what a mess

[Lynne]

me. i'm so glad this is here, cuz if i didn't tell someone, i would either tell my friends, and i really don't want them to feel bad, or i'm get mad at them cuz i was keeping all this in.
happy, thats all i want, i seem to have everything else BUT that. well not everything, but good enough.. all i want is to be happy, but thats always the thing i'm laking... latly (today) i noticed how shy i really am, to shy, i feel invisible.. i don't like it, today i don't like myself very much. I also hate that i don't study for tests.. and i just just a 40% on my bio test because of that.. i'm scared, i'm so unmotivated lately. i seem to care less and less... everything was going great the first 2 monthes of school, perfect nearly. and after last year being completly miserable i knew i was never going back to that again! but here i am, having some of those same terrible feeling i had last year... it scares me, i don't want to be like that again.. crying everyday, not wanting to go to school, feeling hopeless... i don't want that ever ever again... but... i have that same feeling right now, and i don't know what to do..