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Hard decisions - March 19th 2017, 04:49 PM

Hi everyone,
first I'd like to say sorry for the very long post. :') I actually have two problems, one regarding my current situation at school and another regarding my future school.
The first one is that I'm feeling more and more awkward in my class that I've known for 3 years. I've always been a bit different from them in the sense of studying, but the end-of-the-school exams that are coming soon have made the distinction even more visible. My whole class focuses mainly on studying: they take every single grade so seriously that it's driving me crazy. Everyone is squealing (literally!) if they get a good grade like it was the most important thing in the world. The atmosphere got so tense, people are just looking at each other's performance and how to get benefits for themselves. My friends have always been obsessed with studying, but now we haven't even met outside school for a few months because they are studying for the exam.
I'm finishing this school in June, but I don't want these 3,5 months left to look like that. I feel so bad in this class, like I don't belong there. I'm just a different kind of person, I don't worry about the future that much. I sometimes want to tell them in the face: 'you've only been studying for your whole life, what if you died now? What would be the last thing you thought of? A good grade from Maths you got recently?'... It's just incomprehensible for me...

My second problem is choosing high school. I am able to choose between a normal programme for high schools in my country or IB (International Baccalaureate). I'd really love to get an ib, but I'm worrying that the people there might turn out the same like my current class (only studying). I'd like to be able to go out or travel somewhere with my friends. Of course I don't wanna say that only swots will choose ib, but since it's a very exclusive programme such a thought kinda scares me.

Thank you very very much for reading. <3
Sue



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Re: Hard decisions - March 19th 2017, 06:36 PM

Hey,
Sorry to hear you're stuck in your class at the moment. I don't know how to help you with you with the first problem, sorry. But I can talk about the second problem since I've dont the IB.
So IB is challenging. No way around it. Yes your social life MAY be restricted. I personally didn't go out much, but that was more because I wasn't comfortable going out to do drugs and I was more focused on staying healthy. My friends however, some of whom got into Ivy League Universities, went out to parties nearly every weekend. The thing about the IB is that if you avoid procrastination you'll be fine. I had that as an issue since I had undiagnosed ADHD at the time. IB is a selective program but you meet people of all times. I've met people who just studied to those who didn't study at all.
Hope that makes sense?
PM if you wanna talk about IB.


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Re: Hard decisions - March 19th 2017, 08:29 PM

Hi Seamair,

It sounds like your friends are really stressed out about their exams. I'm like you, by the way, in not particularly fretting about grades. It's nice to have that kind of freedom (and I think we're right, because how many people have you heard about who did badly in school and then went on to be either perfectly fine, or unusually successful in life? They definitely pop up from time to time!) but don't people get stressed at exam time?

My suggestion: say to your currently-stressed friends that you're making a point of having a party/going for a day-trip somewhere/having a get-together and picnic in the nearest nice park to celebrate the end of the exams, and who wants to join in? Since they're fretting so much, I'm thinking you might want to be the person of the group who reminds everybody to chill, and give them a specific date to do it.

How does that sound?

It'll probably be best to suggest the gathering for after the exams, because stressed people don't usually like to relax, since they've got something to be stressed about. The exams are something that will pass, so let the last of the exams (or just the majority of them) pass and then have a get-together.

Give everyone something to look forward to, and let 'em know you care about them enough to understand they're stressed and that this needs to be soothed. And it gives them something to look forward to after the exams, which is always nice.

Hope that helps!
   
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