Triggering: Kill me, please??

[Ashleyhateslife]

Not sure if this goes into why me or depression forum. Move it if needed, I don't care...

I fucking hate my life. I have failed at everything I have ever done. Even attempting suicide. :/ My mom says she loves me but she says it because I'm her daughter. She hates my step sister because she isn't my mom's biological daughter. I wish my mom would love me for who I am, not just because I'm her useless daughter. I try everything in my power to get her to want to spend time with me. She only spends time with my step dad. I was close to spending time her today, my brother would be getting his hair cut and I could talk to her then. But we got in a fight because she didn't want me to go. Which kills me inside knowing my mom doesn't want to be with me. She always spends time with my step dad, and if he isn't with her my brother is with her. I can never talk to her alone. I dont want to ask her for quality time because then she'll feel obligated to spend time with me. When we are together she seems annoyed with me, like she can't wait until I'm not there. I love her to death, sometimes I wish I cared as little about her as she does me.

My step dad doesn't show his feelings towards anyone but my mom.

My biological dad doesn't talk to me unless he has to.

My siblings say how much they hate me and can't wait until I die, constantly.

My one and only friend just told me she can't stand me because I attempted suicide and that is the weakest, most selfish thing anyone can THINK of.

Everyone hates me, or at least can't stand me.

The rest of my family teases me because I help out, volunteer, and donate to much. Also, because I am not prejudice like them.

No one talks to me at school unless they need help from me.

I talk to 2 counselors at school and a psychologist, they constantly tell me people love me, but they don't. And if anyone on here says they care about me they are wrong because they wouldn't even notice if I were gone.

I have accomplished nothing in my life and people laugh at my goals.

I just want it to end, and so does everyone else.

Nobody cares, nobody needs me, no body wants me, so what's the point of living?

I can't stop worrying about everyone or stop caring.

I need everything to end. I need to die.

[Haylee.]

I'm am so sorry that things are so hard for you. It must be hard to feel unloved and hated. And not to be able to see that people DO care about you and love you. I know it's hard to believe. :\

I'm here for you hun. If you ever need someone to talk to about anything you can talk to me. Please don't give up hope. PM me anytime. stay strong.

<3 Haylee Elaine

[Ashleyhateslife]

Thanks, it is very hard!

[Ashleyhateslife]

Also, how do I see the love everyone claims is there towards me?