"You don't smile."

[Nothing to lose]

Not sure as to where to post this, but here goes.

Does anybody else get people telling you that you don't smile, or don't smile enough. And then often get asked "What's up?" or "What's the matter?" I do, and it becomes really frustrating. I do try to smile, and a good percentage of the time when people do ask if anything is wrong, I really am okay. I feel like I must look so miserable or something, yet I'm not.

Because I am a quiet person too, I do get quite paranoid incase I come across negatively. But I'm always polite to people etc. It just gets pointed out a lot that I don't smile enough, which makes me think I don't get what I'm doing wrong. Obviously the wrong is the not smiling enough, I just don't get how I'm not smiling enough. Especially when the majourity of people don't exactly walk around smiling 24/7.

So, anybody else get this? And any tips?

[semiunbalanced]

I got this for a long time and it turns out that after I grew older and looked back on it, I realized they were right! Sometimes when you don't get enough sleep or you aren't eating the best you could be you look worn out, exhausted, ill, or greatly upset. Try improving your diet, sleeping the amount of hours you should be for your age, and being a bit more outgoing and then people may stop questioning you. I've been told that I look brighter and more alive when really I'm just as happy, I just have been getting more sleep and I'm a little bit more outgoing. (: Good luck!

By the way, I'm not questioning your diet or anything. I'm just speaking from experience.

[The Morrigan]

Hi there,

I sometimes get that too and it can sometimes seem like you're coming across negatively. The best thing I can suggest is just smile and try and make a joke of it with the person who's said this.

Also, I'm going to move this to General since I feel it would fit better there, take care

[Maloo]

People tell me I look mad all the time lol. I guess my facial expression when I'm not really thinking about anything in particular is an angry-looking one.

[Awakening]

People tell me that all the time. I'm just not a smiley person. I laugh a lot but don't really smile that much. I think I look stupid when I smile so I usually cover it up anyways.
It can be annoying though. Ususally when somebody says something like that I just smile at them and they say good job or that's better or something and walk away.

[Anthropomorphic]

I know exactly what you mean. Apart from generally humorous situations (such as a party), I'm a very serious person, so I don't smile very much. People think that I'm angry, unhappy or depressed, when the fact is that I simply don't show much facial expression because that's just the way I am.

Don't worry about these people. If they want to see you smile or laugh, then maybe they should actually do something funny or witty and give you a reason to smile.

[Carpe Diem]

I get this a lot too

Like the people above, I'm not even sad or angry but I often get my co-workers and friends telling me to cheer up. Just yesterday, TWO different people told me to cheer up 'as I only live once'... They said the exact thing too! I know the answers seem logical, but I'm also wondering if there's something else to it? Maybe sleep deprivation causes your face to look tired which might translate to sad? Maybe your history plays a part in it? ie. depression = sad, angry = anger?

I understand that it's most likely what people answered above, but I was just wondering if there was something else to this maybe? I thought it couldn't hurt to shake this convo up a bit :P.

Here's a link I found while googling this topic:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...-really-37027/

So I suppose it's a fairly common problem.

[Reverie.]

The first time I got this I was only in year 4, so about 8 maybe? My teacher told my mum that she was worried because I wasn't smiling as much as I used to. I hadn't noticed much of a difference at all, so I was always conscious from then on about whether I looked unhappy or not, and i'd force myself to smile more in class. I get it from my dad all the time now, though that's mainly due to the fact he annoyed the hell out of me. I get it from friends too though, they ask if I'm okay, and when I tell them I'm fine, they ask me if I'm sure. Sometimes, I'll admit, I am down in the dumps, and I do get depressed (more frequenty lately, though now I am they don't notice? ) but before they've spent entire days asking if I'm okay, and when I tell them I am they don't believe me. It's like they think they know better than I do how I'm feeling It's very annoying and a lot of the time I find myself feeling down AFTER they've gone on about it, and when I tell them that they think I'm being spiteful. So yeah, I feel like I can't win sometimes.

[Fifi #19]

I get this quite alot, i really wouldnt worry about it too much, as long as you know you're happy thats all that really counts
I agree that if anyone makes a comment about it, you should just tell them to tell you a joke if they think they're so funny

[blumemusik♫]

Yeah, I don't smile much either! My neutral facial expression, when I'm thinking or whatever, is kinda depressed :') So people are like "What's wrong" and I'm like "nothing!"

