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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - December 25th 2009, 02:57 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

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A FATHER is accused of forcing his 14-year-old son to have sex with a prostitute because he feared he was gay.
In December 2007, the father from Rockhampton, Queensland, father allegedly arranged to meet a prostitute at a local motel.
It is alleged the father then drove his son to the motel and told him he was not allowed to leave until he had sex with the prostitute.
The boy's mother this week gave evidence in the committal hearing in the Rockhampton Magistrates Court which found there was sufficient evidence for the father to stand trial for the rape of his son.
The father was charged after he called police earlier this year to make a complaint about the 14-year-old allegedly abusing his younger brother.
It is alleged during this conversation, the father made admissions about the incident with the prostitute.

The father will appear before the Rockhampton District Court at a future date.





Last edited by eunoia; January 12th 2010 at 06:10 AM. Reason: Adding prefix.
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - December 25th 2009, 08:14 AM

Overall, sounds like a pretty screwed up family...



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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - December 30th 2009, 07:16 PM

OMG
That is ridiculous.




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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - December 30th 2009, 07:21 PM

Wow. just wow.

there are some seriously messed up people in this world. surely the prostitute is at fault here, also.. ?


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - December 30th 2009, 10:45 PM

I don't know what to say.. If I knew that guy, I'd probably beat him up! How and why could/would you do that to YOUR SON!



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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 05:29 PM

What a disgusting dad. No, he's not even a dad. To me, he's not a person.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 06:04 PM

Hooray homophobia! And yes, the prostitute is partly responsible for this too, but to a much lesser degree than the father.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 06:41 PM

Am I the only person who doesn't think it's that bad? I mean, compared to an awful lot of parents he's not actually that bad, at the end if the day it was sex, once. It's not as bad as rape, or beating, or even throwing there kids out on the streets. I mean compared to this it's pretty much nothing =/ But that's just my opinion
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 06:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
Am I the only person who doesn't think it's that bad? I mean, compared to an awful lot of parents he's not actually that bad, at the end if the day it was sex, once. It's not as bad as rape, or beating, or even throwing there kids out on the streets. I mean compared to this it's pretty much nothing =/ But that's just my opinion
Out of curiosity, would you say the same if it were a 14-year old daughter and some sleazy guy, rather than a son and a prostitute? "Sex, once" can still be incredibly traumatizing.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 07:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xujhan View Post
Out of curiosity, would you say the same if it were a 14-year old daughter and some sleazy guy, rather than a son and a prostitute? "Sex, once" can still be incredibly traumatizing.
Yes, because females aren't as strong as males, physically or mentally. And a 14 year old female would be a lot less able to protect her self against a man, as opposed to the opposite, and with the female it would most likely be rape. This case doesn't actually seem to be rape, in the end he didn't have to do it if he really didn't want to.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 07:04 PM

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Originally Posted by Xujhan View Post
Out of curiosity, would you say the same if it were a 14-year old daughter and some sleazy guy, rather than a son and a prostitute? "Sex, once" can still be incredibly traumatizing.
^ This ....
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 07:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
Am I the only person who doesn't think it's that bad? I mean, compared to an awful lot of parents he's not actually that bad, at the end if the day it was sex, once. It's not as bad as rape, or beating, or even throwing there kids out on the streets. I mean compared to this it's pretty much nothing =/ But that's just my opinion
isn't rape essentially what this is?..


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 07:09 PM

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Originally Posted by Elle. View Post


isn't rape essentially what this is?..
Was it against his will? He didn't exactly rape is son, nor did the prostitute, he HAD the choice whether he was going to have sex with it, there were just consequences if he didn't. In the end it was his choice.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 07:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
Was it against his will? He didn't exactly rape is son, nor did the prostitute, he HAD the choice whether he was going to have sex with it, there were just consequences if he didn't. In the end it was his choice.
Quote:
It is alleged the father then drove his son to the motel and told him he was not allowed to leave until he had sex with the prostitute.
if the allegations are true then no, the kid didn't really have a choice..


