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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ZaraWrites Offline
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Not motivated.. - November 7th 2016, 04:04 PM

I've had this new job since September 26th, and to start off with, I was enjoying it. Recently, it's just gotten really hard, because they're starting to give me long hours again. I can't do more than 6 hours, but I have a 10 hour shift on Friday, and then another 10 hour shift next week. This job is making me really depressed, because I'm barely at home, because of the job, and I'm barely spending time with my fiancé. I just feel like our relationship is fading apart, because we're spending less time with him. I also feel like my mental health is going down the drain, because whenever I'm at work, I'm rarely happy, and I don't feel motivated to do the job. My health isn't great, but the doctors won't do anything about it. I don't want to quit, because I want to show people that I can do this job, and I can stick at a job for more than 3 months. What can I do??

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Re: Not motivated.. - November 10th 2016, 11:21 AM

Is it possible to talk with someone about your shifts? Or get a letter from your doctor explaining the link between your health and long shifts?

It must be hard on you being away from your home and fiancé for long hours every week. Why do you feel your relationship is fading? Perhaps instead of thinking about how little time you spend time with your fiancé, you can think of ways to make the most of the time you spend together?

If your health is suffering, then it really is worth at looking whether the job is for you. Your health is what matters most here. I understand you want to prove yourself, though how you feel does matter more than what others think. Did you know that you would be getting long hours when you applied for the job? It's good to take into consideration what you want from a job, as well as what you can give, so if long hours aren't for you, there's no shame in that at all.

Hope others can help a bit, since I'm no expert with jobs at all!

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Re: Not motivated.. - November 11th 2016, 06:30 PM

Hi Zara,

I completely understand the struggles of working long shifts. I work 12 hour shift every time I work, so I rarely get to see my dad and friends. I agree with what Celyn has said about talking to your supervisor.

Ultimately, your health is more important than any kind of job. You need to take care of yourself and only yourself. I've had to quit a job before because it was affecting my mental health really bad. I've also had to take a mental health leave. Check your works policies and see if it's possible to take a short leave. Maybe 1-2 weeks.

I really hope you start feeling better. Being depressed at work is never fun. I'm thinking of you and am here for you if you need anything.

Stay Strong,

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stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”

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Re: Not motivated.. - November 11th 2016, 11:39 PM

Them scheduling you for longer shifts might be an indication that they like you and want you to succeed at the job. However, if you talked to them during the hiring process about only being able to work 6 hour shifts then they should be complying with that and they should have discussed you taking on longer shifts before implementing that change. I would suggest that you talk to your supervisor about your shift hours and see if something can be worked out.

If the job is completely messing with your health then I would suggest getting a note from your doctor documenting that and giving it to your supervisor and request that they give you less hours. Usually places are required to reasonably accommodate their workers or that is how it is in the United States.

As for time spent with your Fiance, I think you should try and make the most out of the time you do have together. Try and do fun things together, play games, go window shopping etc. Sometimes people aren't able to spend as much time with their significant other as they'd like and so they have to do what they can with the time they are given. It can take time but you can definitely make it work for you.

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Re: Not motivated.. - November 13th 2016, 07:15 PM

You mentioned doctors. Are you seeing a therapist? I'm not sure apart from your admitting it, but it seems like the majority of the reason you feel overwhelmed is because you're depressed. I really suggest going to a therapist if you're not. Depression can make you feel really burned out, and overburden your with stress. You mention that you're barely home. How many hours a week do you work?

Also, in terms of your fiance, you shouldn't be worried about growing apart. If you love each other, you'll get through this. It's just a rough patch. I go to school in the evenings, and my fiancee works through the day. We've been together for almost 5 years (engaged the last .5 years). Point being, you'll get through it. Feeling otherwise might just be separation anxiety.

Let me know if you need someone to talk to.

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