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Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 06:28 AM

School makes me so down that I can't stop missing lessons. I'm going to 2 out of the 5 lessons today. I just can't take it and the teachers making me talk doesn't help. What the hell am I meant to do?! They know that I don't like talking or working in groups but they insist that I do it when I'm ready to break into tears. The only lesson I go to is maths because I can do it and get on with the work without the teacher harassing me.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 06:41 AM

Hi Faith, I can understand how you're feeling.
I'm not the best for my attendance at school this year.
I know that you've said that teachers making you talk doesn't help, but i'd really recommend trying to talk to your teachers again and just be honest with them, tell them how you're feeling. I have a feeling that you're needing some self-motivation (I know that I have a problem with that regarding school, I dont know whether you're the same). Tell them that you would rather work alone, if that's alright, and tell them that it really affects you badly when you have to work in groups. I know it can be hard, i'm not one for working in groups either. I think that maybe the school is just trying to get you to "fit in" with their own working style more?
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 06:50 AM

I don't know what I'm meant to say though, there's nothing more I can say than what I already have. I've tried talking with them and saying that I can't deal with working in groups but then they make it even worse by making us do presentations in front of the class. I've missed so many lessons in Philosophy it's unbelievable. Just feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall with this, my form tutor knows aswell but she hasn't done anything so what else am I supposed to when no one listens?


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 07:02 AM

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Originally Posted by *Faith* View Post
I don't know what I'm meant to say though, there's nothing more I can say than what I already have. I've tried talking with them and saying that I can't deal with working in groups but then they make it even worse by making us do presentations in front of the class. I've missed so many lessons in Philosophy it's unbelievable. Just feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall with this, my form tutor knows aswell but she hasn't done anything so what else am I supposed to when no one listens?
If I was in your position, i'd go back to your teachers one more time and tell them sternly that you find it hard to do presentations/work in groups, and try to come to a compromise (e.g. you will still write a presentation/powerpoint but you don't want to perform it). The problem for the teacher is that other pupils may ask "why doesn't she have to do it, when I do?" so it's understandable that you're having a few problems with this, but I don't think that avoiding it is the right idea. You need to try and conquer it or to find a compromise. I'd suggest, if going back to your teacher doesn't work, that you go to someone "higher up" (head of department, headteacher) and sharing your thoughts with them. I know it feels like no one listens, but it's a difficult situation, and if you keep going back then it will be more likely for the situation to become resolved.
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 07:09 AM

Problem being that my anxiety of speaking has gotten even worse that I can barely speak to teachers or just hold a rational conversation with them. Hurts to even say 'yes' in the register. With all the group work and presentations it's really taken a hit with my anxiety and depression.
I know I could write them a note and just leave it on the desk but I know that they'll come find me in lessons or talk to me at the start of lesson and make me more worried.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 07:23 AM

Are your teachers aware of your depression and anxiety? I know that you shouldn't feel obliged to tell them if they're not aware, but I think that maybe that could possibly help the situation a little. You're right, I was going to suggest writing a letter. I know that you fear that they will talk to you about the letter, but remember - you could always ask them to write back at the end with any questions, rather than talking.
Are you getting any talking therapy for your depression and anxiety? I know that you've said that it's hard to talk, which is natural with these problems, but I would suggest talking to your therapist/counsellor if you have one about this, if you do.
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 07:28 AM

I don't have a therapist or anything. I've gone to my doctor but he doesn't think I need to speak to anyone and I've tried about 3 different doctors and they've all said the same thing. School counsellors don't exactly know how to deal with this either and I don't find them very useful. The teachers know that I have anxiety problems and they know I struggle to complete the homework because I'm depressed but they don't seem to pay attention to that and load me up in class with homework. I've asked for extensions but it just doesn't work. It's impossible to get them to listen. I'm also quite scared that this letter might get into the wrong hands or they start informing my parents because I know that'll end badly.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 07:42 AM

