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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 04:46 PM

I've marked this as triggering just to be on the safe side.
I did a quick search and nothing came up but sorry if there's been something else before on the same subject.
I don't know if this goes in this forum... but i thought debates... whatever, feel free to move it (:

See I know why people generally think that guys hitting girls is wrong, but why is it SO wrong, like worse than a girl hitting a girl or a girl hitting a guy or what not...

Today I found out that an old friend of mine called Will has taken up smoking/drugs again, I got really upset and asked him to stop, and I admit I must have been really annoying, but I couldn't help it, I was genuinely extremely upset that he'd started again because he's very special to me.

Then suddenly out of nowhere he turned around and hit me, really hard! I had a hand mark on my cheek for most of the day afterwards and my cheek bone is still quite bruised.

However, after that happened several of my other guy friends jumped up and got really agitated with him, and mainly because he 'hit a girl'.

I understand why its wrong, I'm just wondering why its so much worse than the other examples? Is it because women are physically weaker? Or because traditionally men were the most powerful figures in society? Or what...?

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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 04:54 PM

It's like picking on someone smaller than you. Taking your anger out on something weaker than you, something that can't defend itself.

I don't know how that's going to come across but i feel that's what it is. I guess with the way society has went girls are seen as weak. Generally females are physically weaker than males and i think it's just a generalization that "hitting girls is wrong" when really hitting anyone weaker than yourself is wrong. It like an adult hitting a small child.
   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 05:30 PM

I think it's partly to do with tradition, but there is some sense in it. All the guys I know hit each other all the time and don't think anything of it. Whereas, all the girls I know would be really upset if anyone hit them and probably wouldn't speak to them for days. Guys are naturally more aggressive (especially around each other) because they have a lot more testosterone. Being bitchy is a girls way of being aggressive because it doesn't physically hurt anyone. I'm not saying that this is true for all guys and girls, it's just a generalization.
   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 06:33 PM

Well, two sides of it.

1) The social standard bit of it; females are seen as weak, nurturing, delicate, soft, etc. Therefore, if we are hit, we're more easily hurt. This is just traditional views built up by society.

2) The anatomy bit of it; womens body are made to handle different things than mens. Sure, we can go throw child birth, but our standards for lifting things (like weights) is a bit different, and we often have to work harder. So, if a man is hitting another man, we assume that anatomically he can take it better than a women could. They have more muscle mass, etc. etc.

So, those are the two main reasons why when men hit women it's a "big deal". Though, women can still pack a punch too, so I don't think we should focus any more on women being beaten than men being beaten because in any case it is serious.

I can attest to the anatomy bit, but not the societal views. I am very aggressive, like a man, but physicially I am no mater for them. We're just not build the same way, but we can work to make ourselves stronger.



   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 06:59 PM

It's a social issue in the Western society where men, generally stronger, bigger and meant to care for the younger, female and weaker don't hit the females.

My view, I think the reason for the hitting needs to be known first before I'll say if I agreed with hitting. Punching a girl randomly in the face to me is pointless. I have no problem doing it but I'd need a reason for it, not just for shits and giggles.

But, if a girl were to hit me, then I'd defend myself. If she refuses to stop after I block a few of her hits, then I have no sympathy and if that means breaking some bones or knocking her out, then so be it.

If I'm angry and the girl is nagging endlessly, I try to walk away but if she follows and hounds and hounds on me, then I give them one warning. If they fail to observe that warning and keep hounding, then she's getting hit. She was warned, she didn't take the warning, that's her problem.

To me, men and women are equal. I see no difference in hitting a girl versus hitting a guy, except the two usually have different anatomy and physiology. To me, they're both humans (depending where they fall on my hierarchy, possibly lower than human).

However, if you saw he was angry and he was holding back his anger yet you persisted, I say you brought it upon yourself. He could try to control the anger differentlly and better, but you are also at fault for not stopping the nagging.
   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 07:06 PM

If my life was in danger would be the only time such act would be done.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 07:14 PM

Going to sound sexist but basically because most of the time they are weaker. I mean two of my old friends dated for like a year and a half and the girl would always hit him first a couple times and he would like push her or like punch her once too get her off of him. It always looked alot worse when he hit her though just because guys grow up beating each other up all the time while most girls don't ... I mean if a girl hit me I wouldn't punch back, unless somehow she was gonna kill me or something?
   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 08:35 PM

As everyone has said, I think it has to do with girls being weaker. Most of us are, we must admit it. It was something that was taught to all the boys that I know out of tradition, mainly. I do think that it is something that children need to know because boys forget how strong they are. My boy cousin is very rough and could easily hurt me, whereas little girls seem to play easier, in my experience. Not hitting anyone will be something I teach my children, not just girls.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 08:44 PM

My personal views pretty much run parallel with YourNightmare.

