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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TheWhiteTornado Offline
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Need help forgiving myself - August 5th 2009, 03:29 AM

I have a tendency to be extremely critical of myself and I can never seem to let anything stupid that I do go. Does anyone else seem to do this or have any advice on how to calm myself down?

I'm not saying this about anything in particular but if I say or do something that's hurtful to a friend I can never let it go (etc.).


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: Need help forgiving myself - August 5th 2009, 03:34 AM

I do the same thing...oh so very often.
i don't think there's any sort of "cure" for it, but I can tell you what I do to cope. Anytime I regret mentioning something, etc., I talk about it with the person and make sure they understand my intentions. I also basically apologize, even though it's never been something they've been upset about (it's always in my head).
I also have one really good friend who is just as critical as me, and he's fun to be around, because we can spend time airing our grievances about ourselves and mankind.
Also, I run to relieve stress if I feel truly wrong or bad.
Good luck and I hope I've helped


how nice- to feel nothing but still get credit for being alive
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Re: Need help forgiving myself - August 5th 2009, 03:36 AM

Thanks for the respond and I'm sure that'll be useful.
Forgot to say though, that was just an example. I'm just wondering if there was anything I could do or think that would make me accept myself when I make mistakes.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: Need help forgiving myself - August 5th 2009, 03:41 AM

Hey Jack I do the same thing and its really hard to get over. I find that we really our a worse critic.

I try to think that I cant change the past so im not going to dwell on it. Try thinking of it as yea I messed up I cant belive I did that im really sorry I did it but its happened and its over with im moving on if you rhurt somebody apologize and forget it happen try not to live with regrets. I know thats really really hard but I think people really are happier when they live with no regrets.


   
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Re: Need help forgiving myself - August 5th 2009, 03:58 AM

You seem to be the kinda of person who tends to be blunt more than most people, and I used to hate the negativity I received from that and even how I felt bad about it sometimes. But then I realized that if no one else says things the way they are, they won't ever be known. I learned to just cope and like myself the way I am. I don't want to be watching every little thing I say. It takes too much energy and concentration. I have better things to use that energy for, like helping people like you

I hope I've helped!


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Need help forgiving myself - August 5th 2009, 06:27 AM

oh gosh i'm exactly the same! i always think whatever i do isn't good enough and if i mess up and always feel so bad like i've let everyone down.

i don't really have much advise other than to put each situation in context. for example, take whatever situation you're in and compare how important it is in the scheme of things within your life. this usually makes me realise how insignificant the thing i'm getting annoyed about it.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
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Re: Need help forgiving myself - August 5th 2009, 07:10 AM

Thanks Elle, I think that was exactly what I needed to hear


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: Need help forgiving myself - August 6th 2009, 04:29 AM

Oh my God, I've had the same problem, pretty much my whole life. Even when I was like six, I'd be so super paranoid of any wrongdoings that if I hit another kid or something on accident, I would go up to a teacher and tell on myself, and the funny thing is, the teachers never even gave a shit xD

I kind of got over it, I'm not sure how exactly. I guess I just realized that there's not really much you can do about something that's already happened and beating yourself up over it won't fix anything. I mean, I don't really know how to explain it, except we get up every morning and we go out and we live life because...I dunno, that's just what we're supposed to do, there's no alternatives that would feel any better than this, and carrying around a bunch of guilt all the time really slows you down.

And usually, whatever it is isn't even a big deal anyway, it's just so hard to tell at the time what is or what isn't. But when I do go on guilt-trips every now and then, I kind of like to just sit on my bed and listen to Coconut Records songs and draw random patterns on my leg until I feel calmed down, and that usually puts things in a better perspective
   
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