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mixtape Offline
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Unhappy Out of the house and into the dorms - September 13th 2009, 04:16 PM

I recently just moved away from home and into a university dorm room. I am finding it very hard to adjust to this new lifestyle. I have not been eating due to the fact the dining hall is overwhelming. Never made a single friend here, I do everything alone which includes studying, going to class, doing homework, eating, entertainment, etc. It's lonely! People are very nice here however the residence I live in people are a bit older than I. My roomie is nice she is 20, and I am 18. She is always with her friends and does stuff and I stay alone in my room.

I have a social anxiety disorder so asking to hang out with someone is like playing with fire. Going up to anyone or going to events is so loserish because I am always standing by myself. Gah I am such a loser. A lot of clubs and societies here are so hidden that most people do not know about them unless you been here for like 3+ years. How can I manage four years alone?
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heather_tate19 Offline
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Re: Out of the house and into the dorms - September 16th 2009, 03:57 AM

don't worry. I am in a similar boat as you. I'm a freshmen, and the people here are nice, but I am going to a small university away from EVERYONE I know, leaving behind my family and twin sister-who is also my best friend. It's difficult for me to adjust to and I do the same things you do by myself as well-because it seems nobody else here is really into studying like I am. I am lonely too, and really homesick but I'm excited because my family is coming to see me -twin sister included- for parents weekend this weekend.

I was is such a state of homesickness today I couldn't do ANYTHING! not even my homework.

I guess what I'm saying, is that there are probably other people at your school who feel the same.

as for talking to people, it's okay to just walk up to an open door in the dorm room, introduce yourself and see what the other people are up to, I will admit it's probably more difficult in a dorm where there are people who aren't freshmen living there. Otherwise, it's okay to just talk to anyone else who's a freshmen, because they are all freshmen and trying to meet people as well. so, the next time you are in class, say hello to the person sitting next to you and have a short conversation with them- ask about their major, their schedule, what dorm they are in, activities,...etc. this is what I do and how I have made a couple of acquaintances- not quite friends yet.

eventually if there is an event going on-check your school website- you can ask the person sitting next to you if they are going or if they would like to go with you. they might even bring their friends.-once again, this has been used on me, and if your roommate invites you somewhere, you should go along too

as for clubs- they should say something about student organizations on the school website or even at an office building on campus, you should look for a list of those if it is available, but don't be afraid to ask all those upperclassmen you are living with for help- just in case

good luck!
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Cheerio Offline
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Re: Out of the house and into the dorms - September 16th 2009, 04:23 AM


Don't stress. Ok first things first, I live in a dormitory, but I'm only in highschool. It will get better. I always tell people that are having a hard time adjusting to SMILE. When you smile at someone it makes them feel more comfortable and relaxed. I just moved in to my dorm about 3 weeks ago, its my 3rd year dorming. And this year I was really worried about it because all my friends left me except Larrinda. And there are way more new girls here. I don't know if your in mixed housing or single-sex but seriously SMILE.
I suggested this to one of my friends last week from back home and he said it worked alot. Alot of people are just as scared/nervous as you. There are probably a lot of people at your school who are feeling the EXACT same way as you are right now. And when you give them a simple smile it makes them feel like there is someone who cares and isn't full of themselves.
If you smile people will remember your face and they will be more inclined to sit with you in the cafe (even if the foods gross you should try it, sometimes they serve some really good stuff), or walk to classes with you (hey maybe some of them have class with you!), or study with you (I mean they are probably freaking out about the homework too!!), ect.


good luck
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