I know that it's hard but "if at first you don't succeed, try and try again". Visit your doctor again, tell them how this is affecting you. Tell them that you've been to three doctors and you feel like it's serious enough for you to ask and need this help. Give your school counsellor one more chance, there's nothing to lose. Hand the letter to your teachers. Mention that you want it to be kept confidential. I know that that fear of your parents finding out may be scary for you, but something needs to be done about it and telling your teachers how you're feeling about school and work is the only way to try and sort it out.
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 09:59 AM

They know something's up already because my grades are slipping with all the group work. So that's as far as I want to let them in right now. I tried the school counsellor again today and they just gave me the response of 'there's nothing I can do to help you, you have to do this yourself'. I'll try and write the letter over the weekend, trouble is I don't know what to say in it. I'm just lost for words.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 10:11 AM

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Originally Posted by *Faith* View Post
They know something's up already because my grades are slipping with all the group work. So that's as far as I want to let them in right now. I tried the school counsellor again today and they just gave me the response of 'there's nothing I can do to help you, you have to do this yourself'. I'll try and write the letter over the weekend, trouble is I don't know what to say in it. I'm just lost for words.
I know it can be hard, but you do have to do some of this yourself, but I do believe that you do deserve a bit of extra help from the teachers, too. I know that it's going to be hard to write that letter, but the benefits from it will surely make it worth it. Just tell them what you've said here, just sit and write what is processing in your mind, don't even think about what you're writing, if that makes sense, transfer directly from mind to paper, then you can make amendments after.
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 10:24 AM

I guess, I could but when I put mind to paper I just get random words that I can't forumlate into sentences. Plus I'd just be repeating myself and I don't think it'd go through their thick skulls.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 11:59 AM

heh when i was in high school i skipped a lot of classes...
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 12:03 PM

I can see where the school are coming from because you almost certainly will have to work in some sort of team if/when you get a job outside of education and they are trying to help you prepare. Presentations can be daunting, perhaps if you can't tell them you should get a letter off the doctor together with your parents addressed to the headteacher asking that you have no part in presentations and/or groupwork.

Also in a group you can most of the time do work on your own and report back (this tends to be the case at university where your group usually gets together only for meetings.

Skipping lessons isn't the way to go trust me, I've tried that and did badly because of it
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 01:45 PM

I know it's going to have a bad affect on my future but it really does seem like my only option. My folks think I'm just being a baby so they won't do anything about it and that's the same with my doctor so I have no one to back me up. Our group work is usually only for the lesson though so I can't do my own thing, I have to work and communicate.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 16th 2009, 08:20 PM

Your teachers are not trying to harass you. They're only trying to prepare you for the world, and it's not their fault they're trying to do their jobs. So you need to meet them halfway and talk to someone about this problem. Your parents need to know. Tell them you have a bad anxiety problem/depression that's affecting your ability to go to classes and succeed, and tell them you need help. Maybe talk to a school counselor first so they can back you up, maybe they can even help you talk to your parents.

You need help with this, whether you want it or not, because you need to go to school and you need to learn how to handle it. It's going to be ridiculously hard, maybe, but it's something you need to do. If they won't listen at first, keep on telling them. Make sure your doctor knows exactly how badly this problem is affecting your life and your schoolwork. Let him know the details, and explain how much you need help.

I'm sorry this is so hard for you, but you need to talk to someone about it. good luck!

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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 18th 2009, 10:08 AM

Okay, I wrote the letter just can someone just give a verdict on it...?

Sir / miss

I have mentioned this my anxiety and my problems with working to you before but I donít think you fully understand how badly Iím finding it to struggle in class and with homework. My anxiety causes me a lot of trouble when I have to work in classes with others because I find it much more easier to work alone. I do understand that sometimes it is compulsory to work in group i.e for presentations but I would prefer it if I could just perform it alone without the audience of the class, if that is possible?

The same could be said for my depression, I struggle with it a lot and I am trying to get help with it but it has caused a major drop in self motivation meaning that it takes me longer to do homework than the rest of the class. Would it be possible to sometimes give me extensions?