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 07:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle. View Post




if the allegations are true then no, the kid didn't really have a choice..
He called of called the management, police, there where other options.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 07:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
He called of called the management, police, there where other options.
i think you're missing the point. he's a kid.. his father took him to a motel and told him he could not leave until he had sex with this prostitute. this kid was clearly pressured into it and was going to have to have sex with this prostitute whether he wanted to or not.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 07:26 PM

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i think you're missing the point. he's a kid.. his father took him to a motel and told him he could not leave until he had sex with this prostitute. this kid was clearly pressured into it and was going to have to have sex with this prostitute whether he wanted to or not.
And my point was that this really isn't that bad compared to most parents that make it into the news for bad parenting.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 08:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
And my point was that this really isn't that bad compared to most parents that make it into the news for bad parenting.
His father forced him to have sex without his will - incredibly emotionally damaging stuff.

Regardless, "it's okay because it's not as bad as what sometimes happeneds".... literally I'm speechless.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 08:58 PM

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His father forced him to have sex without his will - incredibly emotionally damaging stuff.

Regardless, "it's okay because it's not as bad as what sometimes happeneds".... literally I'm speechless.
Speechless about what? Sorry, but some things aren't as bad as others, people are treating this exactly the same as they'd probably treat a news reports about a little girl who'd been repeatedly raped. And these definitely are not on the same level. And as I said, it's only my opinion.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 09:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
Speechless about what? Sorry, but some things aren't as bad as others, people are treating this exactly the same as they'd probably treat a news reports about a little girl who'd been repeatedly raped. And these definitely are not on the same level. And as I said, it's only my opinion.
Yup, and it's your opinion that leaves me speechless.

I don't think it's a good idea for me to reply. I'll let somebody else.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 09:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897
Speechless about what? Sorry, but some things aren't as bad as others, people are treating this exactly the same as they'd probably treat a news reports about a little girl who'd been repeatedly raped. And these definitely are not on the same level. And as I said, it's only my opinion.



to a certain extent I do see his point. Since the father didn't come into the room and stand over the boy forcing him to have sex the boy did have other options. There had to be phones in the room so he could have called.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 09:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.1415926535897 View Post
Speechless about what? Sorry, but some things aren't as bad as others, people are treating this exactly the same as they'd probably treat a news reports about a little girl who'd been repeatedly raped. And these definitely are not on the same level. And as I said, it's only my opinion.
so because there are worse things that parents could have done it makes this ok?

that's like saying "9/11 isn't that bad.. because the holocaust is like sooo much worse!"


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 09:42 PM

Okay, I'm a bit confused here. The boy is fourteen now, this happened in 2007...so the boy was twelve? Which makes this illegal on so many levels, and wrong.

The boy was twelve. If his dad told him he had to, he may not have seen another option.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 09:43 PM

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so because there are worse things that parents could have done it makes this ok?

that's like saying "9/11 isn't that bad.. because the holocaust is like sooo much worse!"
In comparison you could say that yes, '9/11 wasn't that bad compared to the holocaust' would be better working though. And it's still an opinion.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 09:44 PM

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Okay, I'm a bit confused here. The boy is fourteen now, this happened in 2007...so the boy was twelve? Which makes this illegal on so many levels, and wrong.

The boy was twelve. If his dad told him he had to, he may not have seen another option.
legally speaking - what's the difference between 12 and 14 anyway?.. not much, surely.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 09:48 PM

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legally speaking - what's the difference between 12 and 14 anyway?.. not much, surely.
The age really doesn't matter, the example would of been exactly the same if I has said 14, so this is a stupid thing to be anal about.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 10:05 PM

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The age really doesn't matter, the example would of been exactly the same if I has said 14, so this is a stupid thing to be anal about.
urr.. did you even read my post?

that's exactly the point i was making - 12 or 14.. theres no difference.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 10:07 PM

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urr.. did you even read my post?

that's exactly the point i was making - 12 or 14.. theres no difference.
But that's a useless point to bring up? =/
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 10:10 PM

Quote:
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But that's a useless point to bring up? =/
i didn't bring it up.. i just pointed out that it makes no difference. what is your point?


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 10:14 PM

Surely the prostitute would be considered a paedophile or something for having sex with someone that young?!



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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 10:21 PM

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Surely the prostitute would be considered a paedophile or something for having sex with someone that young?!
yes - i agree. she shouldn't be prostituting anyway - let alone having sex with a 14 year old.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 10:35 PM

Quote:
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urr.. did you even read my post?

that's exactly the point i was making - 12 or 14.. theres no difference.
Well legally speaking, in England and Wales at least, there IS a slight difference. No clue about America though.