I just try and smile whenever I see someone looking my way to try and avoid awkward questions :')

[Gymnophoria]

I've been told this. I had an aunt tell me once to "learn to be happy and stop being so depressing" which was around the time I tried to kill myself. Irony much?
But yeah, I basically just ignored it. If people don't like the fact that you don't smile much, it's their problem to deal with, not yours.

[Magical Forest.]

I'm usually too tired to smile! Or i'm so caught up in my own little world that it just looks like i'm dazing.
I get told "smile, and you'll feel better". No it DOESN'T work. Try smiling when you're in a psych ward...

[Soliloquy]

I don't tend to get that when I'm talking to people one-on-one or when I'm with my friends. Then I tend to smile a lot. But in class or in group settings? Definitely. I'm really quiet, and people are constantly telling me that I look sad and that they feel like they're "excluding" me. They always ask me if I'm "okay." Haha. It does get a little annoying sometimes. "What do you mean? I'm perfectly content here! " I know they mean well, though. I just get overwhelmed in situations with a lot of people.

[Verità]

I get told pretty frequently that I look sad or depressed. It's funny though, in my opinion, because I only seem to get those comments when I'm happy.

[Heartlines.]

I'm definitely the same way. Well, was. People would always ask me what's wrong, and I never knew what to tell them, because I was akways just fine. But after a while of getting the same question over and over again, I finally would say to them "honestly I'm fine. Thanks for caring enough to ask. If I have future problems or need to talk to someone, ill make sure to come to you. But for now, please stop asking." It generally worked for me. You may always get that question through out your life. Its your choice on how you choose to deal with it. But don't change who you are or the things that you do just so people change what they think. I.E trying to appear happy or smiley. Hope this helps!

[savealife723]

I'm the exact opposite.

People often tell me that I smile too much.
I've even had people go as far as telling me that they don't want to be my friend because of how polite and nice I am. I guess if you're not rude in highschool, it's weird or something? But I refuse to become one of the back talking, promise breaking, rude girls. So I just aim to be as nice as possible.

We can trade if you want. Haha.
I'd kind of like to know how the other side feels.

[L'espoir]

People always tell me I look lost and confused lol. I have no idea why xD

[hand4hand]

yeh i'v had this and i know how annoying it can get becasue the more they ask whats wrong..even if somthing isnt their constant asking makes it wrong!
i try just to ignor it or explain that really nothing is wrong you just dont always feel like you need to smile, not smiling doesnt always mean your unhappy.

[Sparrow&Nightingale]

I get this a lot from customers at work. They're always saying it can't be that bad or similar. I just have a naturally down turned mouth, and what i think is a small smile is actually still down turned. How is that my fault?! It really annoys me anytime someone says that to me, I can't help how I look naturally.

[Cabron]

I've had people tell me I look like I want to 'cut a bitch' when I'm making no real facial expression (i.e. thinking). This has happened on more than one occasion But generally, I think I smile quite a bit.

[ChaosControl]

I get this all the time. "Cheer up, it might never happen", and all that.

I think it's because I don't really like my smile, but also because I'm not paying attention half the time. I just end up thinking about stuff, not always bad stuff, but I always look distracted.

If you want people to see you smiling more often, you could try thinking of stuff that makes you happy? Occasionally I get "What are you smiling about?" when I think of an in-joke or something.

All in all, try not to worry about what other people think. As long as you're not genuinely unhappy, there's nothing wrong with your ordinary facial expression. You also said you're polite, so from what I can tell, there is no reason why people shouldn't like you, they just seem to get the wrong idea. But as most people know, you can't judge just by appearances. Once people get to know you, maybe they'll be better able to pick up on your mood.

[starship ranger]

Yeah, I've gotten it quite a lot actually. That and people tell me that I talk with no emotion in my voice and people make jokes about me being a robot, when I actually laugh, smile, and have a lot of emotion in my voice most of the time because I'm either purposely acting dramatic when I'm joking around or something else like it. It's so annoying when people say/ask things like that when not everyone is all happy and smiley 24/7.

[xx little miss clumsy xx]

I'm the opposite!

At school I was told; "You are too smiley" "Why do you smile so much?"...I dont honestly notice it, it must just be my natural expression, I guess I'm a pretty happy person. I once got thrown out of assembly cos the head mistress thought I was smirking at her, when she was giving us a telling off!

[Peppermint Tea.♥]

People often ask me if I'm alright, and what's wrong, because when I'm thinking, I end up frowning.
And yeah, I'm always being told to smile more. It gets annoying. xD