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Religion and Spirituality, Science and Philosophy Use this forum to discuss what you believe in. This is a place where everyone may share their views freely.

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Coming out of the atheist closet? - September 13th 2014, 08:04 PM

I'm 16, and my parents don't know I'm an atheist. My mom wants me to get baptized but honestly I just don't believe in god. She is very religious. I don't impose on others that believing in god is bad but I just don't believe. What would be a good way to tell my parents that I'm an atheist without being disowned or something like that? Thanks

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Re: Coming out of the atheist closet? - September 13th 2014, 10:19 PM

Hi there,

It seems like you are in a hard spot right now. I would like sit them down on a day they are in a pretty good mood and tell them that you are atheist.. