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Drugs, Alcohol and Addiction Whether you are combating substance abuse or struggling with another addiction such as gambling, this forum is here to provide support and answer your questions.

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%^@$%&!! Mother's gambling addiction. - June 9th 2011, 04:12 PM

So basically what happened was I told my mum I was going to town and the library. I don't know if other countries get this but in Australia if you're elligable you can get $200-250 every two weeks from the government (centrelink) for being a full time student. I get it every second monday so I thought I'd go out shopping on tuesday (which I rarely do because most weeks It goes on food.)

I knew before I got paid I had $80 in my account and when I was in town all I had was $80, and not $330 like I should have had, so I just assumed that centrelink didn't put it in (which happens, rarely, but still). So I waited in line for ages at centrelink which is kind of an awful experience, since it's 90% filled with scummy people yelling about how the service IS FUCKIN BULLSHIT and screaming at their kids SHANEQUA IF YOU DON'T SHUT YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH I'M GONNA SHUT IT FOR YOU!!!11.

So anyway I finally get to the end of the line for a woman to tell me that it already went in. Wtf? So I go to the bank (it's close) and wait in another line, with this print out centrelink gave me to say that it did go in. Anyway the lady looks at me like I'm crazy and says "It did go in. Look, you got it out at the Casino yesterday morning."

SHRTHSRTHSDFHSJ

So I realise that my mum had gotten it out without telling me and spent it at the pokies. I look at the bank teller (sooo embarrassing) and I'm like "...Oh. Okay. Sorry." and she says "You didn't get the money out, did you." I say no, and she says "Don't give your pin number out to anyone. Friends and boyfriends are not to be trusted." Ugh. So I change my pin, AGAIN. She's done this before (quite a few times) but she also spends it at the grocery store (which I am fine with. Before anyone says it I know I need to be contributing anyway and I do. I rarely ever go out shopping (maybe once a month, and I never spend much money) and I try to save it up but we always need it for food. Most of it goes on food. I get that, but the thing is we would have more than enough money to buy food if she didn't spend all of her own money at the casino.

When she got home that night I really wanted to yell at her but it was her birthday, so I kind of bought up the issue but let it go more than I usually would have. Everytime I catch her out or I come home and she tells me she's spent all my money, she just cries and says "I'm such a bad mother!" it pisses me off so much. She tried to tell me the only reason she spent it was because she spent all the other money I had saved last week (about $600) and she just wanted to win more back. LOL, like that's a good excuse. I told her that she was lying, and that she goes to the pokies because she likes going to the pokies, and not to bullshit and say it was for me because she knows I don't approve. I mean I don't like her going with her own money because it leaves us without, but if she's worked for it she can do what she wants. But I hate her going with MY money. Mostly she goes behind my back, but sometimes she asks and the conversation goes like this:

Her: Can I borrow your card?
Me: For the pokies?
Her: I'll give it back on pay day.
Me: How can you ask that after you spent all my money last week? That's so unfair.
Her: I know. But I won't be long.
Me: Seriously? You're still going to go?
Her: Pleeeaasseee...
Me: Fine! Whatever! Just get out of my room!

Then she actually goes. It's frustrating.

Oh and the $80 that was in my account? She borrowed it from a work mate because she was trying to get all my money back before I went to town. I would have been less pissed if she told me she'd spent it all before I went to town. It takes an hour to get there on the bus, then I had to stand in line for over an hour all up and ended up being humiliated at the bank.

She just makes me so angry! She doesn't think she has a problem at all. I told her she goes all the time and she said "No I don't! I don't even go once a week!" Hello, I showed her my transaction record for the past month and she got money out from the Casino 8 times in a month (some on the same day though), which all up was $850. That wouldn't be all either, because she goes with her own card a lot.

She also borrows money from my sister and grandmother a lot, usually for food/petrol but only because she's spent her own money at the pokies. My INTELLECTUALLY DISABLED uncle doesn't talk to her any more because when she was caring for him as he was getting CANCER TREATMENT (which she basically did to get a carers allowence I bet) she stole a heap of money from his bank account to use at the casino. How low can you get?

It's times like these I thank god we're poor. We live week to week anyway. If we had savings, a house/mortgage or anything like that, we'd
be up shit creek.

I just don't know what to do. I'm sick of never having food in the house... I'm sick of her spending all my money (and again, I'm fine with contributing to bills/food... just not her gambling addiction!) I intend on going to Uni in a different state so I should only be in this house a year longer thank god.

Sorry for the long rant, guys!


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~Arundhati Roy
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Re: %^@$%&!! Mother's gambling addiction. - June 10th 2011, 05:15 PM

Wow, that's really low :/

My mother didn't have a gambling addiction, but she just overall was not a good mother. She did a lot of drugs and got pregnant young so even though she was technically the "adult" I always felt we were on a pretty even playing field because she was really immature. The best thing I ever did was move out. All we did was fight and butt heads until I left, and now we talk once or twice a week for a few minutes just to stay in touch and our relationship couldn't be better. Sorry this happening (and has been happening, I can only imagine how rough its been on you), but just try and count down the days until uni and cut of her access to your funds. I'm sure you'll still worry about her, but once your out her addiction will become her problem and not yours.


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Re: %^@$%&!! Mother's gambling addiction. - June 10th 2011, 05:24 PM

Wow that sounds a lot like my mom...$2000 that I worked a full year busting my ass earning, gone in a matter of hours because I stupidly trusted her with my bank card.
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