i might be going to jail

[Ann2012]

Thursday night I was hanging out with my boyfriend and another friend. We were at a park and I was hugging him. Someone called the cops and said we were having sex (very far from the truth). At least 6 cops showed up and two of them were really nice and joking around. I had blown up the only condom I had (my friends and I do it because it's fun to) and the mean cops flipped. One of them was asking me questions about it and then saw the lube inside it and asked me what it was. I told him lube and he asked why there was lube if we weren't doing anything and I replied 'condoms have lube in them...'

The younger cops thought it was funny. The older cops turned on me because of my age. I just turned 18 on Tuesday, my boyfriend is 15. We have been dating for about a month and have known each other for about 2 years. We really care about each other and 3 years isn't that bad, he turns 16 in 9 months. The cops wanted to take me in to jail that night. One of them got in my face and told me I'm 'immoral' and 'f***ed in the head'. They told me that I could get charged and forced to file as a pedo and to stay away from my boyfriend. They also asked me what career I wanted to go in and he told me I wouldn't be able to.

I think that this whole thing is ridiculous. We weren't doing anything illegal and we care about each other. There's guys my age dating freshman... I'm still in school, my boyfriend and I go to the same school. They said they would charge me with trying to arouse a minor (indecent liberties with a minor), we were just hugging....

My boyfriend may go into foster care too because he doesn't live with his guardian, his guardian kicked him out. He is self sufficient, has a job, and takes care of himself.

The cop said that he thought everyone thought this was a joke. My boyfriend and I even had a witness say we weren't messing around. The guy that called the cops called them before we even sat down (we were on a merry go round at dusk). I overheard the cops and they just wanted to take me in.

I'm scared for my boyfriend and I. Neither of us were doing anything wrong... the age of consent here is 16 but that's for sexual activities, it's okay to date but not do anything sexual. We weren't/aren't doing anything sex, just hugging.

I feel it's the cops going on a power trip (these cops are known for that) and they just wanted to send me to jail and ruin my future over nothing. I'm so scared... this is so wrong, we weren't doing anything.

I want to be in the medical area after I graduate. My boyfriend and I were making plans together for our future too. 3 years is not bad, especially when we arent doing anything. I JUST turned 18 too. There's so much more/worse things that they could be going after instead of me hugging my boyfriend.

[Dr.Bobby]

Ann, this is a bad story. Were you actually taken down to the station and charged with something? In order for the courts to get involved there needs to be some charge. Was there?, and what was it?

If you were charged, then you really should tell your folks and get yourself an attorney. The law is slippery, and you'd need proper legal representation here to protect your (and your b/f's) interests. Don't assume it will all work out when the judge hears the case.

It gets tricky here also b/c technically as an 18 y/o you are an adult and can be prosecuted IF (again) you were formally charged. But, your b/f sounds even more vulnerable b/c he's essentially on his own, which at 15 isn't really legal. At 15, minors need to be in the custody/care of some responsible adult, and what you're saying suggests he's not, so he's particularly vulnerable here not so much for the legalities of whatever the police were originally contacted for, but for his status as a minor without supervision.

At the very least, neither of you should talk with the police without proper adult/legal representation.

[Ann2012]

A report was made but we aren't charged as of yet. I was told an investigator would come talk to me but so far there hasn't been anyone.

My boyfriend is trying to get his guardianship transferred to the woman he lives with. This is so messed up. I'm scared for us both... I also feel extremely depressed because I haven't spent time with him since. It's hard for us both.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

I'm trying to get my head around why someone would call the cops and complain you two are having sex when you're on a merry-go-round. Were you doing anything on the merry-go-round, such as kissing, hugging, touching each other, etc...?

You won't be forced to file as a "pedo" if convicted of a certain charge, more likely you'll be forced to go on the sex offender registry (although I don't know why the officers would refer to people on there as "pedos", pretty much every study and published governmental statistical analysis has shown that's false). Unfortunately, since sex crimes against minors are very strong topics in court and law, it may make some sense why the police initially responded the way they did as they saw a condom with lube, a complaint you two were bangin' away and you two were on the ground (I'll presume you two were still fully clothed, although correct me if I'm wrong). On the other hand, since some of the officers understood the call was false and there was no harm going on, you could be safe if charged. The witness you two had may also come under scrutiny because they could be viewed as an accessory to the charges. It's very iffy whether you'll even get charged as not all the officers were in agreement, so it instantly weakens any charge.

When the investigator comes around, be sure to mention that some of the officers understood there were no illegal acts going on and they thought it was a joke. It does look suspicious when a couple pull out a condom, take it out of its wrapping and fiddle with it for the obvious reason that it's meant for one thing only, sex.

As mentioned, your boyfriend is the one who is most likely to face trouble as he has no guardian or adult caring for him. It doesn't matter if he has a job and is self-sufficient, the law will pat him on the back for that but he'll likely be put into child services care or somewhere else.

[Dr.Bobby]

Ann, let me repeat that when the investigator comes around, you should have an attorney with you. Tell the investigator you want representation, and let him know you'll call him and schedule a time to meet with him after the attorney is with you. I wouldn't talk alone to him, he is not so much 'On your side' nor is he necessarily going to listen to your story and dismiss everything. There's a much better chance that he's looking for the reason to formally arrest you.

Your b/f is still much more vulnerable here b/c of his precarious living situation. It's wise for him to legally resolve that and have a formal guardian, who also should be present if/when he's questioned.

These things have a way of snowballing from nonsense to fairly serious, so you and he should prepare yourselves.