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Stingerorange Offline
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Feel like I wasted my first year of uni? - June 20th 2017, 07:09 AM

So while First year was happening and I was living on campus, I was dealing with some issues. As a result, I wasn't exactly very social, spending most of my time in my rooms and not being so social with people on my floor and did not go out much. It's near the end and looking back, I feel like i've wasted my first year and an extension, a part of my youth and fear I might severely regret it. What can I do?

Last edited by Fading Light.; June 21st 2017 at 11:49 PM. Reason: Moving to a more specific forum. :)
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Re: Feel like I wasted my first year of uni? - June 20th 2017, 07:57 AM

Hey there and welcome

As much as we may regret or wish we could have do overs, we can't go back. The best thing you can do is realize that you regret not being more social and work on it next year. Also, if you have concerns that could benefit from professional help, there's no shame in seeking it. You can't redo this year, but you get more chances.

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Re: Feel like I wasted my first year of uni? - June 20th 2017, 12:16 PM

Hey there (and welcome to TeenHelp!)

As you said, you were dealing with issues. It can be difficult to be social when you are struggling with things, and many people find that they withdraw from socialising at times. While you can't change the past, you can always learn from it. If you struggled with things and withdrew from socialising then perhaps if you notice similar things again, you can get support like counselling or talk to your friends about how you feel.

It's not a waste of your first year. You were struggling, which can make socialising difficult. If you learn from how you weren't coping, you can make changes for the future so that you try to socialise rather than withdraw when things get difficult.

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Re: Feel like I wasted my first year of uni? - June 20th 2017, 02:21 PM

Although I didn't have personal problems, I wasn't very social either. I went out and did things because I wanted to try new things but in the end I spent a lot of time away from people and in my room. Although I made some friends, I never spent much time with them except one friend in particular and even then it was either once a week or once every 2-3 weeks, sometimes not even that.

Even though I've spent time with them, I feel like I'm at the mercy of waiting for them to be free, and even then my introvert nature of wanting to be alone, yet wanting to have friends kicks in and I just ended up spending my time by myself. I may not have spent as much time around others as I could have, but it doesn't mean I can't in the future, just like it doesn't mean you can't either.

I never talked to my flatmates much, I rarely did anything social with them and I most certainly didn't go out anywhere with them. This doesn't mean it's the end of the world, it doesn't mean it is for you either.

Each year brings new people into our lives along with new opportunities. I know next year I'm going to be trying different societies now that I realise the kind of things I want to do - being outdoors. And I also know that although I'll be living in halls again next year, it will especially mean I'll get new flatmates too. This will be the same for you. You will get new opportunities to meet people, spend time around them and make great new friends.

Usually universities have a counsellor who students can talk to whenever they need. If you're struggling with personal problems or even just workload, track down their email and write out what's going on, or visit the student services building direct and see what your options are.

Life is for living, not for losing.
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Re: Feel like I wasted my first year of uni? - June 21st 2017, 01:09 PM

It's not too late to make up for the lost opportunity. Make friends. Interact with your peers. They can help make your college life less stressful and enjoyable.
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