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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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*Tinker Bell* Offline
It's A Complicated Life

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me=NO POINT TO LIFE - January 26th 2009, 11:58 PM

All these thoughts tyhat wont go away.
Flashback
cant consentrate
Life is not going anywhere for me if anything im going down hill really fast and have no clue if its going to end soon or go to were I hit rock botttom again
I just hate living with all this shit in my head.
I have no clue when its going to end
I had abreak down ant the bowling alley wow wasnt thatr FUCKING fun.
Nothing sounds good anymore.
Its like im out of controll in the sence that I have no controll over my life because I feel numb all the time. UGHHHH


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: me=NO POINT TO LIFE - January 27th 2009, 12:05 AM

I'm so sorry. There is a point to life for you. You sound like a wonderful person, and I think you're just going through a tough time. Believe me when I say that things will get better. I will always be here for you if you need to talk. Stay strong!
~Talia


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: me=NO POINT TO LIFE - January 27th 2009, 03:48 AM

Hii hun, Im sorry your feeling the way you do.
I know you must be feeling terrible.
May be what you need to do is think about what is making you feel the way you do.. maybe then that way we can work on changing the things what make you feel so low.
You mentioned flash backs, what ever the flash backs are about i imagine it must not be nice, and could be what is causing you to be unable to concentrate and having breakdowns.
Maybe talking to someone about how you feel could help? I know that is the most commen suggestion but honestly it helps. maybe over come things what had happened in the past could change the way you feel in the present and future.
Let me know how your feeling, maybe we can talk about getting you to tell someone about this? a teacher a familly member a friend any adult or person you feel comfertable with?
I'm always here too listen and to help, feel free to pm me.
Take care <3


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*Tinker Bell* Offline
It's A Complicated Life

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Re: me=NO POINT TO LIFE - January 27th 2009, 10:56 AM

I laready have a counclor..Ive been in and out of councaling since I was like 5 years old..Im on so many meds for adhd(but people think i out grew the hyperness),depression,bi-polar,insomia. Just everything in my life is bothering me right now. I forgot about a person and I was happy but now I cant forgett him it came back. My flashback are about my childhood and ronald("Father")weho hurt me in so many ways even though I only visted them on the weekends. Im still not cutting but I do pull the skin off my lips, i wear hairbands on my wrist that are to small and dig in(my grandma doesnt know because my bracelets I wear hid them) I drew on my hand but pushed really hard so it got numb after a while(but I dont count these things twords my not self-harming) Me feeling SO ba dis just because everything is coming back to me I rember stuff now from my childhood that I dont want to. I screwed around with my bestfriend 4 times and im having flashbacks about that too. My friend who lived with us for awhile is trying to stay in contact with me but shes the one I have flashback about. Im just sick and tired of not having a smile on my face..when I do now its fake. I just dont know. I have hit rock bottom before and im just afraid im going abck to that. I think about cutting way to much even though its been a year and lots of months since I havent.
I just cant take all of this anymore its just way to much


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Re: me=NO POINT TO LIFE - January 27th 2009, 11:10 AM

there is still point to your life, your a good person, even with all of that


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
*Tinker Bell* Offline
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Re: me=NO POINT TO LIFE - January 28th 2009, 12:37 PM

How is there a point to my life? All mine haas been is depressing urges, then it goes great and then it just starts all over again. But this time its al lworse. I uncountrolabley shake at night when it gets dark and I have no clue how to stop it. And even though im not eating A lot I know its not from that because I ate a lot yesterday and stil lshaked. Its not panick attacks because i can still breathe. I just have no clue why. i talked to my counclor yesterday and I just sat there most of the time because when when we talk about stuff I just freeze and I go to my head. Its just awful. Next week I am going to do this light treatment thing I forget what its called. And that might settle my thoughts but i dont know. I just hate having to deal with all this. Plus I just got orisma colored penciles and im so happy.. but it came with a hand sharpener and I can easaly take the blade out of it. But the thing is everytime I think about cutting it cuttinga vain or cutting real deep were the blood want stop for a long time. BUT IM NOT SUICIDAL. I just cant ake all this shit.
And have no clue what to do. Plus im back to arguing with everybody mostly my grandpa(i live with grandparents) and it sucks i get irrated really easliy like I used to I hold all my feelings inside I dont cry because I taught myself not to. I cry over stupid things but when it comes to shit like this I just cant cry. I no crying is okay but when I was cutting I just guess I tught myself not to cry. Because i used to cry over everything, i'd cry at school,bus,public everywere.

GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK. I cant take all this.
ugh I have no clue what to do my thoughts get in the way of my homework and I cant consentrate even though I take my pills for A.D.D. ugh why is there no piont to my life??


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Last edited by *Tinker Bell*; January 28th 2009 at 12:42 PM.
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