Need help with depressed suicidal mother :(

[RECK93]

My mum recently failed a suicide attempt and she has constantly told me that she wants to die for the past year. She has been in and out of mental hospital and has been addicted to various drugs for years. I feel like im taking the full burden of everything and i cannot cope with all this stress on top of my college work. I feel like i have no one who can help me and i feel very alone. I just don't know what to do!? :S

[Katrina]

Hey there,

Firstly, I just want to welcome you to TH. I'm Katrina, one of the "Buddies" here at TH (the staff group whose primary job is to make new users feel welcomed and comfortable here, and making sure they're finding their way around okay). So, on that front, please let me know if there's ever anything I can help you find.

I don't want to say "I know how you feel," because even though I've been in a similar situation, I don't think that comment is ever totally necessary, but I do want to let you know that I remember being in a position similar to the one you're in now, last year. My mother made three attempts to take her own life, and finally, the third time, just as it was looking like we were going to be taking her off life support, she made a miraculous (literally) turn for the better. After three months in the psychiatric unit and intensive therapy, she was ready to come home.

Its so tough to see anyone--but particularly a parent or a child--going through a battle as big as one against depression and suicide. It can make you feel awfully responsible, when in reality, it has nothing to do with you and is certainly not your fault. I hear that you're feeling lonely, but I want you to know that you are certainly not alone. There are both of us, and many others on this website who I know have dealt or are dealing with a parent's depression/suicide, and though you HAVE been dealt this hand o' cards (and it really stinks...its not fun...its not pretty...its only what it is), you don't have to walk this path alone. We're here for you, for one.

Have you looked into getting support from those you know offline, though? A guidance counselor at school, perhaps? A teacher? Friends of yours? One thing I was blown away by last year was how far out of their way people go for you when they know that you're struggling. When I finally decided to get over myself and ask for help, the amount of support I received was absolutely stunning. I was amazed... and I know there are people in your life who want to go that extra mile for YOU, too. Talk to your college professors and let them know what's going on with you. I can almost guarantee that they're going to be supportive of you, and though that may show in odd ways (such as them offering to work with you extra rather than extend your deadline, for example - know that they have likely had students in this situation before, and they simply know what's best for you academically, so they're trying to look out for your best interests).

Hang in there, okay? I'm hoping for brighter days ahead, and I think hoping is one of the most powerful tools we all have. (: