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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Kumagoro Offline
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My mum isn't happy with it... - October 6th 2010, 09:56 AM

OK, so I've nearly finished my UCAS application and the pressure's really building up. I've put down my choices (albeit I changed my mind at the last minute, but I feel much better about it now I have) and my personal statement is well on the way to perfection. But my mum isn't very happy with my "rushing" to get it finished. She says why hurry when the deadline is in January. I told her that some universities can close the doors to their course when they've filled all the places, and I'm scared that Durham or East Anglia are likely to do that because they are competitive universities and they are my first choices. My mum says this isn't fair, they shouldn't do that, but it doesn't change the fact that they might and I think I'm upsetting her just by trying to get a good application in...
I dunno, maybe she's reluctant to see me applying to uni and leaving home and all that. I don't want to argue with her but I know I'm right about this; uni is getting more and more competitive and I can't leave it any longer. What should I do to convince her I'm doing the right thing?

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Re: My mum isn't happy with it... - October 6th 2010, 10:24 AM

Just say something thing along the lines of 'like with most things in life, the sooner it's in the better' but to be honest you don't have to convince her at all, just do it regardless of what she says, because in the end this is your responsibility not hers...
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Re: My mum isn't happy with it... - October 6th 2010, 10:31 AM

Perhaps sitting down and talking with her would be a good idea. Explain your choices to her and have a long talk. If she still objects after that then it's probably best to just get it done without your Mum's support. It's for your benefit not hers and all children must leave home someday.
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Re: My mum isn't happy with it... - October 6th 2010, 09:57 PM

The sooner you send it the better but there is no need to rush it -- make sure you have it right. The medical/dentistry/oxbridge deadline isn't even up yet and nothing will close until end of november.

Also, I got into Durham so if you want any advice about the Uni .. Obv I don't know what you're applying for
I've gone somewhere else though!

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Re: My mum isn't happy with it... - October 8th 2010, 09:49 PM

You're totally right - the earlier you get your application in the better! If it's nearly perfect, then why wait? Sooner is better than later. You'd kick yourself if you left it too late just to keep your mum happy, and then missed out on a place.

Maybe like you said she's just finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that you'll be leaving home soon.

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Re: My mum isn't happy with it... - October 9th 2010, 06:26 AM

I don't see why you need to convince her because the old adage of "the early bird gets the worm" holds true in so many situations, including this one. I think you already explained it to her: it's a competitive place on first-come, first-serve basis so to get in, you should apply early. It also gives you more time to review it since you're not at the deadline.

Instead, it may be the fact she doesn't want you to leave so early due to motherly love, protection and thinking so many things that need to be told/said haven't yet. She probably wants to keep you around and may think you want to go early because you dislike her so much. Convincing her of why you did it is already done, she probably just needs to know you'll be fine, safe, remain in contact and still love her. She may also be questioning whether or not she taught you everything you need to know to succeed. In fact, I think repeating to her that it's a competitive university may make her increase her actions to you.

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Re: My mum isn't happy with it... - October 9th 2010, 06:47 AM

It's good of you to want to get along and be reasonable, but it really is your future, your application and as long as you think it's right and what you want to do simply send it without telling her. A certain amount of healthy rebellion is necessary so that you can seperate from your parents properly. You don't want huge fights or going off the rails, but occassionally doing important things without permission is kind of important. I actually wouldn't have even asked your mother about when to send it in to start with. Just don't let her see you sending it. Once it's gone there's nothing she can do about it.
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Re: My mum isn't happy with it... - October 9th 2010, 10:07 AM

Hey there,

I think you're being really sensible getting your application in early because you're right, some uni's do fill their places super quick. Maybe this is all moving a little too fast for your mum's liking and she just needs a little time to get use to the idea? I agree with you when you said that maybe she's a little
reluctant to see you applying for uni and the thought of you leaving home and everything but I guess that's every parents reaction because you've lived under their roof for so long and they're so use to having you around. Plus, I guess when you're living under their roof they can keep an eye on you all the time but if you aren't there then she'll probably worry about you and worry if you're okay and everything. I think you just have to reassure her that you believe that you're doing the right thing and this is what makes you happy because at the end of the day every parent likes to see their child going after their dreams and doing what makes them happy. Anyway, I hope that your mum starts to come around and good luck!

Take care!

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Re: My mum isn't happy with it... - October 9th 2010, 10:02 PM

Thank you everyone I think it's getting more and more clear that she doesn't want to see me leave, but I got the application in and she helped me with it so it's all good now. This thread can be closed if necessary.

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