I would also find it slightly worse if it had been a 12 year old rather than 14. 14 year olds are more physically developped and will know a bit about sex unlike 12 year olds who will not know much and would ve even more confused and upset about the incident (not to say the 14 year old wouldn't be confused and upset). Although, most of the discrepancy between my views of the two ages is mainly emotional so I shan't pretend it's completely logical.

How can you even suspect your child is gay at 12 anyway? If true, the father is such a moron.
While this is a terrible thing to happen to anyone I can't quite summon the depth of anger that some people display about a kid I've never met, being forced to have sex by a man I don't know in a town I've never heard of in a country I've never been to and concerning a crime I can do nothing about.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 11:46 PM

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While this is a terrible thing to happen to anyone I can't quite summon the depth of anger that some people display about a kid I've never met, being forced to have sex by a man I don't know in a town I've never heard of in a country I've never been to and concerning a crime I can do nothing about.
Any frustration on my part has been more about the bigot views expressed in the thread.
   
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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 1st 2010, 11:52 PM

Hi Everyone!!

I hope you're having a dandy day.

A sad story indeed. It will be very difficult - I think - to find out what REALLY happened. But here's MY take on it. [And based only on the very little information we have been given]

The more I think about this story - and try to imagine what happened - the more sympathy I have for the father. Now don't read that wrong. That doesn't mean I now have less sympathy for the son. OR that I now feel equally sympathetic of both father and son. But you can sympathize with someone who does something wrong - and still believe that what they did was wrong. [Just so you know!]

I think it's very likely that the father was a witness to some form of same-sex sexual abuse when he was a boy. And/or perhaps even a victim of abuse. And/or perhaps he heard 'stories' about what happened to some 'gay guy' - and that terrified him all of his life - causing him to suppress even the most natural of curiosities. [And that happens a lot] And out of LOVE for his son - he did the only thing HE thought might 'save' his son from becoming gay and therefore being harmed in some way. Keep in mind - he already believed that his son was/is heading in that direction. A lot of people believe - even to this day - that 10 minutes with a vagina will turn any gay guy straight.

Did that boy REALLY abuse [In a sexual way] his younger brother? I think it's quite likely - that he did not. It's very possible that 'dad' [Because he IS so hyper-sensitive to anything 'gay'] misinterpreted what was going on between his two sons. Perhaps they were wrestling or something. Who knows. All it had to be was some form of aggressive physical contact between his two sons and that would be enough to push dad's buttons.

All it takes to lead anyone of us down the wrong path is that one domino. And very often it is our FEAR that pushes over the first one. And before you know it - you're saying things and/or doing things that you shouldn't be saying or doing. Fear is powerful. And it is often very blinding.

And you hear that fear in some of the responses to this message thread. And that's the fear that says, "THAT would never happen to ME!" It's very scary to accept that even WE could be a victim. And out of that fear some of us try to convince ourselves that the victim was - in some ways - to blame. "Why didn't they just do this or that......?" It's important to keep in mind that there is a BIG difference between sitting in front of our computer - all cozy and comfy - AND being ordered by your father to do something - let alone to get out of his car and walk into a motel room to have sex with someone you have never met before.

Interestingly enough - this reminds me of a movie. A 'short' starting the dark haired sister on 'Rosanne'. Do you remember her? In fact - it's almost exactly the same. In the movie - the 'prostitute' catches on to the fact that the son who was just dropped of by HIS dad - was gay. So they just TALKED for an hour. And when the hour was up - the 'prostitute' told the 'dad' that his son was GREAT!!

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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 2nd 2010, 12:54 AM

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that's exactly the point i was making - 12 or 14.. theres no difference.
But there is a difference, at least in the States. And my point is, at the age of 12 you have no idea who you are, what you are, or whether you are gay or straight. You usually don't figure out your sexuality until you are around 17. So I don't get how he figured his kid was gay, but I guess that's another one of those things we just won't know.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 2nd 2010, 02:47 PM

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legally speaking - what's the difference between 12 and 14 anyway?.. not much, surely.
In legal terms - in the UK anyway - if the boy was 12 at the time, even if the other person was under 16, it's classed as rape. Where as if the boy was over 12, but the other person was under 16 - say if he was 1f and the other person was 15 - it wouldn't be classed as rape unless the boy hadn't given his permission. I'm not sure if it'd be counted as rape if the other person was over 16 and the boy had given permission though =S