If you hit me, girl or guy, don't expect me to hold back. If its a smaller girl that keeps kitting me, then I'll fight defensively first, but if she persists I'll have no problem knocking her one.

I believe the reasons and circumstances for hitting people needs to be taken into account. Only when I know the full story will I know if the hit was justified.

But in my opinion, constant nagging doesn't really justify using force. So, in this case, I think it was wrong for him to hit you because you care about him.

I'd be extremely mad at him as well, just like your other friends. But not because he "hit a girl," but because he hit a person for a really stupid reason.
   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 09:42 PM

Tradition dictates to treat women very well if you're a guy, and hitting certainly isn't good treatment. I don't think it's right for anyone to be hit under almost any circumstances, but aligning tradition with the fact that I'd be furious if someone hit a girl in front of me makes me feel that hitting a girl is worse than hitting a guy.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 09:47 PM

It's completely tradition and the stigma put on women. To be perfectly honest, I get really upset when someone doesn't punch me because I'm a girl. Or when someone thinks it was wrong to hit me because I'm a girl. I can stand up for myself just as much as any guy can.

Though, I do know I like to be protected sometimes. But it does make me uncomfortable because I don't know if it's because they care about me, or because I'm girl. I've also stood up for a lot of guys before, and people think it's "unmanly" for a girl to be standing up for them. What makes it so girls are so inferior? There really is nothing that I can think of.



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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 10:48 PM

Quote:
I don't think it's right for anyone to be hit under almost any circumstances
I concur!

Quote:
To be perfectly honest, I get really upset when someone doesn't punch me because I'm a girl. Or when someone thinks it was wrong to hit me because I'm a girl. I can stand up for myself just as much as any guy can.
I also feel the same way. It's just another form of sexism, in all honesty.



   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 5th 2009, 10:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
It's like picking on someone smaller than you. Taking your anger out on something weaker than you, something that can't defend itself.

I don't know how that's going to come across but i feel that's what it is. I guess with the way society has went girls are seen as weak. Generally females are physically weaker than males and i think it's just a generalization that "hitting girls is wrong" when really hitting anyone weaker than yourself is wrong. It like an adult hitting a small child.
This is true that that is the reason. It may be the mindset, but it's not always true I could beat up a lot of guys easily. My big brother can confirm that. When I was younger I was in wrestling and I loved wrestling the boys because they always thought they would beat me, but I would kick their ass. It was pretty irritating when I was older though, because the boys would be like: "I don't want to hurt you!" You won't.....

If a girl is hitting a guy, it's stupid to think that he shouldn't be able to hit her back in self defense.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 6th 2009, 12:02 AM

To me, it's a thing of respect. And that is because girls are normally weaker and such. Personally, I don't have much of a problem fighting back if someone ((girl or guy)) hits me. My brother and I were not very physical with each other growing up ((our parents got majorly pissed if we injured each other)). ((Plus, guys are supposed to protect women, so hurting a woman physically isn't really protecting her))

I took a self-defense course with the girls in my gym class a few months ago. It was interesting. It showed us how to take advantage of our strengths and make our weaknesses smaller. Like girls have more strength in their hips and thighs, so if you put your whole body into a hit, then you're more likely to be a match for someone physically assaulting you.

If a guy is hitting a girl in self-defense, it's not as a big of a deal. But if a guy is hitting anyone for the hell of it... what's the point?


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 6th 2009, 01:19 AM

Anyone who hits anyone when it's not in self defense or defending honor is not condoned by me. Fuck gender, you shouldn't hit anyone anyway.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 6th 2009, 04:52 AM

Hmmm, I don't know. I know what you mean, though. My boyfriend would never actually hit me, even playfully. The most he'll do is pretened to in slow motion, ending up just stroking the side of my face with his hand. However, I hit him playfully quite a bit, not hard, but still hitting. It's kinda wierd how me hitting him playfully would be seen as ok, but if he hit me, even just extremely gently, it would been seen as a terrible thing. It's really odd, but even I think of it that way when I'm not really thinking about it deeply. When I think more deeply, I don't think anyone hitting anyone is okay, unless it's in self-defense.


   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 6th 2009, 02:12 PM

Women are generally weaker than men. If a guy were to hit, I'd hit him back, if a girl were to hit me, I'd defend myself, but if she persists, I'd hit her.




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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 6th 2009, 09:51 PM

Personally, I'm one of those guys who would just not hit a girl.
I avoid physical altercations with everyone, but if I get into a fight with a guy I have no qualms about hitting back.
But I was raised in a house primarily of women and was taught to respect women. It's because of that, that I find it wrong to hit a woman.
It's a moral issue - I'll take a beating from a woman but I just will not hit back, because somewhere inside me I have that little voice that says that that the woman could be someones mother and/or sister.


   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 7th 2009, 04:03 PM

Female Nerve endings in skin are 10X as sensitive as those in males. Males have greater muscle mass and stronger bone structure built to handle hunting and combat situations. The body of a female is typically smaller, more sensitive, and more susceptible to physical damage.

