Rushing. . .please read

[rockerbabe12292]

Its been years since I've been on here. . .not even sure if I'm allowed on here anymore since I'm nearly 20. Any who, I hope I put this in the right spot. Maybe someone else feels the same way I do. . .or can give some insight. For years. . .I can't quite remember for how long, perhaps even my whole life, I've felt like I'm running out of time. Like I'm not going to get to live a long life and it could end at any moment. I don't know why I feel that way but as a result I constantly feel like I have to rush through life. I have always been too old for my age and at this point its starting to bother me. I feel like I don't have time so I feel like I have to get everything I want done immediately. I don't want to spend more than 2 years in college because I don't want to waste that time and I want to get started on my life, I feel almost a need or an intense urge to get married and have children asap as well. I can't even really explain how it feels inside. Its almost painful how strong the urge is to rush. People tell me all the time that I'm only 19 and I have time. . .but I don't feel that way. Help?

[Ryan1]

Hi Jocie, TeenHelp is a site for people of all ages and nationalities so try not to feel like you don’t belong.

If you want to put your mind to rest it would probably be a good idea to live a healthy life style. If reassurance is something you need then make it fact that you’ll live a long life. Granted something’s are simply out of your control but there are certainly measures you take to prevent from getting sick. At the end of the day life is short and rushing isn’t something that I’d necessarily do. By rushing I’m interested to know what you mean because being mature for your age isn’t a bad thing some people never grow up, while others are forced too.

I think you should try to get a holed of what you value and want out of life. Ultimately you can’t have everything so make a bucket list and brain storm what you want so you’re able to keep yourself on track. I know it’s a random idea but if you’re satisfied at heart when you’re older it will give you a sense of something that you lived for. You won’t be young forever and people seem to forget that. If you’re content with the person you’ve become then that’s half the battle already won.

I look forward to hearing back from you, take care.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

A few of my friends are in their early 20s, as am I, and they had the same feelings as you. One of them is currently 22, graduated from university with a teacher's degree, his girlfriend went to the same high-school and university, he recently married her and she's pregnant. I personally cannot comprehend why anyone would want that, I certainly don't but that's a different story. He has been stressing out by trying to find a job, buy clothing and supplies for the future baby, finding a bigger apartment, etc... . Both their parents provide a lot of assistance but even so, the stress levels are through the roof, I cant imagine what it would be like if the parents didn't give as much support. His wife, also a teacher (unemployed also), has been stressing out because she's afraid she'll be mothering the baby, forcing my friend to work extra hard to support them. Overall, their intended paradise has turned into a stress-filled nightmare.

As I said, I cannot understand why people want to do this given our average lifespan is fairly long and keeps growing. While you may feel rushed, think about your ideas. If you want to go to college for only 2 years, you won't get a Bachelor's degree at all, so now you're looking at low-paid jobs or praying you start up a wealthy business but even that's going to take many years. Adding kids in the mix means you'll spend at least $250k because kids aren't cheap, go to any baby supply store or a general store and you'll realize it's expensive. If you do follow through with going to college for only 2 years and having kids, you better hope your parents cough up a lot of money or you find a sugar daddy.

[rockerbabe12292]

Thanks for the responses. Ryan to answer your question its not so much a feeling of being mature and growing up a little more than others, but its a very intense feeling that I need to speed up my course of life. For example, I'm 19. . .but I don't feel 19. I don't want to do the same things as other 19 year olds and I feel like I have to speed up my life in order to be where I feel I'm supposed to be. I hope that makes sense. Like I'm in college right now, but part of me feels like its holding me back and that I'm supposed to be beyond that and working and starting a family, but I don't know why. Its a feeling that I honestly can't control or talk myself out of. As I said before, its like a painful urge. Its hard for me to explain, but its more than just being more mature. . .Its like I'm trying to race towards death.
And The Man: I am sort of the exception when it comes to 2 years of college because I'm a nursing major. At the end of 2 years I'm going to a RN and in the state I live in now I will make about $60,000 a year starting out. And my boyfriend is already through school and makes about $60,000 a year. And, its not that I want to feel this way. . .I don't want to have this awful urge to rush through life and start a family, I mean one day I would love to have a family, but I know I'm too young yet. I know there is so much I have yet to learn and experience, and that's what I want as well. . .but as I said. . .its a feeling that I really can't control. Its just there.

[Peppermint Tea.♥]

Sometimes it can help to write things down. Give yourself a plan, as detailed or as vague as you like, so that when you feel like rushing you can look at it and think 'oh wait, I wasn't planning to do that for another year' or something like that.

We only live once, so live life to the full! Keep yourself busy with all the things you should be doing now. Like partying, trying new things, travelling. Whatever comes to mind.

[rockerbabe12292]

Thats a really good idea actually. . .I really like that, thank you.