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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
LlamaLlamaDuck Offline
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Unhappy A right to help? - October 30th 2009, 10:27 PM

I really like to try and help people when I can but a while ago when I told a close friend I really wanted to be a child counsellor when I get out of uni, she told me that I can't help anyone until I sort myself out first.
This friend has said some pretty horrible stuff to me in the past but I honestly think she's right.
Do I really have any right to give people advice or try to help them if I'm still so messed up myself?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A right to help? - October 30th 2009, 10:57 PM

Hey there, i would personally say there is nothng wrong with you going ahead with doing this if you still have some issues, but make sure that you are ready for it. If you feel doing this job while your still stuggle may make you feel worse or trigger you at times, re'think it. You need to be able to handle the cases given to you.
I hope it all goes well :]

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: A right to help? - November 2nd 2009, 03:22 PM

Honestly? I hate people who tell me things for my own benefit when they don't do them themselves. If you have different problems then sure why not? But if it's the same thing, then I don't think it's right.
I've got a bundle of issues, but I still advise people on those same issues, but what I'm telling them is what I do myself. Lots of good advice comes from past and present problems. So as long as you try to follow your own advice, keep giving it [:


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Re: A right to help? - November 2nd 2009, 03:54 PM

i think theres a fine line between being able to help people and being too involved in the particular problem [i.e. suffering with it yourself] to be able to help sufficiently. now i'm not saying you can't be a child counsellor if you have certain issues.. far from it. in fact, a lot of people who go into that sort of profession have had some experience with it themselves. but just make sure that you're mentally stable enough to be able to help people without your own experiences getting in the way.


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Re: A right to help? - November 2nd 2009, 09:58 PM

My honest opinion is I wouldn't say your life has to be all hunkey dorey but I would say it shouldn't be in complete chaos.
Everyone has issues and it's having our own issues that help us to help other people and to help them to the best of our abilities.
There is nothing wrong with having problems. Ignore what your friend said. I think she is being a little extreme and harsh.
   
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Re: A right to help? - November 2nd 2009, 10:05 PM

Hey,

First of all, you can be whomever you want in life. Don't throw away your goals and ambitions because of what your friend said. If we all had to wait for perfection to settle in before we helped anyone, no one would be getting any help. It's the ability to use your past and present problems and experience that will help others. So, I really think experiencing the hard times in life is needed to be able to see things from another persons perspective.

You will never have a problem free life. If you're able to give advice while coping with your problems too, go for it! I mean, we all have our stress points and if helping/listening to others doesn't cause you stress, then there is no reason for you to wait. I only think you should worry more about yourself if it's affecting you when you help others in the process of helping/coping with your own problems. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I do need time to myself. Don't be shy to take that, if you need it. But other than that, I think only you can decide what is and isn't too much for you to handle. You can certainly help others while helping yourself.


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Re: A right to help? - November 3rd 2009, 01:35 AM

Like others have said you can be anything in life that you want dont let what your friend says mess that up for you.

I think its great that you want to help people and its very possible to help people out when your not perfect. Nobody would help anybody if you had to be perfect first. We all have our problems our little things that we have trouble dealing with but that dosent mean that your not perfectly capable of helping somebody out.

As long as your happy and enjoy what your doing and you trying to help people isent hurting you or effecting you in a negative way then I say go for it.


   
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Re: A right to help? - November 5th 2009, 03:48 PM

That's what my guidance counselor told me when I told her that I wanted to be a counselor. I think she's somewhat right. You have to have a really positive mindset and not get triggered by others or helping other people will be very difficult. It's a lot to handle. With that being said, I think you should go to University for that and try and work through the things that you struggle with. You will be a great Child Counselor in the end because of your experiences, and you can be a role model to them. Good luck.


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Re: A right to help? - November 5th 2009, 04:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghostlyheartbeat View Post
Honestly? I hate people who tell me things for my own benefit when they don't do them themselves. If you have different problems then sure why not? But if it's the same thing, then I don't think it's right.
I've got a bundle of issues, but I still advise people on those same issues, but what I'm telling them is what I do myself. Lots of good advice comes from past and present problems. So as long as you try to follow your own advice, keep giving it [:
I agree with this. For example say you're self harming and the person you're helping is self harming too then it wouldn't be fair to say to them 'stop doing it' when you haven't stopped yourself.


   
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