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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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LittleFish Offline
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Fear of social communication? - May 15th 2010, 02:17 AM

So I've come to realize that my fear of socializing is more than shyness. Unless shyness involves wandering around the house for fifteen minutes stressing because you're scared to make a phone call to an adult you've never met.

I'm not in a very talkative mood right now, so here's the gist: I'm scared of talking to people. I don't know why. When people talk to me, no problem. But when I'm responsible for initiating conversation, organizing a get-together, calling someone, etc. I completely freak out. I don't know why. Any time I have to call someone, it's like I feel like I'm going to be sick. If they call me, no problem, I'm okay. But if I have to call, my voice gets all shaky, my heart starts pounding, I feel as nervous as hell. I don't know what the problem is. What I do know is I'm sick of being like this. So does this sound like normal shyness to you or is it something I should be worried about? Because honestly, it shouldn't take a person fifteen minutes of rehearsing and panicking to make a phone call.
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Re: Fear of social communication? - May 15th 2010, 02:30 AM

i use to do that. and i finally realized it was the fear of expectation. i was afriad of what they were expecting. i'm afriad i'll perform bad, i wont be good enough for them, etc, etc. its the last part of my shyness that i have to go over and its taking forever. i usually just tell myself i'm being ridculous, pick the phone or whatever and get it over with.

" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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Re: Fear of social communication? - May 15th 2010, 05:55 AM

I would say that this is more than just normal shyness. I have similar issues and I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder about 6 years ago. However, my anxiety affected many other aspects of my life. It effected me being able to go to school. If it is only one area of ur life and if it is something that you think that you can work past with practice than you can probably do it without professional help. The advice my therapist gave me regarding how to deal with the phone: start by doing easier things---like call a local restaurant or store and ask what time they open or close- something simple that wont be too stressful. and then build up from there. Honestly with anxiety its a lot of practice to overcome the fear.
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Re: Fear of social communication? - May 21st 2010, 07:58 AM

It does sound like you might have social anxiety disorder. Like JackOffJill said, try to take small steps to overcoming your anxiety. Start with something easy, then move on to more difficult things. Unless it has a massive impact on your life like it does with me and JackOffJill, you probably don't need help from a professional, but tell your parents or a friend about the way you feel, and hopefully they can help and support you.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about social anxiety.

Good luck.
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Re: Fear of social communication? - May 23rd 2010, 01:51 AM

have u talked to a therapist?
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Re: Fear of social communication? - May 23rd 2010, 02:26 AM

I'm just like that. I'll rehearse what I'm going to say before I do anything and even after I'm done talking, I'll go over in my head what I just said, I guess to make sure it sounded okay. I'll probably read over this comment a few times before I post it too. I guess I would say what was already said before me, like what JackOffJill suggested. It use to be that I would have someone talk for me like a family member, but I tried doing things like when I go to a restraunt, I'll ask a question about the food or something like that. Sure, it may bring me out of my confort zone, but in the end it helps, I now can do things for myself when it comes to talking. ^_^
Good luck!
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