Death and girls. I dont know what to do

[Mike92]

My grandma died a year ago and we were really close. The grieving just comes in random moments, i get sad, then i get over it, but then it comes back. I just keep seeing her face and remembering her. Im crying now as i write this. I also am not having the best luck with girls, and i all i want is for a girl to love and share my problems with and someone to help me move on. All of this is really overwhelming, on top of this, all my friends are going to good schools while im going to a small, new school that everyone thinks is bad. I just need advice i guess right now. My dad and i hate each other and i just feel weird telling my mom. Please help!

[Reverie.]

Hey there!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandma, death isn't easy and it never will be. Unfortunately it's something we cannot stop or forget, but we can live on after it happens to someone we love, despite how much it hurts to do so. What I'd suggest is to surround yourself with people who understand how you're feeling and who can support you while you grieve. The grieving process has no time limit, it can go on for a long time or a short time, but it doesn't have to be lonely, don't forget that!

As for girls, well each one is different, so I can't tell you exactly what will work in finding a girl. Just be yourself, talk to them, become friends and see where it goes from there. Honestly, if you approach a girl with the intention of becomming more then friends, the process will take longer, if it even happens at all. Make friends, and if it amounts to something more, then awesome! If not, it doesn't matter, you don't need someone like that to be happy. Theres no reason why you can't lean on a friend for support either.

Just because your friends are going to good schools and you're going to one which has a bed reputation, doesn't mean you can't come out with just as great, or even better, results as them. School is what you make of it, it doesn't need to have a good name for you to get some good grades. If you go in to school with the motivation to do well, there's no reason why you can't. Yes, help may be limited and the resources may not be as amazing as other schools, but you can still do ell if you want to. Keep your head held high because part of success is personal, and you can do whatever you set your sights on.

I hope this helped a bit. PM me if you ever want to talk, I'll be happy to listen and offer you some extra advice if I can.

Take care,
Hollie.

[PrincessDea!]

You should think about the good times u and ur granma had and as for the girls your not going to find anyone like that just because you want to that takes time so be patient and the skool, the exact same thing happened to me but now i love it and have a ton of friends so ignore it and make your own judgement

[Lars]

I had a similar thing happen to me, my father had a stroke when I was starting my sophmore year of high school, and has been bed ridden since in a upstate hospital. I feel that because of it I have such a hard time getting along relationship wise with girls. I just get close enough then shy them a way. I dont want to lose someone again. I recently asked a coworker out to the movies and she said yes but i never pursued it. I dont know how to get over it really.

[Ambiance]

I'm so sorry, I lost a loved one recently as well. It's okay, though, we'll be okay eventually

A lot of guys with issues tend to think that a girlfriend will help. While, the comfort and security in a relationship are nice, you can only work on yourself with the help of yourself. You have to come to these realizations and conclusions on your own; I'm not saying a therapist, or talking to anyone about things couldn't be of help; it really could. But the truth is that you need to work out your own issues because you begin a successful relationship, anyway, and even within a relationship you have to be able to sort out SOME of your own problems.

I think you could find the care you're looking for in a friend or your mom, or anyone that would listen. But you can't make a relationship happen, just put yourself in a place where your problems are sorted out and where you are ready to be in one should you be interested. The rest will work itself out good luck!