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 2nd 2010, 03:55 PM

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In legal terms - in the UK anyway - if the boy was 12 at the time, even if the other person was under 16, it's classed as rape. Where as if the boy was over 12, but the other person was under 16 - say if he was 1f and the other person was 15 - it wouldn't be classed as rape unless the boy hadn't given his permission. I'm not sure if it'd be counted as rape if the other person was over 16 and the boy had given permission though =S
i'm assuming the prostitute is over 16.. hmm, i'm not sure of the law though. well, whatever the law is.. i would hope that it wouldn't be ok for a prostitute to have sex with a 14 year old against his will effectively. she shouldn't be prostituting anyway, so double fail on her behalf.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 12th 2010, 04:30 AM

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Am I the only person who doesn't think it's that bad? I mean, compared to an awful lot of parents he's not actually that bad, at the end if the day it was sex, once. It's not as bad as rape, or beating, or even throwing there kids out on the streets. I mean compared to this it's pretty much nothing =/ But that's just my opinion
Now, you are assuming that this boy was not being beaten by his father, or that his father wouldn't have thrown him on the street. And you are forgetting something very important. No matter how old a child is they trust their parent wholeheartedly and they listen to their parents and they get scared of disappointing there parents and this can lead to them not protecting themselves or silently going along with what mom or dad wants but that does not mean it is not bad.

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Speechless about what? Sorry, but some things aren't as bad as others, people are treating this exactly the same as they'd probably treat a news reports about a little girl who'd been repeatedly raped. And these definitely are not on the same level. And as I said, it's only my opinion.
Rape is rape is rape. If someone is raped once it is no less traumatizing then someone who is raped repeatedly. And, the only reason I can say this without any doubt is because I was raped repeatedly when I was a little girl and I did not deal with it well at all. I have met some people who were only raped once and they dealt with it the same way I did. Emotionally rape is the same in every way shape and form.

The only difference is how the law chooses to convict a person. I think if someone rapes someone repeated they should get sentenced for each rape that occurred just like if someone rapes someone once they should only get sentenced for that one rape. But, I still think emotionally the consequences of rape are quite similar.


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Was it against his will? He didn't exactly rape is son, nor did the prostitute, he HAD the choice whether he was going to have sex with it, there were just consequences if he didn't. In the end it was his choice.

Do any of us really know what the consequences would have been? No, so who's to say the boy wasn't scared beyond belief of not listening to his dad?

And, I don't think he had a choice at all his dad forced him to do it and there is no way to get around it.

The thing that is really interesting to me is the fact that it says the father got worried because his son was doing things to his brother. You know a lot of kids who experience traumatic things like rape end up emulating it on younger people. 1) Because they are curious about it 2) because they want to feel power over something/someone since they lost their power.

I think that rape is rape and until society gets that through their heads cases like these are going to go unpunished or they are not going to have the right amount of punishment.


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 12th 2010, 05:22 AM

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Yes, because females aren't as strong as males, physically or mentally. And a 14 year old female would be a lot less able to protect her self against a man, as opposed to the opposite, and with the female it would most likely be rape. This case doesn't actually seem to be rape, in the end he didn't have to do it if he really didn't want to.

I personally think, on an emotional level, women are much stronger than men. Men take trauma hard.
When women are abused, a string of events just seem to occur and they are ashamed and hurt, and people asking questions and pointing fingers isn't really going to help.
You've never heard much of men being abused as much as women, so you can't really come to such a conclusion can you?
If you think about it, men die earlier than women, that's because if the woman dies first, the guy can't take it emotionally as well as woman would.

As for what happened, it's just ridiculous! It's real crap that a father can do that to his son just to make sure he isn't gay!


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Re: Boy, 14, 'forced to have sex' by dad - January 12th 2010, 05:41 AM

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Was it against his will? He didn't exactly rape is son, nor did the prostitute, he HAD the choice whether he was going to have sex with it, there were just consequences if he didn't. In the end it was his choice.
Excuse me?

That is rediculous. On an emotional level, having "consequences" for not having sex is the same as being physically forced. Coercing someone into a sexual activity that they do not want to do is sexual assault, plain and simple.

If it was a little girl in this situation, would you hold the same opinion? What if she wasn't physically forced, either? I think it is terrible that some wouldn't consider this rape simply because the victim is a male.


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