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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Cheyenne
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Location: washington state :p
Posts: 38
Join Date: February 26th 2011
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even when i have a good day, its terrible.... -
November 7th 2011, 10:22 PM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
today i made white chocolate brownies, and this other kinda pie my grandma wanted....i like cooking so it was a pretty nice day. i got yelled at by my mom plenty today....not TOO bad since i'm getting used to it.
there was only once today when i got really frusterated, funny i don't even remember what it's about. so i remembered the purse of things i'm not supposed to have hidden in the back of my closet. knifes, cigarettes, razers, lighters, etc. pulled on my hair a little, cried, whatever. still a lot better day for my mood than usual. i usaully go in my room look at myself crying in the mirror, thinking about everything, talking to myself about how i can kill myself, how no one would care. or "that'd show em" type of things.... but today wasn't too bad. yet right here, as im typing this, i'm contemplating why i should even live. thinking about how im here, sitting in the kitchen, how many things i could use to kill myself with. from the sink, to the utensils, cords, ANYTHING. all within a few feet at most from me. i don't understand why i can't ever JUST be happy. everyone else seems capable of it. but for me, it never lasts more than a few minutes. maybe an hour or two at most. oh, and to top it all off my internet just died....great. REALLY freakin great....now i'm going too have to copy all this, save it to a word file or somehting. and probably not even be able to post it til tomorrow. i hate my life so much. why does it have to be so freakin frusterating!?!?!?!? Yup, I typed this last night. Now im posting it *sigh* today I kept crying over stupid things  its really annoying >_<
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(#3 (permalink))
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
Name: Cheyenne
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Location: washington state :p
Posts: 38
Join Date: February 26th 2011
|
Re: even when i have a good day, its terrible.... -
November 8th 2011, 04:21 AM
i was crying over like....i went in the bathroom at school and one strand of hair looked really stupid in my bangs. then at lunch i was talking to my boyfriend and i ended up crying like 3 times. he wasn't even saying anything mean, i was just frusterated i guess. like he asked me something and we had talked about it the night before and i started crying and was saying "i already explained that"
been really over-emotional lately i guess. dunno why though  If I can't stop you.... Leave me a note? -Patrick |
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