My maths teacher is doing this thing at the moment, where we bring in questions, or he gets some, and he chooses people to come up and answer them on the board. Since this has started, my whole maths lesson is spent with my head down and my heart pounding in my chest every time we come to a new question. My head repeats over and over again 'dont pick me, please dont pick me' because if I go up there, I won't be able to do it. I'll freeze. He'll tell me to ask for help, and I wont, because I can't. I can't talk to the class. They're all going to be laughing at me, saying how stupid I am because it's easy (they do that to everyone, but everyone else can ignore it, I can't).
I don't want to go up infront of everyone and have to talk, and work out something I may or may not know. I find it hard enough to simply put my hand up and answer it when I'm sure I have the right answer. I don't like being watched, or being the centre of attention. I can't bare the thought that people are laughing and thinking that I'm pathetic. And the teacher I have certainly wont make acceptions for me. He knows I need extra help with maths, and he doesn't care who it is or why they don't want to be there, he will make you go and do the question.
I'm physically scared of being there. I don't know what to do...If I get chosen, I don't know what I can do. I wont be able to do anything except go a shade of red that everyone will notice.
I guess I need advice and suggestions on what I can do. I honestly will never be ready to stand infront of a class such as mine. They bully people, and have in fact in a lot of cases, picked on me. I can't seriously be expected to be laughed at can I? I'd never tell him though, because he likes to get involved and I do not trust him.
It's not just that. I know bullying isn't good, but I could probably over see that as it's happened all my life. I'm just scared of being up the front and making a fool out of myself. I'm terrified of seeming stupid and having people think the same, even if they don't say it. I don't want to answer a question, because my teacher will probably encourage the laughing the way he does.