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Nika_714 Offline
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I need confidence - October 5th 2017, 03:49 AM

Soooo confidence... I trait that I have been trying to develop for a long time. The thing is I have always been scared to present in front of a class. And the thing that bothers me so much is that after a long pep talk I feel like I'm ready but the moment I walk up front all my confidence evaporates into thin air. I think my main problem is that I'm scared of other peoples opinion. I always think if i look okay or not, is my hair a mess and stuff like that. I also have this Russian accent, its not bad but I still am self cautious about if I sound weird or if people don't understand me. I also stutter when I'm nervous. Most say that my accent is cute and that they can understand me, I just need to build confidence and speak up. That keeps me going, I also start to understand that I don't stutter if I'm confident. I try to always walk out of the house thinking that I am beautiful and EVERYONE has their own flaws and that is what makes us all special. I try to workout or go on walks because that also helps me build self confidence. But one of the biggest things that helps me is thinking that we just have one life and do I really wanna live my life closed in? If you make a mistake that doesn't mean your terrible, it just shows that your human and that without mistakes you wouldn't have been who you are because we learn from mistakes and try to become better. If you are scared of what people think of you just remind yourself that they also have ALOT of flaws and that you couldn't care less about what they think. If come out there and show that you are proud of being you and you have no reason to be ashamed people will respect you and look up to you because they are struggling with the same thing, they are scared of other peoples opinions, they are self cautious about the way they look, they are scared to show their flaws. Be the light, show others that if someone does judge you remember that an opinion coming from that person doesn't matter because that us the ugliest person in the world because their hard is made of cold stone. If you show kindness to other people they will start paying attention and see what an amazing and beautiful person you are inside. One thing I want to make clear is that there is a fine line between self confidence and cockiness. People that are self confident don't raise themselves up by putting another person down. Self confidence is fimding out how beautiful and amazing you are and how you can do so many things if you just put your mind to it, think positive, put in effort, and have stamina. Self confidence is someone you not only raises himself up but someone who helps others find out their true beauty, strenght and passion. Confident people not only stand up to show how awesome they are but stand up for others to show their inner beauty. If you are kind to people they will see how beautiful you are. So never give up and keep going. Confidence will not come to you over night you will have to keep going day by day finding something great in yourself everyday and building that confidence in you. Mean people only show how ugly they are inside no matter how pretty they look on the outside. I'm not saying to stop caring how you are on the outside, makeup, dress up, woekout, get yourself in shape, do anything you like just remember to show your beautiful personality and beauty no matter how down you feel. Because everyone is BEAUTIFUL no matter how they look on the outside if they have a beautiful heart they will be the most charming person in the world. This is not all I wanted to say but I'm tired of typing. I know that I have just helped build my self confidence but I would be really grateful for anymore advice because I still struggle sometimes. I hope this helped to build someone's self confidence. Thanks for reading this long thread God bless��
P.s. ugh I know this is weird but I don't know how to delete this so don't judge

Last edited by Nika_714; October 5th 2017 at 04:05 AM.
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Celyn Offline
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Re: I need confidence - October 8th 2017, 09:11 PM

Sorry for the late reply!

It's not weird at all to be feel like you don't have confidence in presenting to the class. It's a common problem (I have felt this way too!) but like other skills, it can be developed!

Getting anxious before a presentation can be common. Anxiety can affect our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Your anxious thoughts suggests that you worry about what others think of you- from your appearance to your accent. Perhaps it might help to remember that others most likely aren't judging you at all as they may be thinking about other things, or focusing on the topic you are presenting. You can also try thinking of the worst case scenario- even if your hair were messy and you did stammer, what would be the worst that would happen? I'm sure that not many people would notice as many people may go through the same feeling as you and may have similar worries. By challenging the negative thoughts, you may feel a bit calmer. Try focusing on what you are presenting and ignoring any negative thoughts that may enter. You can also try to steady your breathing before you present and remind yourself that you've put all the hard work in and will do well in the presentation!

You've definitely got the right idea with walking out of the house and thinking you are beautiful, as well as going for walks and remembering that we only have one life. Though our fears can feel awful, they may also be out of proportion to what would actually happen. Everyone makes mistakes and has flaws, and in a way, we are all similar in that we worry about these things, but it doesn't mean we should let what we or others perceive as our flaws to get in the way of trying to be the best that we can.

Mostly though, others shouldn't act on any judgements they may have about us. And if they do, it's likely that they are putting you down to make themselves feel better.

You've done a lot of thinking and it's great that it's helped to build up your confidence in general, and I hope that this spills into your presentations as well. You can also try practicing presentations in front of a mirror or to friends and family which can also boost your confidence in this area

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Abbidabbidoo Offline
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Re: I need confidence - October 8th 2017, 09:58 PM

Oh My I it is not weird at all and I think many have suffered with this same problem over there lifetime. I know I sure have through my young life. I always lacked confidence in whenever I had to present something in front of my peers. I now do online school so I don't have to do that unless i have to present a project to my Teacher Mentor but that is just one person. It is always hard to get up in front of your peers and speak and I even think if you even ask some people who are popular like Celebrities they would even say the same thing. Just look how nervous they get when they have to present an award or accept an award at those shows and those people are use to being in the movies and television. So what you are going through isn't weird even though it does bring on anxiety, really I don't know if there is any magical way to completely get over this sort of anxiety. I know I have never succeeded at it. Somehow though when I have to do it I always make it through it and sure it may not be a perfect speech or presentation, but heck I am not a professional presenter or speaker. That is what I think gets me through it. I know I am not going to be perfect and that is the way it is going to be. If people don't like it than I think to myself in a few days no one will remember my presentation anyway. It at least gets me through it. Sorry that my post isn't a cure all because I really don't think there is one, but setting your mind a certain way can surely help.
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Hanna Banana Offline
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Re: I need confidence - October 10th 2017, 07:59 PM

Definitely not a weird question or thing your experiencing at all. I suffer from this as I imaging many other do as well. I can easily stand within a group of friends and shoot the shit and be totally fine but once it has to do with presenting something in front of a class or reading from a chapter in a book in class I totally clam up and get really quiet and I think every other word that comes out of my mouth is the word "Um". It is the fear of messing up and lacking confidence in yourself. I can prepare for hours and hours and hours and have the presentation down like the back of my hand but it is something about getting in front of people that just throws all that out the window. The same for me goes when I take a test. I can prepare for a test and once that test paper hits my desk I clam up. They call it Test Anxiety. I suppose you and I also have some sort of presentation anxiety as well. To be honest I have no clue how to get over it. I have tried meditation and that has helped a little with the Test Anxiety, deep breathing as well. My school has also giving me the option with the Special Educator that works with me on taking test in a separate room as well taking test verbally with the teacher. For presentations though I don't know how that would work unless the teacher allowed you to video tape your presentation and then present it that way to the teacher.

"Every challenge is an opportunity to prove to the world that you are, Extraordinary."~ Lzzy Hale of Halestorm
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