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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Jordioa18 Offline
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Positivity problems in family? - December 28th 2015, 11:31 AM

Well, my family isn't that positive in my honest opinion. They take me for who I am (Probs only because I am their fucking son), but, mostly after I've visited my girlfriend, they feel as they are pretty negative or as they say "reallistic". That isn't a good combination considering my lack of motivation in most things.

For example, I want to get a job, I applied (Open application), but I don't hear back for a while. They don't want me to call but want me to wait it out because "They'll call you when they need you, just wait it out" while the rest wants me to get after it to get the fucking job so that I have one. And I want a job so that I can pay for things like dates with girlfriend (Although she is at peace with the fact that I have no real income and doesn't want me to pay for everything).

They want me to put me under guardianship because they are afraid with me being committed to some kind of subscription that I am not prepared for and because of my brain damage. (They do say that I may spend earned money as I wish), while my girlfriend is like "Don't do it. Everyone makes mistakes and I allow you to make mistakes". Subconsciously I'm leaning to my girlfriend's statement more than my parents statement due to her being a more positive force in my life.

The other problem is that my dad has anger issues, not that he punches me or my mother, but he always comes across as pessimistic when at home and he drinks more lately. I told my mom that he should look for help, mom agreed with me but dad doesn't want to because it might not be 'manly' (What a crock of fucking shit). I have a LOT more to say, but I think I've already broke some 4th wall already. This aspect of my life fucking sucks and I just want to rant about it for once.

Also, when finishing this, I just realise this fits more on friends and family, so move it there if that's right.


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Re: Positivity problems in family? - December 28th 2015, 01:31 PM

I so damn know what you're talking about, I have a lot of negativity in my family as well. My family is also pretty conservative so my father gets very angry at really tiny things. Whatever, my family life sucks and I can't even explain it.

Man, I know you're not asking for advice, but seriously, don't think too much about it. I know this sounds cliche and all but just believe in yourself and the positive inside you, because that can rule out all the negativity in the world. Like, if you want to make that call for the job application, then fucking do it. If you don't, then don't do it. Don't get me wrong, family opinion is important, but your choices are even more important.
   
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Re: Positivity problems in family? - December 29th 2015, 06:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordioa18 View Post
"reallistic"
Reality is what you make it. If you take a shit pessimistic attitude to it, that's what you're most likely to get back out of it. That's a general rule, of course it "fluctuates"... but that's on average the truth. It's a two way street, and you're 50% in control of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordioa18 View Post
They don't want me to call but want me to wait it out because "They'll call you when they need you, just wait it out" while the rest wants me to get after it to get the fucking job so that I have one.
Make your own mind up about what you want to do... don't rely on other people for it. It's just a bad habit. Make choices which are considerate of others in the right contexts, yes... but don't let others make those choices for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordioa18 View Post
They do say that I may spend earned money as I wish
It shouldn't be any other way. I appreciate advice/guidance (for example how to spend my money) when I ask for it, or if someone offers it and I welcome it... but there's a difference between that and letting someone else "run" things for me. Personally, I've fucking had it with anyone "running" things for me or doing things for me which I don't ask for or don't want. I'm almost pathological about it... so probably not the best person to look towards for examples. Pick a healthy balance. If you can wipe your own ass, and you earn your own money, then you can spend your own money.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordioa18 View Post
Subconsciously I'm leaning to my girlfriend's statement more than my parents statement due to her being a more positive force in my life.
That's good. But like I said earlier, it's good to make choices which are considerate of others... as long as you are making the choices.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordioa18 View Post
The other problem is that my dad has anger issues, not that he punches me or my mother, but he always comes across as pessimistic when at home and he drinks more lately. I told my mom that he should look for help, mom agreed with me but dad doesn't want to because it might not be 'manly' (What a crock of fucking shit). I have a LOT more to say, but I think I've already broke some 4th wall already. This aspect of my life fucking sucks and I just want to rant about it for once.
Mine is pessimistic too. He doesn't drink, instead he's addicted to his computer and downloading anything which is "free" or pirated. And hoarding junk. Sure, it affects me... but I can't change him. The best I can do to limit the influence that crap has on me... is to limit the time we spend together when he's in one of his mood swings. I don't stick around in the same room when I sense that he is in one of his paranoid mindsets.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordioa18 View Post
And I want a job so that I can pay for things like dates with girlfriend (Although she is at peace with the fact that I have no real income and doesn't want me to pay for everything).
She sounds decent, although obviously, there's very little information for me to draw any conclusions on. If I had nothing good to say, I wouldn't say anything.

But... start making up your own mind about things, and making your own choices. Even if you screw up, you learn from it then. She sounds like she understands that.

Even people who seem "nice" can start coming across as assholes once they subconciously realise how easy it might be to push others around. They might not even realise they're doing it. Certain dysfunctional boundaries get established without anyone being consciously aware of them, those boundaries become "normalised" in the minds of the people involved, and to then re-establish and move the boundaries several years later when you wake up is comparable to taking down Russia's iron curtain.


.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.



Last edited by BDF; December 30th 2015 at 03:11 PM.
   
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