Uhh. Conflicting feelings.

[Lost_Confused]

So there's guy I'm "dating" but yet I'm not. He said he loves me, even though he was talking once and was like "My last girlfriend--not that we're dating now, but the girl I dated before--blahblahblah." So we're not dating, but we're "together". He's been talking about wanting to take me on dates, and do all this stuff, so it's like we're dating, but yet.. I don't know. It's confusing. But one day a few days ago after he left when visiting us, he asked if I trusted him enough to be faithful to me. Which sent up a red flag, because why would you ask that? People (I think..) usually assume the other person trusts them enough to be with them without worrying about cheating. Anyways, one of my friends had had a "thing" with him at what we call the Feast, and they liked each other then. A couple weeks after that, things weren't working out so they just stopped liking each other. She gave me her email and password to look at their conversation once time so I could give her advice when they were "together". Well he's been making promises he hasn't kept, and has lied about a couple things, and that bothers me. And I have a sneaking suspicion that he could be cheating on me. (e.i. Promising to call and not, spastic messages, used to text back as soon as I sent him a messages now it's over an hour apart and says he forgets to check his phone.. Guess I'm not important enough to check the phone for? And he's just acting kind of weird, difference than usual.) And I know it's wrong, and bad of me, but I checked her email recently, within the last week I think? And after he had said he liked me, and had liked me since the Feast, there had been a somewhat recent message saying something like, "I miss you, I want to hear your voice. Call me sometime, I wish I could see you." Which uh, does that not sound weird? Sounds like more than a friend wanting to see someone. And I'm pretty sure he's cheated on someone before. Hell, he was flirting and all over my friend (And some me..) before he broke up with his now ex.

I'm just tired, probably over-analyzing everything, but the fact that he's lied about a few things, and he's made promises he hasn't kept, and I have a feeling he's cheating on me (Can it be considered cheating even if we aren't technically dating?) so I'm just really down and feeling terrible.

I need help, should I confront him about it? I mean, I know I sound like every other preteen girl nowadays (OMGZZ I LUVERZ HIM!!1!11!1), but I really do love him, don't really want to end things, and I really don't want to doubt him, but I don't know. He's coming out at the end of December--Or so he says--so I don't want things awkward. But I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I used to think I'd be fine with just a physical relationship, considering that kind of what it was at first, but apparently not. I get attached way too easily I suppose.

Oh yeah, and it's 1:15 in the morning and I can't sleep because my throat's clogged up since I've been sick for over a week now. The only way I can unclog it is to drink pop, and we don't have any. And my money's being drained, because I've had to fix my car, all my money's gone to that. I need some personal things, and I need to pay insurance, AND give a couple dollars to an employee at my work for my boss for a Christmas gift. I'm too stressed out.