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Nirerin Offline
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Name: Erin
Age: 28
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Ah jealousy... - January 11th 2009, 10:02 PM

I know that jealousy is an unattractive trait, but I can't help feeling jealous at the moment. It's silly really.

I do German at school, and it's probably my best subject. I've been taking it for the last four years with the same teacher, and pretty much the same classmates. I have always done my homework, I have always worked hard and quietly (I don't really have anyone to talk to anyway), and I've always achieved well.

Now, my school was one of two chosen in the country for a three-week exchange programme in Berlin in January, during our summer holidays. Four students from my class were picked to go. I don't want to sound like I think I'm superior, but I know that I am better at German than at least two that have gone, but of course, because of my disability (Cerebral Palsy), I wasn't chosen, and even if I'm not better at German, I certainly work harder. They hardly ever do their homework, and they spend 3/4 of the time chatting about irrelevant crap in English, and this is how they get rewarded? Three out of four have already been to Germany, so why shouldn't other people get a chance to go?

This is why I loathe CP sometimes. I work so hard at something, and I know I am capable of something, but it's almost like that's a waste of time. It seems that people aren't willing to see what I'm capable of, because they're just like 'Nope. Sorry. You're disabled. It would be far too hard to organise.' It annoys me so much, and this sort of thing ALWAYS happens. I work SO hard at something I want, and then I get slapped in the face, told that I can't do it. My disability is out of my control, but I always feel as if people make out that it is my fault I am like I am. So what's the point of even trying any more?

So yes, I am jealous, and yes I am bitter. They're in Berlin having a grand time, while I'm stuck here. Lucky sods... then again, when is life ever fair?

Thank you for listening to me vent.

"We are defined by opportunities. Even the ones we miss."
-- Benjamin Button.
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Trickmatic Offline
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Re: Ah jealousy... - January 12th 2009, 01:49 PM

Hey Erin.

I just want to say that I do hope that you do get the opportunity to go the Germany some time in the future, and that it is human nature to be jealous. Wishing you all the best~
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Stuckinhell Offline
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Re: Ah jealousy... - January 12th 2009, 02:18 PM

Hey erin,

It sucks when that happens. Similars happened to me...and the jealousy gets high. But maybe talk to your teachers? Find out why you werent asked? whether it was the CP or not?
Never let a disability get the better of you. So you havent gone on this trip...so go another time with family or friends.

Hope you feel better soon

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