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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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Unhappy Slowly Worsening Social Anxiety - July 8th 2015, 12:51 PM

Hi, it's been a while since I last posted here though I've been reading a lot. I just don't know how to deal with it I've told friends and some family but even they don't have clear answers.

I'm the kind of person that prefers to be approached first. Being a guy though, people especially girls expect me to be the one to approach first. The sheer thought of trying to get social with someone though scares me as they might see me as boring, pushy, or simply a little too clingy.

Recently I got separated from friends in school because of the way the lists were organized so I had to adjust yet again. I've made some friends that are really dull and somewhat boring while my past friends think I'm arrogant since I only look at them and not greet because I was so used to them greeting me first.

They expect me to be social primarily because I do a lot of public speaking which I am very comfortable in now because of the amount of times I was forced to do it then. There are some new guys and gals that I'm interested in knowing it's just that I don't know how, when, or if I should approach them.


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Re: Slowly Worsening Social Anxiety - July 8th 2015, 06:57 PM

Hey there. Just know you aren't alone. I also have social anxiety, and I can understand how difficult it can be. I'm a married, and I'm a mother of one. On top of that I'm currently putting myself though medical school, which requires a lot of hands on and social interactions. I find that it's easier to approach people if I already have something in mind that I want to say.

If you want to approach someone, think of a question or a compliment to tell them, then you can approach, tell them your name, and then ask the question or tell them the compliment. I know that sometimes it's hard to remember social cues, or to use social cues yourself, but just keep your head up and keep trying. It will slowly get easier.

If you have any other questions feel free to VM/PM me at anytime. My inbox is always open. Good luck!


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Re: Slowly Worsening Social Anxiety - July 9th 2015, 01:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathmaticiousforlife View Post
Hey there. Just know you aren't alone. I also have social anxiety, and I can understand how difficult it can be. I'm a married, and I'm a mother of one. On top of that I'm currently putting myself though medical school, which requires a lot of hands on and social interactions. I find that it's easier to approach people if I already have something in mind that I want to say.

If you want to approach someone, think of a question or a compliment to tell them, then you can approach, tell them your name, and then ask the question or tell them the compliment. I know that sometimes it's hard to remember social cues, or to use social cues yourself, but just keep your head up and keep trying. It will slowly get easier.

If you have any other questions feel free to VM/PM me at anytime. My inbox is always open. Good luck!
The problem I have is that I don't have anything to say to them or nothing comes to mind. It happens so often that they think I'm mad at them or I'm simply being a d-bag.


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Re: Slowly Worsening Social Anxiety - July 9th 2015, 01:54 AM

Try saying you like their shirt, or shoes to start things off, then introduce yourself. Such as, 'Hey Kate, I like the shirt you have on, by the way I'm Adelaide and it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.'


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Re: Slowly Worsening Social Anxiety - July 11th 2015, 08:48 PM

I have social anxiety too and like what Ade has said, compliments and questions can go a long way. Try focusing on one or two people because crowds can be overwhelming.
   
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