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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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Scared to go back - August 19th 2017, 01:06 PM

Last year, I got into a fight at school. I've been having more problems with my anxiety since then and seeing arguments also scare me. After the fight, almost everyone at school bullied me, my boyfriend, and my friends. I don't want to go back to school, I'm too scared...
   
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Re: Scared to go back - August 21st 2017, 02:14 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you are too scared to go back to school now after the fight, and with your friends and boyfriend bullying you.

After a stressful event, like a fight, it's natural that you'd be more anxious, especially in situations like arguments. Arguments can trigger the 'fight and flight' reaction and so it's difficult to try to stay calm and not feel threatened or defensive. If there are certain situations or people that are prone to arguments, then it may help to try to avoid them or learn how to handle your own reactions (such as deep breathing or leaving the situation before an argument starts or gets worse).

Is it worth trying to reconcile with your boyfriend and friends? Fights and arguments can split people into taking sides, but it doesn't mean that you can't still be friends (or that you have to put up with the bullying either).

Since the fight happened last year, then maybe the people involved have moved on since then as things often die down when all the drama of a fight has passed. It would be ideal if everyone could have a fresh start, including you. If this doesn't happen though and you notice the bullying continuing or others trying to provoke a reaction from you, then it's best that you tell a teacher or another trusted adult about what's happening. You deserve to feel safe and supported at school, without having to worry about fights and bullies, and the teachers and support staff at school should be providing this, and if not, talk to them about it.


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Re: Scared to go back - August 23rd 2017, 10:09 AM

It wasn't them, it was classmates bullying me. Other than that, thanks for helping me
   
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Re: Scared to go back - August 24th 2017, 09:40 AM

Would a different school be better?

There may be alternatives.

If you get a note from your doctor that you have some anxiety issue, notes from doctors are often accepted as if God etched it in stone and people all over bow to the note and say "Well this student needs a special accommodation and we have a note from a doctor which justifies it so let's find her an alternative school to go to." Maybe a smaller school. Or just a different school.

Sometimes it's actually the physical place itself the mind attaches with trauma, and the mind doesn't want to go back to that place. Even if there's no reason to believe it will happen again, the brain has already decided this is not a safe place. But if you go to a different school, which is at a different location, the mind hasn't made a decision about this new place yet, and may decide this new place is just fine.
   
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