When a Female is hit by a male, depending on the force applied, it can break bones, burst blood vessels, and cause serious pain that would not be felt in a male.

For these reasons, hitting females is frowned upon.
Also, if you punch a female in the stomach area, she has less muscle mass to protect her vital organs and uterus.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 7th 2009, 05:21 PM

Well, all the societal views on the subject have pretty much already been brought up here.

The way I see it, women aren't built in such a way that enables us to beat up most men. And if someone's physically weaker than you, you shouldn't pick a fight with them. It'd be like me beating up a five-year-old. Not a fair match.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 7th 2009, 08:33 PM

Where I live, there are two views on the matter. One is that you don't hit girls, which stems from men being overprotective of their women and believing that their place is in the home, not in tavern brawls. Also, most guys down here are taught to respect women.You don't hit your woman, you stand up for her.

And then there is the other view. If someone hits you, you hit back, no questions asked.I have been in fights with both girls and guys, and I have won fights against guys, even guys who are stronger than me. I have also lost fights to both. Honestly, in my opinion, girls really aren't that much weaker. I grew up having to fight to survive, so I do fight. But a girl who wasn;t raised to fight, it doesn't make her weaker, just less likely to pick a fight with a bigger opponent.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 7th 2009, 09:04 PM

If a girl decides to act like a man, then she can be treated like a man.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 03:11 AM

Biologically speaking, the strength of muscle in females is stronger than that in males. pound for pound, women are stronger than men. Men just have alot more muscle!


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 04:15 AM

My opinion is we should respect females and appreciate them. Those are some reasons why guys shouldn't hit females. I think for guys it's also a protective factor. Us guys want to protect our female friends because it's our nature. Some girls can protect some guys also but generally guys want to be the protectors of girls and hitting them says dominance, not respect.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 04:31 AM

If your a girl, it's obvious that being slapped or pushed by another girl doesn't hurt nearly as much as it does when a guy would do the same thing. Plus, how many guys would be in complete pain because a girl slapped them? I know that for some people it's such a terrible thing to say that guys are stronger, but they are. Guys are supposed to respect women. That's just the way it goes. And if they don't, they don't deserve to have any girls in their lives.





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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 11:21 AM

Treat others the way you wish to be treated. If a girl hits a guy, he has every right to hit her back and should.
I don't agree with hitting people because they're annoyed at what you're saying, you should talk it out first. However, if you hit someone, you should get your just dessert.


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 12:57 PM

I'd NEVER hit a girl but its a case of double standards...
If theres a violent girl hitting a boy its not seen as bad..
But if he retalliated < Spelling? And hurt her its deemed as the worst thing ever?

I wouldnt hit her back but theres a few males out there who would! But at the end of the day...shes just as bad? Whos to say shes weaker than him really? Just because shes a women? Sexist!
   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 01:16 PM

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If a girl decides to act like a man, then she can be treated like a man.
Am I the only one who thinks this sounds kind of degrading for men?


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 02:32 PM

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Am I the only one who thinks this sounds kind of degrading for men?

I don't think you're the only one, I think it sounds kind of degrading.

Females don't express themselves in a physical sense like males do. Doesn't mean that males are lower than females, it means that life is just the way it is. But, I've had a couple friends that were girls who messed with everyone that got in their face. I say that you get what you deserve. You mess with a guy too much, stuff like that is bound to happen.
   
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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 04:32 PM

to be honest i'm not usually one for tradition, and i'd normally be saying "ohh no women shouldn't be treated any differently." however, when it comes to this i do think a bit differently. i think it's wrong for a man to hit a woman in any circumstances, apart from if the mans life were in dangers. i wouldn't encourage anyone hitting anyone, but for some reason i think a guy hitting a girl is worse than a guy hitting another guy. because no matter what anyone says woman are weaker physically than men. a man hitting a woman is cowardly in my opinion, its almost like saying.. "i'm stronger than you and i know you can't defend yourself.."

idk.. maybe i think this way because of the male influences in my life, mainly my older brother who is very over protective of me.

take one example; this guy hit me about a year ago and threatened to come and stab me, because he thought i started a rumour about his girlfriend, whom i didn't even know. my brother went absolutely mad and beat the guy up. i don't think it's right of my brother for doing that, but his reasoning was.. "i'd do the same to any guy who hit a girl.."


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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 04:38 PM

Personally I would say it's because men are seen to be and are usually physically stronger than a woman so it's like picking on someone more vulnerable and weaker than you perhaps?




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Re: Guys Hitting Girls - May 8th 2009, 05:39 PM

I've never understood the people who call the people who say 'women are generally weaker than men' sexist. It's true. Men are built stronger than women, men are supposed to defend, and protect. At least, biologically speaking. It's not sexist, its scientific. However, this does not give them cause to use their strength.


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