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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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*Faith* Offline
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College - September 6th 2010, 09:42 PM

First day there,

I know no one and I am incapable of socialising unless someone talks to me first and its in groups. The teacher makes us all move around the class trying to get to know each other and I end up storming out the classroom! I talked to her about it but most of the course includes group work in one way or another. I don't know how to deal with it...she's trying to find ways to make it easier for me but there's not alot I can do and I can't quit the course because the nothing else available.


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Re: College - September 7th 2010, 12:00 AM

Hey,

When I was in college, I hated the first while too. Trying to talk to people was hard, very hard. Even by the end of the year, I hardly spoke to most of my classmates. Perhaps try to find some people with common interests?

I did this, but in a bad way. I was broke, with no smokes, so I'd go and try to steal a smoke from someone, and sometimes they'd talk to me, so I'd answer back and it'd just be small-talk. But it worked. I made some friends that way.

If you have a more healthy interest, find a club for it, maybe. Or, if you like reading, spend your break time in the library, you might find some fellow readers. Every small step helps, believe me. I've been there, and done that.


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Re: College - September 7th 2010, 02:00 AM

Hey Faith,

Try your best to hang in there when you guys end up being placed in groups; the faster you become comfortable with the other students, the more pleasant classes (and college in general, really) are going to be for you. I definitely don't think you should quit. I hear you -- that you're struggling to make friends and socialize with your classmates, but the way I see it, dipping out of the class would also make it as if you're kind of...encouraging the fact that you feel you're incapable of handling other people in group situations. The longer you push it off/the more things you get out of, the (probably) stronger your aversion to this whole situation is going to become. So, I totally think you should just throw it all in the bucket - give it a whirl and try to go in there with the least bias you possibly can! I'm sure it'll work out in the next couple of weeks.

Take good care of yourself, and again - hang in there.



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Re: College - September 7th 2010, 07:13 PM

I know exactly what you mean... my university requires all classes to have at least two group projects, and I hate it more than anything. One of my classes is all about breaking into small groups and discussing the lecture, and I seriously freak out. I don't talk much during those group sessions.
I can usually find one person who appears to not be threatening at all... I usually go for someone who looks even more anxious and quiet than me, and I am able to strike up a conversation. Granted, I don't make lifelong friends this way, but I know at least one person well enough to get by. That may be a strategy you could use.
This was probably no help whatsoever, but mainly I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, and not to give up.
If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.
   
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