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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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*Faith* Offline
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She found them! - April 7th 2009, 10:23 PM

I know it was a stupid idea to leave my drawings under my pillow but I completely forgot to take them with me when I went to school yesterday so mum thinks I'm a lesbian psycho!(I drew pics about SH and girls). The SH ones were pretty bad which raised a red flag with her, isn't it better to have that kind of an outlet to try and calm down the amount of times I SH literally??? And I'm not ready to tell anyone that I may not be fully straight.
She was okay for the rest of yesterday but today she's constantly walking in and out my room checking I'm not doing anything to myself or drawing anything too extreme.
Gawd! I know she's concerned but...


You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free
Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: She found them! - April 7th 2009, 10:36 PM

She's your mum, and she loves you and of course she's concerned about you ... it's unlucky that she found them, but maybe now's the perfect opportunity to tell her about your SH. She may not understand that these drawings help you. You'll probably need to talk to her about this and she can help you and fully understand what's going on.




Sometimes it's better to forget how you feel
and remember what you deserve


S. M ... still in my heart, forever
   
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Re: She found them! - April 7th 2009, 10:36 PM

I can understand why your mum could feel weird about the pictures, but at least you were doing something productive instead of self harming which is good! Parents can be extremely nosy (my mum is one of the worst for that) and sometimes find things that they don't like, but it's only because they care and want to make sure that everything's okay. Give it a bit of time, hopefully she'll ease off a bit.

x
   
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Re: She found them! - April 7th 2009, 10:42 PM

I know it must be frustrating that your mom is checking on you on and off. But, she is your mother, it is only natural for her to worry so much. I think that having a separate outlet from SHing is wonderful and that she should not try to take that away. I say just try to draw less drastic things for a while to distract her attention and then when she starts feeling better about it you can draw however you want.


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Re: She found them! - April 8th 2009, 01:07 AM

I'm sorry your mom found those drawings. Mabye it would help if you explained to her why you drew them, and let her know she doesn't need to check up on you constantly. It's normal for her to be concerned, even if it is annoying, and hopefully she gives you more space after a while.


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Re: She found them! - April 8th 2009, 01:59 PM

I can't explain to her why I feel this way because she will blow it out of proportion more than I can explain. I can deal with the urges in my own way i.e drawing. She doesn't seem to take it as a good thing. She hasn't been so much on my back today and I haven't drawn anything whilst she's been in the house but I really need to otherwise I'm going to have to give in


You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free
Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
   
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Re: She found them! - April 8th 2009, 02:04 PM

Hey Faith! Try getting a lockable diary to draw doodle in? And keep it somewhere, ie a handbag or somewhere she is unlikely to look.
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Re: She found them! - April 8th 2009, 02:18 PM

Hey Faith
It's always awful when parents find things you dont want them to!

But, avoiding the issue may only make it worse.
As much as you dont want to , I agree with the advice above, and maybe now is an oppurtunity to talk to her?
She is a parent though, and is bound to worry about you! Her checking up on you will be annoying now, but she will back off after a while!

Hope it all picks up for you. Dont give up now.
Jess.


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That's where you'll find me
   
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Re: She found them! - April 8th 2009, 03:17 PM

But I'm fine! Its not like I'm going to do anything, I thought it would count as a healthy outlet but...I guess she doesn't see it that way and thats what really hurts.
I know, I keep my drawing pad in my bag now but I'm still paranoid even though my bag is always with me and I'm scared she's going to walk in unexpectedly because no one in my house knocks.


You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free
Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
   
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Re: She found them! - April 8th 2009, 07:22 PM

Hey Faith.

I know how you feel. I have a scrapbook, of SH drawings, and random things about how I feel. I write a lot of suicidal writing too. ( I am NOT suicidal) Sorry I cant spell! But I'm always paranoid my parents would find them, as like yours they would blow things out of preportion.

But yea....Im planning on going to town and getting a lockable diary or folder or something. My parents need to learn that I want my own space now Im older. lol

   
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Re: She found them! - April 8th 2009, 07:35 PM

The same thing happened to me a few years ago, only it was my poetry that they found. It was just my way of venting and thats probably the case for you. I think you should sit down and discuss some of this with your mother, shes obviously going to be concerned because she loves you.


RIP JESSIE, JACK, & DAVID <3

CJM <3 UNTIL THE END OF TIME

<3 JOCIE

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*Faith* Offline
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Re: She found them! - April 8th 2009, 11:22 PM

I've tried talking but its hard to convince someone that you're okay when you're drawing disturbing images.


You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free
Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
   
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