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 18th 2009, 11:18 AM

Black for removal
Red for Additions

These are just suggestions you don't have to take any of them. I have made it into a more formal letter

Dear Sir/missMadam

I have mentioned this that my anxiety and my problems with working to you before but I donít think you fully understand how badly Iím finding it to strugglestruggling in class and with homework. My anxiety causes me a lot of trouble when I have to work in classes with others because I find it much more easier to work alone. I do understand that sometimes it is compulsory necessary to work in group (such as for presentations for example) but I would prefer it if I could just perform it alone without the audience of the class, if that is possible?

The same could be said for my depression, - I struggle with it a lot and I am trying to getgetting help with it but it has caused a major drop in self-motivation meaning which means that it takes me longer to do homework than the rest of the class. Would it be possible to sometimes give me extensions?
Thank you for for reading this

Yours Faithfully
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 03:26 AM

Thank you!

I printed it out so I just hope it works this time.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 04:01 AM

Good luck and hopefully it works.
You never know the teacher may just read your note and acknowledge what you have to say and no more is said about it.
Best of luck to you faith.
<3
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 04:27 AM

Rawr! I don't know if I can do it now. I'm scared of what they're going to say or do.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 05:21 AM

don't be scared, your teacher wants the best for you and for you to get the best possible grade. your letter is perfectly reasonable and not being particularly demanding and certainly not rude, they will appreciate this rather than you just saying to them that you're finding it difficult. a lot of people use reasons like this as an excuse because they are just lazy and don't want to do the work, where as by writing this the teacher can understand that you do actually have a valid reason for feeling the way you do. good luck with it and i hope your teacher is supportive and helpful.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 05:40 AM

I really don't want them to confront me about it though, which they will do because they're not letter writing type people. If that makes sense? Plus I don't know if it'll work because I haven't been diagnosed with either, my doctor things I'll 'grow out of it' apparently so I don't need help of any sort.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 06:39 AM

I suggest you get a second opinion off your doctor if you feel there is something wrong.

You could also put in your letter that you'd prefer it if they were to either write a note back or otherwise not confront you about it. Ultimately you may have to grin and bear it but they are there to help
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 06:47 AM

I've been to three different doctors. One thinks I'm on edge so they're thinking of sending me to some kind of adolscent group therapy but that was months ago and she hasn't came back to me.
Might think about asking them to write something back, he still could confront me in lessons, that's what I'm worried about.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 06:52 AM

If he is professional he will not confront you in lessons but he may ask you to remain behind after a class to talk to you.
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 10:43 AM

I wimped out today after my exam. I just couldn't face going near him incase he started interrogating me, I'll try and pluck up the courage to leave it on his desk in the morning or lunch. It's just scary when you don't like talking about such things.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 10:59 AM

Leave it on the desk at the end of a lesson or slip it under some papers so you can escape immediately
   
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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 11:12 AM

That is an idea, I'll see if I can pluck up the courage to do it tomorrow. It just makes me feel stupid and that I'm trying to find a way to avoid taking part in the class.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 19th 2009, 02:41 PM

I used to do that, I think its best to think why you are mising lessons, and then looking to see if you can resolve it. When I was missing them, the college counsellor managed to sort it out. Maybe you could talk to someone like that? Also, try and not let yourself. Think I'm NOT GOING TO MISS THIS LESSON. You kinda have to make yourself.




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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 20th 2009, 07:33 AM

It didn't work
It didn't work
It didn't work!!

I couldn't give him the letter, I can't stop wimping out. I know I'm going to have to do it I just don't have the courage! Have no energy to go to afternoon registration either so I'm just going to sit about until 2:50 feeling guilty.


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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 20th 2009, 03:17 PM

Try not to worry too much. Send it and then try and forget about it, its better to regret doing something, than regret not doing something.




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Re: Skipping Lessons? - January 20th 2009, 03:36 PM

I guess, I do have them tomorrow that's what I'm worried about so I don't want to give it in then. Not a fan of confrontation.


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