So not fair!

[Unsure]

So I am twenty and living with my parents to save money to start my own business and they are really pissing me off now. They told all three of us kids that we could live here for free as long as we were working toward a goal such as school, buying a house or starting a business. My oldest sister lived here til she was 23 while working whatever hours McDonalds gave her and not trying to get more shifts, a new job, or promotions. Sometimes she was working as little as 10 hours a week and then just sat around the house. But she lived here for free saved up and bought a house. My other sister is about to graduate from college, and has been working the whole time too, and she has been living on campus or with my oldest sister. I have been living at home so I can save up for a business, the first year I worked all the hours I could get at the movie theater I worked at, the middle of the second year I quit that job worked as much as I felt I could as a substitute teacher and was making more money that way than at the theater, during summer I got a job at a golf course and worked as much as I could there. Then went back to subbing as much as I could stand. By this point my insomnia was back and my parents were stressing me out so much it only got worse so I wasn't working as much but still making a decent amount of money. No matter how much I talked to them about letting me handle it myself and asking them not to bug me about it they wouldn't stop. So I started applying for new jobs constantly, but in this economy I haven't gotten anything. Not even an interview. Then they randomly told me that they decided I wasn't trying hard enough to save up so they were gonna start charging me! They charge me just enough that its really cutting my paychecks/savings back but not quite enough that I could move out for near the same price. SERIOUSLY?! So now I am really stuck here slowly scraping some money together for a business I really want to start while they are now getting a big chunk of my money. But my older sister got to work a few hours a week at a minimum wage job and not try for anything more for 5 years and live here scott free! You have to be kidding me!

[PSY]

Unfortunately, parents don't always treat their children equally. In fact, parents often indulge the lazier or more troublesome children, because they know the more responsible children can take care of themselves. Sounds like that's what happened with your older sister.

I'm going to offer you another way of looking at this situation. Rather than thinking about how unfair your parents are being, think about how generous they were toward all of you. I know they said they'd take care of you guys, but people are always allowed to change their minds. It sounds like there's something else going on here - maybe your parents are charging you rent because of another source of conflict/tension between the two of you? It may not have anything to do with finding work - they may just be tired of arguing with you and want you to move out. If that's the case, you could try sitting down with them and discussing a new plan, one that will allow you to keep saving money while compensating them in another way (ex. giving them less money each month, doing chores around the house, paying for your share of the utilities). If there's been an area in your life that causes stress for them, work on fixing things so they enjoy having you around the house.

In the end, your parents don't have to keep supporting you if they don't want to. It's great that they did it for as long as they did, though... at least you have money saved up, and that's more than what most people your age have! If you have to move out, move out, and make the best of your situation. Hopefully, your relationship with your parents will improve, given time.

[Unsure]

Actually we usually have a pretty good relationship. Every time I talk about moving out my mom gets all weepy. She always says that she knows I need to someday but that its cheaper to live here for now. She wants me here for as long as I will stay. My dad I think is ready for me to move out but he isnt pushing for it either. Pretty much the only tension between us is my work situation and the fact that I don't keep my room very clean, but I have been working on all of that they just aren't seeing it! Thing is, yes with my savings I could probably move out right now and have enough to get me through til I get a new job but that money is for my business and I don't want to give up what I want most (business) for what I want now (own place) but its like they are holding me back. It just drives me nuts that they insist on me paying rent and doing chores while I am working whenever I can and applying for every possible job when my sister got to sit around all day for free. Had they had her pay rent when she was here and not trying to work as much as possible or get a new job, it wouldn't bug me so much but they didn't, she didn't even have chores. They are seriously trapping me here, not pushing me out.