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ChanValerie8024 Offline
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Pressure from Mom? - November 19th 2016, 01:09 AM

Hi, this is a Secondary 1 student from Hong Kong. I'm 12.
My parents have pretty high expectations for me. I just received my first exam report card, and I was first in class and 5th in the grade (128 ppl in a grade.) Though they seemed happy, I don't think they were really satisfied,as they told me to work harder and they said that they will push me harder.
My mom often compares me to the brightest kids in the school, and tells me how brilliant they are. She pushes me so hard these days that I cried in school yesterday to just let go of the pressure.
Sometimes my mom says things that hurt me a lot, such as ' you got first place? But did you earn it yourself?' without realizing it. I've already talked to my class teacher (homeroom?) about it. She cares about me a lot.
I know that my mom tries to help me a lot, but sometimes I just want to enjoy myself and let go of the pressure, but I still want to satisfy my mom. What can I do?
P.S Talking to my mom about this is useless. She literally calls it "talking back", and here in Hong Kong parents are allowed to hit their children. Typical mom.

(Sorry 4 terrible english and long post)
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Re: Pressure from Mom? - November 19th 2016, 01:26 AM

Hello there, and welcome

Your English is fine and your post wasn't long at all. I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to you. Your mom sounds a lot like my dad. He also doesn't listen, so trying to tell him anything feels like a waste of time. I know he means well, but the pressure he puts on me doesn't help and goes too far. The thing I finally learned is that my best is all I can do, and if he's not okay with that, then he's the one with the problem, not me.

Your best is all you can do and it is good enough. Be proud of doing the best you can, and if your mom wants to be unhappy about it, then it's not about you.

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Re: Pressure from Mom? - November 19th 2016, 09:03 AM

I can only reiterate with the above poster. If you know you are doing everything you can, then that is the very best you can do and you are working as hard as you need to. Be proud of everything you are doing, because you are getting a good grade card anyway and personally I think your results are amazing. If your parents are unhappy with it, then that is their problem, not yours because you are working to the best of your abilities. Perhaps you could try explaining that to them in a calm and measured way, just to present to them your side of the story, as it might help them see they are stressing you out.

Best of luck, and keep positive! You are doing great!

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