TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Education and Careers Work of any kind can get stressful at times. Ask in this forum if you need help with coursework, applications, and more.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
Newsletter Tips Writer
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Kate*'s Avatar
 
Name: Katie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,720
Join Date: January 6th 2009

So close to quitting... - November 19th 2013, 07:30 PM

So, as most of you know I've been in graduate school for my masters since June of last year and everything was going relatively well until my 3rd semester when I "failed" a class, anything below 80 is failing and I had a 76.25, so I took a semester away from that class and took other ones that I needed then tried the class again this summer where I ended up with the same (doctoral student) instructor with whom there was a MAJOR personality conflict, and not just because she failed me. Before I took the class the second time I asked my advisor if this person would be teaching it and was told no, by the time I found out he was wrong, it was too late so I stuck it out. After I approached her to avoid a repeat of the first time, she told me that both she and the coordinator of my program agreed that I "lack empathy" and that I "get it, but if you lack empathy then counseling isn't the place for you."

I also had a class with the coordinator, so offended, I approached him, since she spoke for him, and he told me "I don't think I could ever bring myself to tell a student that." and based on what I told him he had concerns about her. I ended up withdrawing from the class after failing the midterm because if you fail twice or your GPA drops below 3.0 they permanently dismiss you from the program.

This semester I tried taking the class again with a new professor and ended up having the same problem My participation sucks and it's 25% of the grade (I think part of it is that I'm sick to death of having to do this), I approached the professor and was ripped apart then went to the coordinator who recommended withdrawing again and "taking a break." which would delay my entire life a full year! So I've now withdrawn for the second time to avoid failing AGAIN and now I'm worried about my grade in one of the classes I'm still in participation again, of course. Before I withdrew I met with the professor one more time to make sure I was as bad off as I thought I was before ruining my entire life, when I brought up the fact that I was thinking about quitting she was all like "That would be your choice" and "You put yourself in this position" and S*** like that.

When I talked to the coordinator I told him I was paranoid about being dismissed and he said it's not happening, "don't be paranoid". He also told me that the doc student had nothing bad to say about me, so now I think she may have convinced him that I lied to him about what she said. I'm so sick of dealing with this and I can feel dismissal coming I am 2 seconds away from either getting dismissed or quitting. It's NOT what I want, but I'm starting to feel like I don't have a choice. He told me that they aren't dismissing me, but they're concerned and there's "nothing wrong with taking a break" (said that about 3 times)

This has been my DREAM for more than half of my life, but I'm starting to lose sight of it and I can feel it falling apart. If I fail again, as I suspect I'm going to, and my GPA is low enough, he'll have to dismiss me. If I'm lucky enough to stay in by the grace of God, I'll still have 5 semesters of work left including taking that class for the 4th f***ing time. As much as I don't want to give up on my dream I've more or less decided that the next time I take it will be the last and if I have to withdraw again (or I fail) I will drop out.

It just sucks because I've gotten as close to having this as you can possibly get without having it and it's all going to fall apart at the last second. I don't know what I'm asking, I'm not even expecting anybody to read though this whole thing. Thanks to anyone who looks at it.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Lelola Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Lelola's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 1,077
Join Date: June 16th 2013

Re: So close to quitting... - November 19th 2013, 08:16 PM

I'd take a semester break. I really recommend it. Right now everyone seems against you and give yourself a break to clear your head. Maybe plan a mini-vacation for a few days.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
Newsletter Tips Writer
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Kate*'s Avatar
 
Name: Katie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,720
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: So close to quitting... - November 20th 2013, 04:48 AM

I've registered for it next semester, but there's a good chance I'll end up dropping it and just taking my electives instead. Especially because the doc student instructor is assisting the other guy who is teaching it (it's that or take it with the woman who's class I just dropped from) I will end up having 5 electives instead of 3, but at least then I don't take 4 months off. I feel like that would be quitting. I mean I didn't start this to stop half way through. Plus I've tried taking a semester away from the class before and it didn't fix the problem, so doing that again isn't going to do anything but delay graduation and make me mad. Not to mention I took a full year off after undergrad so I already feel like I'm behind.

If I drop it for the Spring I'll be trying again in the summer unless this SAME person is teaching it again, in which case I obviously will NOT, but then I'm looking at being a YEAR behind where I should be when I went full time every semester and that makes NO SENSE.

I don't feel like trying again next semester will be any better though. I have until August of 2018 to finish, but with 5 semesters worth of work (almost 2 full years) left, I can't afford to take too much time off or I'll have the new problem of worrying about not finishing in time. My graduation is delayed as it is I just want to be done.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Spirit. Offline
Run free
I've been here a while
********
 
Spirit.'s Avatar
 
Name: Kaveri
Age: 27
Location: India

Posts: 1,422
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: January 28th 2009

Re: So close to quitting... - November 20th 2013, 06:43 AM

Hi Katie,

I wouldn't say that taking the semester off is the only way or the best way for you, frankly because I think each person knows what's best for themselves, unconsciously and just has to tune in to figure things out.

