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All is fair in love and war... - January 16th 2009, 10:07 AM

Everyone has heard the old saying "All is fair in love and war" at one point or another... Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I am currently pursuing a young woman who has been in a relationship with another for nearly a year. I have never met him, and from what I hear of him from mutual friends... He is a good guy. Nonetheless he currently has what I desire.
In all ways we are a amazing match, we have more common interests and chemistry then anyone could ever hope to find in another.
Our Religious, political, and environmental views are nearly parallel.
She is the only woman to ever leave me feeling "complete" (meaning she fulfills every need that I have emotionally, no one else has really ever come close.)

Last night she told me that she is falling in love with me.
She called her boyfriend and talked to him about her feelings and that she "feels numb" around him and that she does not love him.
She wants to give him a couple more weeks to see if anything changes between them, but considering that she "Cut emotional ties with him" when she told him that they were on a break (a sure sign that the relationship is going down hill) I seriously doubt anything will ever be close to what it was between them and it is a matter of time.

I want opinions on what I am doing, and debate whether or not all truly is fair in love and war...


"In war, the way is to avoid what is strong and to strike at what is weak."
The above is true in fighting for love, is it not?
   
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Re: All is fair in love and war... - January 16th 2009, 10:18 AM

I partly agree with the statement, as in it isnt infinately true, yet at the same time, in say your situation, I think it's fair enough, so long as you wait till they've broken up to do anything. Sometimes you will meet someone who is perfect for you, and you for them, and you will fall in love, even if when of you are in a relationship. For that relationship to end, isn't immoral, because if it's not as fufilling or at the level of this other potential relationship, you'll know you want be as happy as you can be. Sometimes you are dating someone for the hell of it, or you thought you liked them, but you dont really anymore, or you like them, but you aren't in love.

So long as you don't play dirty (e.g. make lies up about their partner, encourage them to cheat, go out of your way to make their partner look bad, etc), I dont see the problem with it, at the end of the day, it's this person's decision on what will make them happy.

Admittedly I have never openly pursued any of the people I've had crushes on who were taken. But they all seemed happy in their relationships.
   
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Re: All is fair in love and war... - January 16th 2009, 02:41 PM

I don't think that you can help who you fall in love with. With your situation, I think that things just weren't meant to be between her and her boyfriend, so things are slowly ending now.

I don't think that all is fair in love and war though. There are some things you just shouldn't do. Just because you are in war for something or you love someone, that doesn't mean that you should throw your morals to the wind and do something ridiculous for love or war.


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"because we always carried a piece of each other around."
   
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