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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Angry Just ranting about idiots. - February 19th 2017, 03:30 PM

This has nothing to do with me personally. However, it bothers me and I just really needed to get it off my chest. Jordan's little brother Jake is great. We invite him over once a week for D&D because we have a lot of fun with him in the campaign. Now Jake is 18, but when he was younger, like around 15 Jordan's friends were mean to him, and wouldn't include him in the things we were doing. I've had many altercations with people about that, and finally every one finally realized Jake was here to stay, and that they needed to treat him with respect.

Anywho, last night, Jordan had a friend over, who is actually younger than Jake, I just don't know if Jake knows that or not. And Jake and I were talking while this guy was trying to talk to Jordan about what he wanted to do next in the game. Apparently Jake and I laughing among ourselves hindered his ability to talk to Jordan, so he then threw a pencil at Jake and hit him right in the face! I was livid. I took the pencil and threw it back at him, and asked Jake if he was alright, and he was. Everyone else kinda played it off like a joke, but it wasn't, and I knew Jake was upset about it.

Needless to say, now we aren't inviting that kid back for another go. He clearly doesn't deserve it, nor does he belong here acting like that. I'm just so upset about it, and I'm so angry because of it. I feel sad because I've always tried to make this a safe place for everyone to hangout and not worry about getting picked on, or worry about something acting like they are above the other. I went to bed before everyone left, but I did message Jake this morning, and I'm waiting for his reply. I hope he is okay, and I honestly do feel bad.


Anyway, thanks for letting me rant.


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Re: Just ranting about idiots. - February 20th 2017, 01:06 AM

Hey Ade,

I am glad Jake has someone like you, who cares for him so much. I understand why you and Jake are upset about Jordan's friend's behaviour. It was absolutely uncalled for. Maybe when Jake was 15, Jordan's friends weren't comfortable with having him around since he was young and they were probably adults but that does not give them the right to be mean to him. When I was younger, my older cousins never let me hang out with them because they were scared I'd find out about stuff I shouldn't know but since I turned 18, they let me.

Have you or Jake spoken to Jordan about the way his friend reacted? Maybe it will help if Jordan and you set up ground rules on how his friends treat your family in your house. After all, they don't have a right to come into your house and treat your family wrong. It can be an awkward conversation to have but it is your house and I think you get to make a call on what kind of behaviour you want in your house.

I really admire your decision of wanting your house to be a safe place for everyone to hang out. I know a lot of people who compromise on this just to continue being friends without realising the impact these negative people have on others. I don't really have a lot of advice to give on this matter because I admire the way you have handled things so far.

I understand it can be overwhelming to have to deal with all this time and again and I hope ranting about it helped.


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Re: Just ranting about idiots. - February 20th 2017, 04:24 AM

Hey there, Ade.

I'm sorry that this happened. Gosh, that sounds really frustrating. Seeing anyone be mistreated is upsetting, but even more so when it's someone you care about and already know they have been mistreated in the past. Even though it must have been frustrating for Jordan's friend to be hindered from talking due to you two laughing if he was in the process of saying something or about to say something, he should have been patient and respectful. You two were just laughing, meaning you were enjoying yourselves. And if he was frustrated/upset, he should have communicated that rather than acting out.

It is true that Jake is lucky to have you. I can see that you care a lot about him as you make a point to include him, and watch after him. The fact that you aim to make your home a safe and kind place for people is wonderful and I admire that. I imagine that your family and those you have over really enjoy coming over to your house due to the friendly and respectable environment you create.

I am hoping that ranting about this has helped and I hope Jake is alright. Take care, Ade!
   
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Re: Just ranting about idiots. - February 23rd 2017, 04:30 AM

Hi Ade,

I'm so sorry that you're going through this! I am the same way, I always want my friends to feel safe in my group of friends.

You posted this a couple days ago, did you hear back from your friend? How is he feeling about it?

The way I think about when it comes to your situation is that you can't really control how others act, however, the fact that you helped Jake, and took his side when he got the pencil thrown at his face shows a lot about the type of person you are! I'm so glad that you did stand up for him.

Are we able to get an update?



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Re: Just ranting about idiots. - February 23rd 2017, 02:16 PM

I didn't talk to the guy who did it, but Jake is fine. He pretty much shrugged it off, however, we have put a hold on Friend's day for a while to let things cool down. We don't want anything like this to happen again.


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Re: Just ranting about idiots. - February 23rd 2017, 08:08 PM

Thank you for letting us know! I'm glad to hear that Jake is fine. You're very kind and considerate towards Jake. I'm sure that he appreciates it a lot and that it reminds him there's someone who genuinely cares. Hopefully things cool down soon. I know you enjoy Friend's day and want to create a positive environment.
   
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Re: Just ranting about idiots. - February 25th 2017, 03:32 PM

Thanks.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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