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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
dizzythoughts Offline
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Post Not good enough - June 12th 2018, 08:16 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm just always sad right now. We do tests that are marked out of 30 each half term and then a bigger one that is marked out of 60 at the end of each term, and then at the end of a school year we do a test that determines what class level we will be in the next year and that final test covers everything we have done that year. In my school the level classes are called 'sets'. Set 1- smartest, Set 2- Still very good, Set 3- in the halfway mark of intelligence so still can be smart but not as smart, Set 4- Not very good can be improved, Set 5- For people with learning disabilities or disabilities in general. In maths, i am in set 3. In a half term we did last christmas i got 13/30. The scores in my test weren't very high ( the highest being about 19 ), it was quite a difficult test for all of us and we all believe we didnt have enough time for it but still. And with previous tests were kinda hard to. Anyway my teacher rang various different students' parents in my class to tell them about their test scores. My teacher called my mum and was saying it wasnt a very good score even though, in lessons i am understanding the work and high marks on homeworks. She did however say if i dont start improving, i might move down to set 4. My class is very disruptive and thats another story but set 4 is quite worse and i DO NOT want to go there next year. I also have no friends in that class. Since that phone call ive just been so stressed and sad. I have stress headaches everyday. I have my end of year test in 3 weeks and i have to start revising everything we have done this year, i have a very bad time remembering things like these and that is mainly one of the reasons i do not so good in tests. I started revising for my recent half term test and it was suprisingly not that hard. I made some stupid mistakes or did working out wrong and i scored 16/30 in that test, so a slight improvement but i was hoping to get higher as i was confident. I was absent today and my friend had told me when she got home, in class my teacher said she wasnt very happy again with alot of our scores and quite a few of us could potentially be moving down and we need to really try harder and start revising for this end of year test in 3 weeks. Now i told my parents my test score yesterday and they said its still not good enough you arent revising enough, i had revised loads but that doesnt mean all of it is going to stay in my brain but i really did try my best. Then they start scaring me about my gcses and then i start preparing myself to fail because of all of these expectations. I genuinley cant handle this anymore i just constantley feel like im disappointing everyone and il never satisfy anyone. I myself am not completely happy with my results but i tried and im proud i didnt get 0. I just want them to be proud and happy for my effort and i want to talk to them about it but i cant without breaking down into tears because im very emotional. I'm sorry for my punctuation and spelling in this. Someone please help me i seriously cant handle this anymore i just want to give up and i have 3 years left of highschool (UK).
   
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Re: Not good enough - June 12th 2018, 08:35 PM

Hi. I am so sorry that you are having a very difficult time. Maybe I can help you though. So first off you need to know that measuring someone's results is never ever a sign of intelligence. In fact, you can only get better by making errors and learning from them. Sometimes it takes people much longer. So here is what you can do:

I. First off, you don't need to worry. You are at a very early stage in life and even though teachers want to seem important and make you believe that you will ruin your life if you don't do well in school, what they are saying is nonsense. You are in School not to preform but to learn and you can only learn by doing mistakes and learning from them. No one improves by only getting As and never making mistakes!

II. Try to find your weaknesses in your tests and results and whatever you are not happy with. Ask yourself, what is missing from making this result better?

III. Practice, practice, practice it may take a while for improvements to show, but they will come if you keep practicing.

IV. Always remember to take breaks and treat yourself when necessary. Don't be too hard on yourself!

I hope I was able to give you a bit more hope. If you need anything else, just send me a PM or ask and I'll do my best to help
   
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Re: Not good enough - June 13th 2018, 06:00 AM

Thank you for the support
   
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Re: Not good enough - June 13th 2018, 01:48 PM

Hey there (and welcome to TeenHelp!)

I'm from the UK so I understand how the sets work. It's something I'm not too fond of as it's easy to think of the higher sets as people who are more intelligent than the lower sets, and we can fall into the trap of automatically assuming that anyone in the lower sets will struggle and not do well. The point of sets was originally so that everyone can get the level of work and support they need to do well. It doesn't have anything to do with intelligence as some people in the higher sets may struggle with other subjects and some people in lower sets may do better in other subjects. Try to think of it as a way of helping you to succeed, rather than feeling like you aren't good enough

It seems like you cope with the work in class and do well in homework, but struggle with remembering things when it comes to tests? That's actually more common than you might realise! I'm wondering what you do for revision?

As it's been said, it's good to work out what areas you are strongest in and what areas need improving so that you can spend more time focusing on the things you struggle with. Though it's still good to revise all areas too. It might also help to keep revision sessions short but frequent. For example, instead of doing 1 hour of revision, try doing 20-30 minutes of revision with a break and then another 20-30 minutes afterwards. This helps to keep you focused rather than feeling bored and getting distracted.

It's also good to remember that revision doesn't mean just reading over your work. Perhaps try making notes and writing them out again, highlighting things in different colours to help with memory, making mindmaps or flashcards and testing yourself on things. With maths in particular, you can use websites like BBC bitesize to learn and test yourself in maths. You can also use past papers if you have any or ask friends/relatives to test you on things.

As for tests themselves, you may find it helpful to focus on the questions you do know first, so that you can spend time on the more challenging questions. If you don't know the answer, it's always good to give it a try as you may get marks for workings out. And if you have time left at the end of the test, try to go over the questions and see if you made any mistakes.

Maybe you can talk to your parents and let them know that you are revising but maybe they can help you in some way? Parents and teachers can sometimes put pressure on us to do well without realising that we feel more stressed and more worried about failing. Perhaps you can ask them to be a bit more encouraging instead?

Try not to think in terms of failure. When we start convincing ourselves that we will fail, we may not realise it, but we may make less of an effort, or find revision even harder because we feel frustrated when things don't go well as if we have 'proved' that we will fail. Instead, try to think of what you are doing now and how you can improve on that, whether that means changing how you revise, spending more time on certain areas in maths, or reaching out for help if you don't understand something.

As it's been said, you are still young and early in your schooling. Whatever mistakes you make now, aren't failures, they are learning curves as you can always improve. Even with GCSEs, there are re-sits and second chances!

You're not disappointing anyone. Your teachers and parents want you to do well, but they may forget that sometimes the pressure can make things worse. I notice you mention that you are proud you didn't get 0, and I'm wondering if maybe you have low expectations of yourself? It might help to look at past test scores and see what you are averaging. That way then you can pleased when you reach your average, and even more pleased when you are above your average! This thinking might help you to feel better about things, rather than thinking 'at least I didn't get a 0'.

It's good that you want to talk to your parents about this, and it's okay if you get emotional. It shows that you are trying your best and that the stress is getting to you, and you want help. If you find talking about it emotional, maybe you can write a note instead? Your parents may approach you about it afterwards and it's okay to be a bit emotional, but writing may help you to say what you want to say.

Lastly, don't forget self-care too. It's always good to balance work with something we find relaxing and enjoyable to help boost our mood.

No need to apologise for your punctuation and spelling- we are here to help you not judge you!

Best of luck with your test


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Re: Not good enough - June 17th 2018, 10:46 PM

Thanks very much its nice to know you understand
   
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