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Ambiance Offline
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I'm really just not a good student. - April 6th 2015, 06:53 PM

I mean, like, I've never been a poor one either. But I've never been great. I do just about average, maybe a little above. Of course, I always had the notion in my head that doing well in school was important and that I would eventually get my ass in gear and go to college somewhere I would be proud of and basically become an entirely different person.

I graduated high school two years ago. I spent the first semester at a state school, had a nervous break down (and it wasn't a very good school tbh) and asked my sister if I could move in with her for a while, out of state. I did and I took a few classes while I was there. I had more options for school there, like there were lots places that would likely accept me that were considered to be pretty good schools, just not crazy good. But I would have had to wait a bit for residency and it wasn't the best decision, financially. I decided to move back, both for fiscal and emotional reasons, but only if I lived in one specific city because my home state is in the South--you could probably guess haha--and there is pretty much one highly regarded state school here unless you are doing some type of engineering. I'm set on either English or RTF.

But anyway, there's this one school in this one city and then a whole bunch across the state that I could have worked a whole lot less and gotten into, no sweat. But it's about time for me to transfer now and I'm sure as heck ready to, but my GPA is still just kind of average and I applied anyway, but I don't think I have a snowball's chance at the university I wanted to go to.

Andsobut, I picked out a back up school about five hours away in a town that I never knew much about because a friend of mine from the first university moved there and likes the school better. It has a pretty well-reviewed RTF program and the town is not a city, but it's still fairly large. I feel like I've been gravitating towards something smaller anyway and since the school itself is more likely to give me money to attend, costs less anyway, and I did my taxes correctly this year, I could possibly go there and not have to work or take out loans. I would have a lot more time to be involved in things that I always want to, I would be at a campus I could be involved with--there's certainly enough to do and the area holds a lot for my interests and the community reflects my values for the most part. I know three other people from high school who went there and love it. I also want to get a little further away from home but have been getting the feeling that I may do better in a large-town as opposed to a city. I really think it's a good option, even if I get into the university I wanted to originally--because I would have to take out loans to do so and I would still have to work a lot and my course work would be more difficult. I don't want to feel like I'm picking an easy option that won't make me proud, though. Part of me is like, you shouldn't give up on the one you wanted, but the other part is like, plans change and there's nothing wrong with seeking experience instead of trying to force myself to be an amazing student when I know that studying for hours is not my strong suit.

I'm basically just re-evaluating my ideas of success and self-worth. I've always been told that being a good student was important and that if I wanted, I could mold myself into one--I did last semester, but I'll tell you what, I was miserable and I didn't have a life. I keep thinking it's going to pay off, but it really won't until I graduate from said upper-level state university. This semester I've become involved in organizations that have offered me valuable experience and I think I'm more of a hands-on person. I'm about to start my junior coursework when I transfer, as well, and I've always been active in classes that pertain to my interests. A lot of it is coming from my sister; she went to the really good university that I'm trying to get into and supported my decision to move back, but hates everywhere else in the state and kept pushing me to try to get in better schools and take out loans if necessary and feel like "I had options." So I keep feeling like I'm just doing this because I don't feel like I have options, but I know it's not true.

I just need someone to tell me that I'm not making up excuses to be lazy and give up on my hopes and dreams. I know that I'm not super happy here and I know what will make me happy, but I really need some honest opinions.
   
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Re: I'm really just not a good student. - April 10th 2015, 03:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambiance View Post
I mean, like, I've never been a poor one either. But I've never been great. I do just about average, maybe a little above.
The same was I..and I don't regret about it


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