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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Me and my anxiety - September 10th 2011, 06:37 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well, where do I begin? I've been dealing with chest pains and feeling my heart race for a while now. I've been complaining to my mom about for over a year and she just took me to the doctor last week. When we got there, they took a lot of tests and everything came back perfect, except for the EKG. It said that my heart races way too fast and they told me I have anxiety.

Well the day after I found out I have anxiety, I decided to talk to my mom about my feelings. I told her that I don't like being compared to her and my sister. I am completely opposite from them; they're outgoing and loud, and I'm shy and quiet. I told my mom that I didn't like how I was treated and it hurt me when people compare to them. She said, "I don't understand what your problem is. That has nothing to do with your anxiety." And I told her how I didn't mean for it to be about my anxiety. And she said, "Well excuse the f*** out us for having f***ing personalities and not being so f***ing dull. If you weren't so shy and boring, you might have a chance at having more than a few God damn piece of sh** friends. Stop trying to make us sound like f***ing piece of sh** people for not being like you." And I obviously didn't take it well, because she's my MOTHER. She's supposed to make me feel better and help me with my problems, not make me feel even more insecure. So I acted like it didn't bother me and told her I was going to take a shower. The second I turned the water on, I burst into tears. I couldn't breathe and my heart was racing faster than I ever knew was possible. I wanted my life to be over. It was a good thing I didn't have my blade or my pills or I would've taken my life. I never wanted something as bad as I did then. I finally washed my face and relaxed and when I was done in the shower, my mom acted like nothing was wrong. I didn't get an apology or even a sympathetic look. Nothing. I got over it and moved on with my life.

A few days later, I had just woken up, and said a simple "Good morning" to my mom and that was it. She ended up yelling at me and saying I was a piece of sh** and she started hitting me. It was really cold in my house, which made her slap hurt even worse. I asked her to please stop (while I was bawling), and that resulted in her calling me a stupid, worthless bi***, a dumb piece of sh**, and a f***ing whore. Again, she acted like nothing happened and I didn't get an apology. I know admitting you did something wrong is difficult, but even a hug or something to show that she was sorry would've worked.

Well today in Biology, I was sitting at my desk and I felt like I was being smothered. I couldn't breathe and my heart, once again, was racing really fast. Nothing was said or done that caused me to act like this and I didn't say anything to my teacher because I didn't think it was that big of a problem. After school, I mentioned to my mom what had happened and she looked at me with a look like I was stupid and she said, "Um, I don't really know what your problem is. There's nothing else we can do. The doctor can't do anything else. You're fine." Then I explained how my chest pains and heart beat was getting signifigantly worse. And her response was, "Okay, again, there's nothing the doctor can do, you'll just have to suck it up and deal with the pain. There is nothing anyone can do. Stop complaining about it. I'm tired of hearing about your so-called chest pains." And it's not like we don't have money to go see another doctor, it's the fact that my mom doesn't want to waste her time or money to make sure I'm okay. I know anxiety is probably not a serious "disease", I guess you can call it, but if I get too upset, it hurts my heart. Both my sister and my mom know about my anxiety and I've asked them to please stop treating me how they do. Of course my sister is still a brat and my mom acted like she didn't even care. Now that I asked them to treat me a little better, they treat me equally, if not worse.

I'm sorry about this rant, but I don't know what to do anymore. I can't deal with this anymore. And please don't tell me "You need to get away from her." Because I can't. I would feel defeated and like she "won". Like I really am a worthless, piece of sh**.
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Re: Me and my anxiety - September 20th 2011, 11:30 AM

That really sucks. I hope you find proper decent help soon/

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Re: Me and my anxiety - September 20th 2011, 06:13 PM

That sounds a lot like my mom. I also have serious problems with anxiety. I get the chest pain as well, the racing heart, and I also start vomiting and stop eating for days at a time. The thing is, it can get much worse. You are already having problems with it physically, and it is unhealthy. I really hope it doesn't get to the point where you get hospitalized over it. Severe anxiety can get serious, the effects it causes can cause a lot of damage.

My mom never thought it was a big deal until I ended up in the ER a second time over it. First for not eating entirely, and the second for having what appeared to be a panic attack that was lasting for several hours.

I don't think it is a good idea to just ignore it. You could either try to convince your mom to take you to see a psychiatrist (They can help with anxiety problems) or a regular doctor (some can help with anxiety too and even give you medicine for symptoms such as your racing heart rate. I was precribed such), and if they can control it, you will actually save you guys a lot of medical bills in the long run. If you try to see psychiatrist, there are government places you can go for little or no charge depending on your financial situation. If you look online you can call a hotline that can set you up with an appointment at one of these places. Just explain you have trouble with anxiety and such and they will help you.

Another option is to try to conqour it on your own. It is not impossible, but it is not easy at all. Especially when you have physical symtoms. There are so many things you can do. Try to concentrate one thing and ignore all the other thoughts, taking deep breaths, hot showers, good books, going for a jog... anything that uses physical excertion is a really great idea for relieving anxiety. If your chest is hurting, taking a nap can help too, or venting to friends.

I really think you should keep talking to your mom about it and see if you can go to a government run place. They can even help you pay for the medication, if you are precribed any. It sounds like it might be best to avoid talking to your mom about these other things, at least for right now. You need to worry about your health and not stress yourself out. I know that talking to my mom only results in fights that end in me only getting more hurt and stressed.

Take care of yourself, I hope this helped a little.

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Re: Me and my anxiety - September 20th 2011, 06:30 PM

Based on what I've read, there is a direct correlation between the unhealthy relationship you have with your mother, and your feelings of anxiety. I would definitely seek help for both problems. In fact, if you can work things out with your mother, the feelings of anxiety may go away altogether - anxiety can be biological in nature, but it can also become more extreme based on stressful life situations. Please, please, PLEASE ignore all the people who are saying you need to "suck it up". You don't. There ARE things you can do to reduce the amount of anxiety you're experiencing, and I honestly believe that improving your relationship with your mother, either by seeking out individual or family therapy, could vastly improve your anxiety and life as a whole. =)

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Re: Me and my anxiety - September 22nd 2011, 01:16 AM

as has been said, the best thing would be to see a therapist to get to the root of the anxiety itself, and see a doctor to help manage symptoms until the therapy becomes effective.

Anxiety is definitely a disease, just not caused by germs or anything; it's a chemical imbalance in your head, but it can be helped if you seek the right attention
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