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Ashleylovesyou Offline
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Bye-Bye Friend - September 3rd 2013, 05:29 PM

Not sure what topic this would be considered. It is grieving, friends, health, and work related.... Hmmm....?

I work in the adult foster care system, with adults whom have special needs. I have been working at one home for almost a year. I have gotten really close to all of the residents there. I just found out from my boss that one is moving to the other side of the state. Her guardian refused us (staff) permission to visit her when she moves, and refused us (staff) permission to call and/or write her. She will be living in a house through a different company, and miles and miles away. We are not allowed to take pictures/videos of her (also per guardian). She is not legally capable to give us any form of permission or anything that goes against her guardian (she is severely mentally "disabled" and is non-verbal).

Her (and the rest of the residents) are like my family. Imagine finding out that in 2 weeks one of your close family members/friend was moving and you would never see or communicated with them again.

How do you cope?
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Re: Bye-Bye Friend - September 5th 2013, 02:58 PM

Wow I'm surprised they would cut off contact like that. That's sad. I'm sorry that you're going through this, maybe in time things will change but in the mean time I guess just get through it day by day. Really wish I had better advice but not really sure what to say.
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Re: Bye-Bye Friend - September 5th 2013, 05:47 PM

No one knows what to say. No one really has to deal with it except for the people I work with, and the people who have similar jobs... :/
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Re: Bye-Bye Friend - September 6th 2013, 12:37 AM

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I volunteer in a nursing home so I know how much they can mean to you. You've spent a lot of time with them and then one day they're gone. It's really unfortunate, but you'll get through it. I'm really sorry that they won't let you continue contact, but remind yourself that they'll still be receiving the care they deserve. With time it'll get a little better. You just have to keep going and lean on others when you need to. Your co-workers are there for you as well and I'm sure they were close to them as well. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need to talk.

"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
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Re: Bye-Bye Friend - September 6th 2013, 01:41 PM

It actually tends to be rules in those establishments. I volunteer with disabled kids and I'm not really allowed to take pictures of them or anything without the parental consent cause it's a confidentiality thing, their age obviously hugely affects those rules too (ex. the majority of the kids I work with are 4-5 years old, only a few of them have been 6-12 or 13-19 years old).

It can suck when you are about to lose the people you work with. After I've worked with the kids all year long I'm like aw shit this sucks.... But since the family has said no, you might just have to accept that. You'll have to figure out how to cope with the loss of your clients (for a lack of better words for who they are to you) and you can use this as a learning experience when dealing with a client leaving to do somewhere. The family might just feel overwhelmed and feel like cutting contacts will help this girl adjust better if she's not always being reminded of what happened or maybe they feel they can't monitor all the emails well enough or maybe they just don't think it'd be appropriate. Who knows, but unfortunately you can't do much to change it far as I know. Just use it as a learning experience for now.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
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byebye, friend

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