Anxiety making me ashamed of myself
 

Hi everyone, I'll try to keep this brief!

I was recently diagnosed with anxiety, and was put on a course which gave some useful tips and helped me deal with it. However, I have started to really struggle to deal with feelings of regret with things I have done and it's making me incredibly ashamed of the ways I acted. In the hope of not being too judged, my regrets generally centre around stupid decisions like making out with guys when I'm drunk on nights out sometimes, and my friends seeing and I assume thinking less of me (although they do the same). A big moment that I regret is when I went on a date and ended up letting the guy stay the night (we didn't have sex by my choice, he just slept there which was weird in itself) even though I didn't really want him too.

It's especially distressing because I know in all these situations I didn't really want to do these things, I just kind of went along with it because that's what other people were doing, part of me thought 'why not' and also because I find it really difficult to say no to people especially if I feel like we've built up some sort of connection. Now I just feel so stupid and ashamed at myself for doing this stuff because I'm not that kind of person (no shame intended to others, I know this is a common occurrence for most people my age, it's just that this choices are just so out of character for me)

Sorry this is long, I just feel this overthinking is just getting too much now and impacting on my mood and family relationships, so would love some advice on how to combat these feelings.

Thank you so much for reading!

Re: Anxiety making me ashamed of myself
 

Also I'm not sure if this is in the right section so feel free to move it!

Re: Anxiety making me ashamed of myself
 

Hey there,

Anxiety has a way of making us regret the past. It's hard to find the right tools but it might help if you could get into therapy. A therapist could probably help you 'reframe' the thoughts you are having that are making you anxious. Sometimes people with anxiety need more extensive help dealing with anxiety and things like individual and group therapy end up being beneficial.

I think that everyone does things that are out of character at time. I also think most people have regrets. However, when a person has anxiety those regrets intensify. I know that I have been struggling with anxiety and it's been increasing my regrets. Some of the things that help me is distracting myself by being on TH, blogging and watching youtube videos. I have also found that reminding myself that the things I am regretting are things everyone does periodically and that I am being overly hard on myself. I also have the ability to talk to my boyfriend about it and reassure myself through that.

Something that you could do is look at the Alternatives and Coping Methods The alternatives might be a good way to distract yourself from the anxious thoughts.

Best regards. :)