Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Can't Stand It Anymore...

[SomebodyYouDon'tKnow]

I injured myself... it wasn't anything serious, just some stupid leg injury. But I can't take it anymore. My mom had to be a fucking dumbass and not believe how bad it was. I mean, it's not that bad, but at the same time I can't heal it at home or anything either. I can endure the physical pain, but the emotional pain is pure torment.

It's been a whole goddam year. My mom wouldn't take me to the doctor and just kept saying that it would get better, but I knew the damn truth from the beginning. Fuck. So I've been sitting here for over a goddam year doing nothing.

It's completely ruined me. The fact that I can't go outside and run around and have fun with my friends. The fact that I'm gaining weight. Oh, I think that's the worst part.

I've still been eating pretty healthy, even taking long walks almost everyday, but my goddam body won't submit for some reason. Before the injury I had lost a good amount of weight since I was slightly overweight before, and I felt so good. But now I've gained it again and it's completely out of my control. If I exercise my injury will just get worse. I just had the scans of my leg, and waiting every fucking day for the doctor to tell me what the fuck I can do. I can't sit like this any longer and watch myself blow up like a fucking balloon anymore. And due to circumstances, I won't have that chance to easily lose the weight like I did before the injury again. I also don't like most sports; the only ones I like are the ones I can't afford. I don't know what to do. I hate watching myself just gain like this... falling into the old pit again... it was so hard to take it off, and now it's just coming back and I can't do shit about it.

I don't know what the hell to do. And I know you probably might not either, I understand... I just need to vent. Goddam, I don't know how I'm going to manage... I still don't know how much longer it's going to take, it could be another year for all I know... and I don't like most sports, don't like enduring the torture of getting fit... how the fuck am I supposed to shape myself up again when I'm finally released of this burden???? I don't want to hate myself again, but I have no fucking choice!!! Fuck, I hate myself for ever letting this happen to me in the first place!

[wonderbread]

I haven't gone through the year with pain. But I really do understand how it is to have an injury and knowing its not seriously bad but it needs to be treated and having your mom do nothing about it! I went through that last year. Somehow I did something to my ankle and my mom was like it will heal on its own. Months later, where I could barely walk was when she took me to get some help.
I would seriously just keep telling her that you need to get it checked out. Tell her over and over. Have you thought about talking to your dad and seeing if he will take you.

[SomebodyYouDon'tKnow]

I've already gotten it checked out thank god, and it went for a scan. Now I'm (im)patiently waiting for the doctor to call me back and tell me what the hell is wrong with me...

It's not really the physical pain either. If I knew that it was totally unfixable and I would have to live with it, then I would be running around and having fun despite the pain. But it's the fact that I can't go outside and have fun and run around or ride my bike or go running, I can only sit on my goddam fat ass and wait. It gets tiring after a whole year. And I won't go and suffer the pain because it might make it unfixable if I do that. That's the worst part...

I'm just fearful that it'll take another year or some ridiculous amount of time to fix it... this is my prime time in life I want to be healthy and happy! Why am I doomed to this??? I'm sure you know the pain too...

As for my dad, I haven't seen him since I was very young...

[haveXhope]

I am going through the same thing.
I injured my knee about a year and a half ago. I am stuck in a knee brace waiting for the stupid doctors to call me back to schedule physical therapy or surgery.. anything.
I can hardly walk anymore.. it hurts sooo badly. and it's taking a big toll on my emotional health.
I have gained so much weight. I used to be little and now I'm like ..not so little. haha, and I'm soooo tired of it!!!
I hope things work out for you!!
Take care.