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Should I rush a Frat? - January 7th 2016, 05:27 AM

So, over the course of the first day at my new school, I've realized that I left my social skills behind a year ago at my old school. Like, I've completely forgotten how to talk to people. I always thought, "well, at least I can make guy friends..." Well fuck that, the other day when everyone was moving into the dorms (after me, already moved in) I was literally hiding in my room, checking the peephole to make sure the hall was clear so I could go to the bathroom. Hell, I didn't even eat that day and I almost passed out. Granted, it isn't USUALLY that bad... but Jesus Christ. Making friends or even talking to girls though really IS that bad, if not a little worse. I'm finally at the school of my dreams but if I continue like this, it could be almost as bad of an experience as my old school. I do have my best friend and love interest in the other side of the building, so it can't be worse for me unless I find a way to destroy that relationship.
So I was thinking I should join a frat. Basically throw myself into the fire, I guess, and be forced to interact with people. I do a lot better with forced interactions, as opposed to, "hey, go talk to people!" (FUCK THAT). I haven't talked to anyone except my roommate (who I like) and my best friend, and the awkward icebreakers to start off classes.
I've always had a thing against frat lifestyles though; one of my brothers always reinforced the idea that they are full of trashy douchebags, and I rolled with it. My older brother was in a frat, and he had a good time, but I don't see him nearly as much. I'm seriously considering rushing though. But what do you do, for rushing and actually being in a frat, other than party?


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Re: Should I rush a Frat? - January 8th 2016, 05:35 AM

I don't actually know what a frat is because I am Australian and not American and the culture and structure of our higher education system is very much different to that of the United States. I fundamentally do not recommend you join anything without doing proper research beforehand. Make sure you understand the risks and benefits associated with the lifestyles and the true nature of life as a frat. You have already done that by speaking to your brother and other connections and that is commendable but go further than that. Have a chat to students who are currently frat members, or even just observe them, observe their way of carrying themselves, their personality and such. Also, don't forget to consider having a look at some government resources on partying and maybe some case studies of how that lifestyle can turn against you.

I do not have any friends but my life has not been a devastation. I bet you are wondering what the secret is. Literature and politics and other forms of boring shit. You really have to remember that frats are normal stemmed from college and University and those higher education platforms are for just that: education. Remember that the real value of the course and the environment (and the reason you are there) is to learn about the universe, its inhabitants, its history, its engineering and mechanics, its physics, not its Vodka cruisers. To be crucially honest, rather than being in the city on a Saturday night, what I wouldn't give to spend an entire night with my University's library to myself. The back shelf alone contains an outstanding array of books and textual references that I did not know existed. Ernest Hemingway, Charles Dickens (Bleak House looks much smaller in their version), The Essentials of Fiction, the Great Gatsby, the complete works of Walt Whitman, GAH! . Then you get to Keynesian Economics and criminal law records from 1929!

You have all these resources at your disposal, concentrate on those rather than the social side of things. Mind you, probably not as much as I do .

Finally, I recommend you get counselling for your social issues. People get offended by that term but a lack of ability to facilitate social performance is a real issue. Me, personally, I can do well in a social environment but choose not to. If you cannot, then that is something that needs to be adjusted because the world requires us to be cooperative, to use our skills to better enhance the skills of others and subsequently improve the lives of others. These are how inventions and books and theories are made, through the amalgamation of ten dictionaries and four encyclopedias worth of information. That can only happen with social skills and that is a very important deficiency to be addressed.

Really, Frats are not a major human issue.


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Re: Should I rush a Frat? - January 11th 2016, 11:30 PM

Becoming a member of something won't automatically make you more outgoing. It's something you have to actively work on trying to do. Change takes time. If you want to make more friends then take the initiative to do so. Friends won't magically appear out of thin air. You have to make an effort. Don't join a frat just because you have social anxiety. You can change your ways of thinking just by working on it.
   
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