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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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husband and my panic attacks - December 22nd 2015, 02:42 AM

This was one of my biggest panic attacks in while, so Its really the first huge one sense we got married, and I feel like sense I walked away from him to deal with it alone, that he thinks he did something wrong. I honestly don't know what to say to him, what to do, or why I didn't let him help me.
Its all still new this married life and living together, were happy, don't get me wrong, but I am scared that I can't go to him when I get these panic attacks, I have only had a few sense the wedding, but non of them were this bad, and non of them did he ever think it was his fault. I don't know what to do.


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Re: husband and my panic attacks - December 22nd 2015, 03:04 AM

Hey,

All you can do is talk to him about it and let him know why you walked away. Let him know that it wasn't anything that he did and it was your way of dealing with the panic attack.

Maybe you could write down some ways that he could help you deal with future panic attacks. I know I am trying to figure out how to let my boyfriend support me through something. Writing down the things that would help you when you are in the moment could be really helpful. Sometimes talking can be hard but maybe you could let him know you are having a panic attack and let him distract you or something? I have panic attacks from time to time and I usually go to my room to deal with it because I get super irritated and uncomfortable in my skin.

Maybe you could tell him that if you walk away again it doesn't mean he is doing anything wrong it is just your way of dealing with it.

Do you normally have coping skills for your panic attacks? Maybe you could look at the Alternatives to Self Harm to try and come up with some coping skills? If you are in therapy it might help to talk to your therapist about this and see what you can come up with in regards to coping and letting your husband support you.

Lastly, do you know what thoughts or feelings triggered this attack? Maybe working on figuring out the trigger will help you out a bit? I know I try to identify what triggers the anxiety/panic attack in order to work on dealing with it in some way shape or form in the future.


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Re: husband and my panic attacks - December 24th 2015, 01:37 AM

I had thought i lost my wedding ring, and i freaked out. I haven't been in therapy in years, and i don't really have any coping skills anymore, normally i do not need them.


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Re: husband and my panic attacks - December 24th 2015, 02:55 AM

I can understand the panic. It might be good to invest into finding some coping skills although if this is something that is only going to occur once in a great while it might not be necessary. I have panic attacks often so I have been working on trying to find distractions.

If the severity of the attacks increase and you have them more often you might want to consider therapy or finding coping skills and see if that helps.

But, hopefully talking to your husband and letting him know how he can support you if this happens again will help. Also, letting him know that walking away was the best way you could deal with the severity of the attack can help. A lot of men like to fix problems and sometimes take it personally when they realize they can't. So, he might not feel like he did something wrong. He might be a little upset that he couldn't help you. I know my boyfriend struggles with not being able to help me at times.


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