Alright, so maybe it didn't work out the first time, or the second time. Third time lucky? From what you've said, I can see how much you want this and how important a dream it is for you. If it makes a difference, I've seen a lot of your posts and replies and don't think you lack empathy. Maybe it's just wrong place wrong time, wrong person. Although, I don't think you should let it stand in your way. Your instructor may not be the best, yet, it seems like you don't have a choice on that score, although, you do seem to have a choice regarding how much you like or dislike your instructor and more importantly, how much you love the course and how hard you're willing to work for it. One suggestion, next time you go talk to this instructor of yours take one of those tiny record players and show it to your coordinator if anything come up that you would like to address.

From here on in, just know that no one can break you unless you let them. You've still got your dream. No one can take it away from you. Don't give up on it no matter what. If you need to or feel you should take the electives this time around, do so. Just clear your head before every class, breathe deeply and allow yourself to calm down so that you can do what you need to do regardless of the obstacles anyone sets up in front of you. Stay strong.

If you need to talk, you know where to find me.
Best of luck. Hope you have a bit of time to rest before the next semester. Relax, get your rest and go into the next semester with a fresh mind and outlook. You'll do great.


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




HelpLINK Mentor - 2.4.2011
LiveHelp Operator - 18.6.2011

  Send a message via MSN to Spirit. Send a message via Skype™ to Spirit. 
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Lelola Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Lelola's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 1,077
Join Date: June 16th 2013

Re: So close to quitting... - November 20th 2013, 09:57 AM

It's not quitting if you commit yourself to go back. Have you taken time off between grad and undergrad school? Taking a semester off is not the end of the world. It can be better, especially if you can relax and remind yourself of the goal.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
Newsletter Tips Writer
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Kate*'s Avatar
 
Name: Katie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,720
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: So close to quitting... - November 20th 2013, 07:01 PM

My undergrad took an extra year and then I took a full year off and now this and it would be the 4th time I have to take the class. The coordinator suggested counseling which I am trying ONCE (given the expense even with insurance) mostly out of respect for him, but I can't afford to keep that up if it costs as much as I think it will.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Lelola Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Lelola's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 1,077
Join Date: June 16th 2013

Re: So close to quitting... - November 21st 2013, 03:23 PM

I'd try at least three times if you can afford it.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,034
Blog Entries: 35
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: So close to quitting... - November 23rd 2013, 04:10 AM

Hello, Katie! I'm sorry to hear you haven't been able to resolve this issue yet. It must be so frustrating to keep encountering this instructor time and time again! Have you considered applying to other programs and transferring your credits for the classes you have already taken? I imagine it would be a huge pain in the butt, and it may delay you even further... but it might be better than giving up on your dream altogether. One of the women in my cohort ended up transferring to the evening program at my university, and while there were a few scheduling conflicts, she was able to make it work. Academic requirements should be fairly similar for each program in your state, so I imagine it would be possible to discuss this idea with program administrators at other universities. Again, not easy, and not ideal, but perhaps better than giving up altogether if things don't work out with your current program.

Don't forget to look for low cost/sliding scale/free counseling options in your area! You may be able to find an agency/organization that employs trainees/interns who offer more reasonable fees. You may also be able to join a "professional" support group. Some licensed professionals will offer support groups that are specifically geared toward pre-licensed professionals/students (because they know how stressful the licensure process can be and how tight money can be!).





   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
Newsletter Tips Writer
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Kate*'s Avatar
 
Name: Katie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,720
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: So close to quitting... - November 23rd 2013, 07:09 PM

After a year and a half of being told that I was being resistant and "choosing" not to go to another school for free counseling (despite not having a license and the school being in a dangerous area), the coordinator finally told me I could go to the health center for it. It's not free and they're billing insurance so my dad will find out because he's the policy holder and gets notified every time I use insurance for something (there are REALLY good reasons I don't want him to know), but if it comes down to dismissal I can show them that I took their suggestion and at least tried it.

Other than this person, I LOVE my school and my program, I've seriously never felt like I fit anywhere as well as I fit here and if I transferred schools they would only take 3 classes out of 20 and I only have 7 left so it would be like starting over completely.

Same for changing programs and getting the same degree in another specialty from the same school. The classes are the same, but if you took them under one degree you have to take them again for the new one, even if you passed them already, I am NOT willing to start over.

I actually got a 97/100 on a paper I thought I bombed and the final for that class is open book and open note (which she just told us on Thursday) so I'm not worried about dismissal for this semester anymore. I just have to decide if I want to try the class again next semester or if i want to wait. I might get stuck with this person either way and if that's the case it doesn't make much sense to delay my life to try avoiding her (especially because it doesn't seem to help not to have her). The coordinator suggested getting the counseling while NOT taking the class again when I asked him, but I've tried taking a break from it before and that didn't work either.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
close, quitting

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.