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wonderingperson Offline
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Question Just letting it out.. - January 31st 2014, 11:03 AM

(16 years old female) Hey, well here's the thing. I've just started year 11 and i'm already stressed. Last year, i did hardly any homework and for exams did last minute week preparations and i went by actually getting pretty good marks. Which got me into pretty top subjects which i feel is all too much for me.. or i'm thinking i'm just seriously unmotivated? I know this year i have to do homework for 3 hours every night as suggested by basically the school but i have heaps of hard time consuming subjects. I have maths extension, 2unit maths, english advanced, chemistry, legal, economics and sor 1. It's my second day and i've already gotten soooo much homework, and i'm scared basically that i'm going to fail because of how umotivated i am. I really want to get a good ATAR , so i can't get into one of the top universities in sydney. Maybe do some sort of branch in law?Medicine?Marketing?Economics? super spy? idk. I feel these expectations from myself, my parents.. and my siblings because they are all pretty much successful.. maybe except for my sister. Both my brothers have graduated from the two top uni's and have jobs now. One of my brother always encourages me to do well in maths, and is very supportive. But is also challenging, saying how much better he was then me when he was my age, but i think only to tease me to do better. I am a competitive person i could say.. Then theres my sister, who's still in uni but she's failing and my mum gets really stressed about that, and has an unfortunate temper that gets the better of her. For example, she was basically screaming at my sister that next time she leaves back to uni (since she's on holidays now&lives on campus there) to not come back and she doesn't want to see her face if she doesn't pass her subjects. She's being serious too. Also i work at food chain grilled chicken lols, and i used to work 3 shifts per week, but i'm going to cut down to one.. i know its the right thing to do, since i work from 5-10 and it consumes alot of studying time and other beneficial things i could do. But i like work, it's a change of scenery and i feel independent there, no one from my family watching me and telling me don't say this or that . Sorry for such the long message btw.. umm well.. in all round i feel that everything is too much for me, maybe even when its not in realistically..cause so what i have abit of homework right? Just do it . Specifically saying, i feel that i can't juggle all these subjects, or that i'm not good enough to do english advanced, i'm just feeling there's just so many smart people in my class that are much better then me and it lets me down . I'm also worried for the first english assesment coming up because i believe its an oral presentation. And i fear public speaking and speeches like beyond. When i was younger i used to cry before or after a speech, my hands always shake and i speak to fast. It's gotten better because now i just shake and speak really fast lol. I feel really stressed about that...though i know its an irrational fear and all that sort because i've searched it up. I've realised this and im not sure if its anxiety? Tho when i first began working at my job, my hands were like quivering abit, only noticed since my co-worker pointed out. like its not always there though, but it came again when i got upset at someone and was worrying about something don't remember. Yeaaaah..... idk. Just looking for an outside perspective.
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Re: Just letting it out.. - January 31st 2014, 06:24 PM

Hey there,

When i started university last year, I had the same feeling. It was too much, too hard and I seemed to be the only one who had to struggle, so I kinda know where your coming from.
So well, first thing first. You wrote it's only your seconde day, so wait a bit. Eventually everything will calm down and you will get used to your knew classes. Give yourself some time.
Also, even if the others don't seem to have any troubles and seem to be very smart, you don't know whats going on inside their heads. I know from myself, that I acted like it was really easy and I had no trouble with any of the subjects but on the inside I was nearly paniced everytime we had El.-E. class, 'cause I did barely understand a word our prof said.
And even if the others did not have any trouble, it doesn't matter, which marks they get. It's yours that matter and just because they don't seem to have a hard time, it doesn't mean you are not allowed to have a hard time.
Also, I understand that you want to be really good and with your brothers being so successfull and your parents having such high expactations, it is really hard, but you should try not to pressure yourself to much. It's not healthy and if you pressure yourself too much, chances are high you will make mistakes. It's like when you late for an appointment and try to get ready really fast, so you won't be late. The faster you try to get ready, the slower you get, 'cause you drop your mobile, take the wrong keys and forget you wallet so you have to go back and get it.
For you homework I can only suggest, to organize your time. Write down somewhere, when which assignment has to be finished and try to finish them before hand. Also, if you don't feel any motivation, start with the subjects you like the most and are good at. Once you see, how much you have finished already it will be easier, to do the rest, 'cause it does not seem to be that much anymore.
Again, I don't know your school system, but maybe if you really can't do it all in time it is ok to not have one homework once or twice, as long as you do it later, but that entirely depends on your teachers and how important homework is at your school.
About your job, it seems to me, that it helps you and actually relieves you from some of the stress, so I think it's good, that you want to keep working, even if you have to cut short on your shifts. Studying is important but don't let it take away all of your time. Some breaks inbetween are important and if you like your job, don't feel bad about the time you 'waste' but rather enjoy it. It's important for your healt as well.
As for your fear of speaking in front of people, well... it never gets easy I guess (at least it has to get for me yet), but it will get easier. The only thing that helps is practise, practise, pratcise. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes, try to breath deep and slow and count slowly down from teen, before strating your presentation. Also, not looking directly at the people, but at the wall behind them, the hat of someone, or their foreheads works for some people. It looks a lot like your looking directly at them, so most of the time noone will notice.

Well that's a rather long answer already so i will leave it at that.
Hopefully at least some of these things are a bit helpfull.
You can do this!

It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

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Usernames Suck Offline
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Re: Just letting it out.. - January 31st 2014, 09:30 PM

It's easy to feel overwhelmed when you have so much work to do. As you've said, you're only starting out now, so try to remain calm. Sometimes when there's a big change it can take some time until you adjust to it so don't pressure yourself.

It might help you if you do your best to stay as organized as possible. There's a lot of techniques (you should also check out study tips while you're at it) but you could get a day planner and write down everything you have to do each day so you won't forget it. You can use a calendar in addition to that. Make a time table and mark out your classes, your job, and the hours you'll spend studying and then do that. Leave some time aside as well for rewarding yourself for your hard work and relaxing. Don't beat yourself up if you don't stick to schedule, just try to not make that a recurrent thing (if you're having trouble sticking to it then it's a sign you should change it). Try to break large tasks into smaller chunks as well to make it easier for you to know what you have to do and when. For example, if you have a large project to work on, outline what each step would be and then distribute it over your schedule.

If your school has an academic advisor or councellor, you should try to talk to them. They'll be able to work with you on advice to keep things organized in a way that works well for you (as each individual has different learning and working styles) to make the most out of your time. They may also be able to advise you on the classes you're taking, so that if any of them are classes you could drop without a problem, that could probably be managed as well. That kind of thing.
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