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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
WashoutThePain Offline
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I Feel Like I'm Gonna Vomit >.< - September 3rd 2010, 03:15 AM

How can I make college less isolating? I am making friends... but like... I feel so like abandoned. And like... so isolated. But like I'm meeting tons of people at the same time..

Could seriously use a hug I miss my parents (and that says something...)

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Moyshi Offline
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Re: I Feel Like I'm Gonna Vomit >.< - September 3rd 2010, 03:44 AM

You're definitely not alone in feeling that way! I can promise you that alot of the students in res are feeling the same way you are right now. In the upcoming weeks you're probably going to still be meeting alot of new people, and you'll be getting to know the college better. Moving away from home is a huge change. It's a big transition, and it takes a while before you get used to it and become more adjusted to your new lifestyle.

After the first couple of months, things usually start to settle down. You'll probably have found a group of friends to hang out with, and it won't be as overwhelming as trying to meet all these people in the first little while. You'll have developed a more daily routine you can follow, etc. It just takes a bit of time for you to get used to living in res.

For now, just try to get out there and meet new people. You never know, they may become a really good friend later on. This is the best time to meet new people and find out who you click with. Most people have just moved away from home for the first time, and are in the exact same position as you! Don't lose the opportunity to meet some great people.

If you're missing family or friends back home, don't hesitate to get in contact with them. If you can't phone them, email or skype is always a good alternative. Having support can make the transition easier. Just keep an open mind, and try and enjoy yourself! And again, remember that everyone is probably feeling the same way as you right now! Just give it some time, and hopefully things get easier for you. :]

Take care.

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
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Re: I Feel Like I'm Gonna Vomit >.< - September 3rd 2010, 04:41 AM

Ditto to Moyshi's entire post.

They may not act like it, but almost every other freshman in your class if feeling homesick, isolated, and lonely! It's good that you're meeting people and making friends. A few or many of them might develop into close friends as the weeks wear on. Try making friends or hanging out with a few people on your hall. It'll be nice to feel like you're coming back to friends or a community at the end of the day.

Once you develop a routine, which might not happen for a month or so, you're start to feel less adrift.

There are ALWAYS things going on on college campuses. Club meetings, poetry readings, movie screenings. Spread yourself around and find out if you like any of the communities you meet. If you keep yourself busy and meeting new people, you'll eventually feel part of something and not on the outside.

Write letters to your hometown or high school friends, skype with your family, ask friends to send you post cards! (I had friends and family send me postcards or 3x5 notecards that they'd decorated however they wanted. I posted them on my wall in a collage so that I felt less alone.)

Best of luck!

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Re: I Feel Like I'm Gonna Vomit >.< - September 5th 2010, 02:08 AM

Yeah dude, that's totally how college just kinda is at first. Definitely keep in touch with your family and people from high school - that can totally help you feel more connected to your "old life." If you haven't already, hang up lots of pictures in your dorm - make it a room that's welcoming and comfortable for you. Otherwise, yeah, keep busy! Schoolwork, going out with friends, TH, do something! Are you going Greek? Join a couple of clubs. As soon as school really gets going, I assure you, there will always be something to study! Haha. I hope things start getting better - I'm sure they will as you get more adjusted to college life. (:

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TakeTheLeap Offline
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Re: I Feel Like I'm Gonna Vomit >.< - September 5th 2010, 07:36 PM

Hey there, Amy!

I had a few suggestions given to me when I first started college, so I'll kind of... pass on that wisdom.
First of all, it's going to take a while for you to get really close to people. I didn't really have any -close- friends til second semester of freshman year, and since then, my few friends and I have become the best of friends. It's because college is so new, and it's a huge adjustment. Once you get used to living away from home, being on your own, having your own study habits, setting up an eating schedule around your classes, etc. it'll become much easier for your acquaintances to become your friends.
Also, once you get into classes dealing with your major, you'll start meeting people of similar interests, which can help in developing more close friendships. All of my "college best friends" are education majors.

You can also start joining some clubs and such once you've adjusted to life on your own. It's a HUGE adjustment, and you can't begin to be ready for everything right away. Get your classes under your belt, and get your schedule settled, then start looking into various groups and activities on campus. I'm sure you have a "Campus Activities Fair" or something similar during the first few weeks of classes. Check that out, find things that go along with your interests, and again, you'll find people who really click with you. I, for instance, met with the campus minister freshman year and started doing work at the Catholic church near the school, and that was helpful for me to find a place where I belonged. I also joined the swim club, German club, and Teachers of Tomorrow. Get involved and talk to people who are getting involved in the same stuff. After club meetings, go out to dinner with some of them and really get to know them. Find people in your classes to go to lunch with after class to socialize. You will find people to get close to.

Also, make sure you don't distance yourself from your family and friends at home. Have pictures hanging of your friends and family from back home. Stay connected on facebook, etc. Text your friends every now and then and see how they're doing in college. Also, talk to your parents. My freshman year, my mom and I would talk every day, sometimes twice a day. Even now that I'm a senior, we still talk almost every night, and if I don't call her, she'll call me. Every Sunday and Monday night after our typical shows come on (our big ones are Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Desperate Housewives, The The Bachelor(ette) and True Beauty), we call and talk to each other about the outcome, what we expect to see the following week, etc. It's just a way for Mom and I to still have our quality time together. Even though you're at college, you don't have to lose the relationships you have with your family and friends back home.

Anyway, my biggest advice is to get adjusted first. Get adjusted to life away from home. Once you feel like you're floating instead of sinking, then start getting yourself out there and meeting people. You -will- start making close friends who will end up becoming your friends for life.

Take care, and let me know if you need anything!

“Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time. You may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be." ~Jon Bon Jovi

Last edited by TakeTheLeap; September 5th 2010 at 07:50 PM.
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