I planned to say I'm feeling under the weather or something but then ill feel bad because he helped me look for jobs the other day.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Take care ~Justin~
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Re: The birthday party. - May 15th 2015, 11:55 PM

Hey Justin
No one can force you to go if you don't want to, it's up to you in the end. However there are some things you might want to consider, as you have other options besides not showing up.
These are some of my ideas:
>Go to the party and leave early
> Calling your brother and telling him you can make up for it by hanging out just him, his wife and his son and you.
>Go to the party but stick to someone. I know that when I would go to a party and I know I'd get anxiety from it, so I would plan beforehand to be a "buddy" with someone. Usually one of my sisters, but sometimes a friend who I'd stay with. That way you can focus on each other and don't have to talk to anyone you don't want to.
> Since it's a farm, maybe there will be a chance to take a walk and be alone for a bit. Or spend time with animals.
> I like to stick to the kids because grown ups can stress me out. When there are family gatherings and there is a kiddie section, I would ask to sit there instead. I don't know the arrangement of your nephew's party but getting along with kids tends to be easier for me, and much less stressful/anxiety inducing.
> Asking to come early to help set up and then if you left early, it might be more acceptable
> and of course there's not going and letting him know that and everything like how you wanted to do.
Hope this helps some.
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Re: The birthday party. - May 24th 2015, 07:38 PM

You may not like my option but maybe you could kinda be honest. Admit your anxiety is bad right now and you feel that going to the birthday party would be too much for you to cope and manage with at the moment but that when your brother has some spare time, you'll meet with him and go out for a bit with him on his own which might be less anxiety provoking.

Just a thought

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