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Religion and Spirituality, Science and Philosophy Use this forum to discuss what you believe in. This is a place where everyone may share their views freely.

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Question Whats going to happen? - March 27th 2014, 02:50 PM

I now that i am atheist. My ma is Christian. I am 14. How do i tell her?
   
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Re: Whats going to happen? - March 27th 2014, 07:16 PM

Hey,

If you want to tell her, you simply need to tell her that you no longer believe in it. You can point out that you remain open-minded (at least I hope you will be!), but that you feel that you can't believe in it for whatever reasons you have. It's easiest just to be clear about it.

Don't feel that you absolutely have to make your feelings known if you don't want to, though - although it's good to be open if you can be.

Good luck!


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Re: Whats going to happen? - March 27th 2014, 08:20 PM

Hey Jamie,

I think it's a great thing that you know for sure what you believe in. I had a hard time deciphering my beliefs when I was around your age, so I know how difficult it can be. When you're raised into certain beliefs I think it takes a lot of courage to turn away from them. Your mom might not agree with your decision but what really matters is that you had the strength to make it, which means you know how to think for yourself and choose to do what feels right to you no matter what other people might say. That's something you should be really proud of, regardless of whether or not you have your mom's approval.

I don't think you should feel forced into telling your mom right away. Obviously it's something she's going to have to know eventually but if you don't feel ready to tell her right now then you shouldn't have to. It's perfectly reasonable to wait until you feel more comfortable discussing it with her. If your change in beliefs is a recent thing it might take you awhile to adapt to them yourself. When you're used to one belief system it can take awhile for you to completely commit yourself to a different one. It might be a good idea to make sure you're 100% comfortable and sure of your beliefs before you bring them up to your mom.

When you do decide to tell her though all you can do is hope that she'll at least try to be understanding. It's hard to say how she'll react because it depends on what kind of person she is and how committed she is to her beliefs. She could be angry or she could just be sad or disappointed. There's really no way to determine what kind of reaction she'll have. But hopefully she'll attempt to understand where you're coming from and why you believe what you do. Even if her reaction isn't a pleasant one try to remember that it's probably just because she cares so much about you. People behave in all kinds of different ways when they're worried or concerned about someone, and if she does react with anger it doesn't necessarily mean that she's angry with you or that she sees you differently. Anger could just be the way that she shows her concern.

I know this must be a difficult thing to deal with but I'm sure that your mom will end up accepting you for who you are, regardless of what her initial reaction may be. She's still your mom and I think it's pretty much impossible to cause a mother to care less for her children. It might take awhile for her to really understand but I'm sure that she will eventually.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do Feel free to message me if you ever need to talk. Take care!


   
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Re: Whats going to happen? - March 29th 2014, 02:15 AM

IF there is any chance of a bad reaction (ie. getting kicked out of the house), I'd advise against telling your parents.
   
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Re: Whats going to happen? - April 1st 2014, 04:26 AM

Hey there,

As stated, if there is any chance that you are going to get a bad reaction I don't think you should tell. It might be best to keep this to yourself until you are better able to take care of yourself. Right now you are dependent upon your mom for shelter and other things. When you are more independent you can work on figuring out how to tell her about this.

If you don't think you will receive a bad response then I suggest you sit down with your mom and explain to her that you are an atheist. Explain to her your reasoning behind this decision and be open to answering any other questions that she may have for you.

I hope this helped and I am wishing you the best of luck.


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Re: Whats going to happen? - April 5th 2014, 05:22 AM

Depends on how devout your mother is to her religion. If she's a martyr for it, I'd advise against telling her, if she just goes to church and prays and stuff, but doesn't really make anybody else do it, then you would have a better chance of there not being a negative response.
   
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Re: Whats going to happen? - April 5th 2014, 08:40 PM

If shes an orthodox christian or something like that im not sure its a good idea. If she has nothing against transexuality, gay people and other things those religion extremists are so against of, she will be just fine of you being an atheist. I mean my parents are believers yet I just said while passing by that i dont believe in their god etc and they said ok.
If your parents are like mine (open minded) just say you decided.
But are you sure you KNOW youre an athiest with 14 years old? I mean you can always switch back but thats a relatively big thing (switching religions, or in yiur case leaving them alltogether)...

Good luck tho, whatever you decide
   
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Re: Whats going to happen? - April 6th 2014, 06:23 PM

I've been reading over some of your recent threads and I'm starting to feel a little confused. You've said in the last few days that you are struggling with coming out as gay, transgender, pregnant, bereaved, addicted to painkillers, and homeless. Obviously issues like these are a lot to deal with even when they happen just one at a time for any young person, let alone all at once, like they appear to be happening to you. But if I were you at this time I would not be causing any more trouble for myself than needed. You need to think of your baby, let alone the multiple other issues you've asked us for support with in the last two weeks. So honestly, if I were you, I would keep my mouth shut with this one for the time being and make things as easy for myself as possible.


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Re: Whats going to happen? - April 6th 2014, 08:14 PM

It's hard to say without knowing what your mother and living situation is like. If she may react badly, then you're not obligated to tell her. Just do what you feel most comfortable and safer doing, it's not worth it being kicked out or hurt, or simply talking about something you're not ready to discuss. If you do want to go ahead then I think there are many ways, you could just mention it or sit her down and calmly tell her, even write her a note. It really depends on how much she's going to care and how you think she'll react.


   
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