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emoky Offline
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hard time in new highschool - September 6th 2015, 11:44 AM

so I've recently moved to a new high school because i moved town, and im having a hard time.
first things first, im a shy kid, even awkward, i just feel like every other shy person that people will laugh at me or stuff like that, i used to care alot more before but now im kinda more relaxed but in still shy, anyways in my last schools i've made "friends" tho they turned out to be laughing at me and i just decided there aren't friends so i was expecting that in this new high school the thing is, i don't think it will happen, i mean i've met people but i don't see them as my friends, mainy becasue i have no friends, apart some people i talk and play a hearthstone with i just can't see it, im one of those kids you meet in the first day of school that if they don't have anything to say, they will just start random small chat and i fucking hate small chat but i have no other way to making relationships, im like "hey, what do we have next lesson?", there like "i think math", im like "oh okay thanks" and they watch their phone until the rest of the break, i try to be as social as i can, some kids i can talk easily with, some i need to thin alot before, i hate people that yell, i can't stand kids in my class yelling in the lesson or in the break, i have no problem with a teacher yelling as long as it's with a point and in a polite way. For alot of time in my life i've always thought i've just not meeting my kind of people but i've realized, it's not the people but me, im just shy, unless you know me for a time, im just gonna try to be friends with you but most people just think im boring and leave, honestly i have no problem of being a loner, to just read a book all the free time, study and go home, but obviously i don't want that, i don't want to be the popular kid of the class, i just want to have 1 or 2 friends i can talk and have fun with, about girls, not even a question, that's not going to happen anytime soon... im just so worried how people like me manage to live in a world that if your shy, your literally going to drown in society, i realize most people eventually learn how to live without fear of others thoughts but it just really scares me, i could write alot more details and go on for pages but i just want someone to hear me, i don't want to write a book.
   
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Re: hard time in new highschool - September 8th 2015, 03:01 AM

hey! what your saying is totally understandable.. Being independent is totally okay. People are so rude and annoying sometimes.. I used to be really shy but now i am super friendly and outgoing and now i never shut up. I got tired of being shy and wanted to start talking to more people. I think one of the best things to do is to find someone that you feel like you could get along with. Maybe find someone that is just as shy as you are, or maybe find someone that looks lonely and is struggling. If you find someone like that you know that they are going to genuinely appreciate you and your friendship. Good luck!!!!!
   
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Re: hard time in new highschool - September 8th 2015, 11:49 AM

I'm home educated, which means I've never been to school, and socialise with a different type of person. School culture and the way it shapes most kids/teens (in Britain at least) I find very worrying. I know exactly what you mean when you say you don't like the way kids shout and stuff- I've tried talking to people like that and I'm sorry to say they are utterly warped and beyond sense. It sounds like you're more like me, who can see mind corruption since you are a bit of an outsider.

DON'T LET THEM WEAR YOU DOWN.

I went to a Scout camp once and it was full of people like that and I couldn't connect with hardly anyone and it made me question my values and behaviour- was I weird, instead of them?

Looking back I know it was them. If you really can't connect with anyone (do try!) then don't worry too much. It will be hard being an outsider, but DON'T LET THEM WEAR YOU DOWN. Confidently stay yourself and perhaps look online for like minded people. (Home schooled teens will very probably be happy to talk)
   
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Re: hard time in new highschool - September 8th 2015, 12:04 PM

Oh and as madisyn21 says, try finding other shy people. If there are other kids in your class or whatever who are behaving like you have been or not talking much, on their own, quiet, ignored etc. then try talking to them. They're probably in a similar situation to you, they would like to talk but are being ignored. Good luck!
   
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Re: hard time in new highschool - September 8th 2015, 01:34 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear you're having a bit of a difficult time in this new high school. Moving and going to a new school can take some time to adjust to. It can be challenging to make new friends, especially if you're someone who opens up more once they really get to know someone. I have a few suggestions for you though!

First, as much as you said you hate small talk, that is normally the first way to really build a foundation and get to know others. It can be quite intimidating to meet new people, but while small talk is pretty pointless at times, but it will sometimes give you the opportunity to branch off into an actual conversation once the two people have established a bit of comfort between them. If you're asking questions, try to ask open ended questions, not something that can be answered with a yes or a no. And, for example, you could always try adding a little bit more onto your replies. (Ex. "What do we have next lesson?" "I think math." "Oh, okay thanks. I'm still getting used to this school's schedule.") What I just added in to that conversation wasn't too much personal information, but it could also spark a question from the other person if they were open to it. They may ask you where your last school was, when you moved, etc. This could eventually lead to an actual, more meaningful conversation.

As others have posted before me, perhaps look for others who have similar personalities to you. They may be very open to getting to know you. Another option could be to join a school club or activity. If there's something that interests you, although it can seem scary or lame, just try it out! Going to something like this can help you meet like-minded individuals who may share the same interests as you. Which can definitely help to build a friendship.

If you're looking to branch out into meeting people in your new community, you can always look to volunteer. Or if you're old enough and interested in getting a job, this can also be a great place to meet new people.

Being shy isn't always a bad thing. It can make you feel very independent which is a great quality to have. I say try to find ways to feel more at ease and comfortable with yourself. When you talk to others, try to come across as confident with yourself and what you're saying, even if you don't feel it inside. And hey, many rewarding and great accomplishments start with the decision to go outside your comfort zone. Take some chances and put yourself out there no matter how scary it is, and your work will pay off eventually!

I hope this helps a bit. Good luck!
Take care. :]


A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
   
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Re: hard time in new highschool - September 8th 2015, 10:02 PM

Try reading Popular: Vintage wisdom for the modern day geek, by Maya Van Waggenen
   
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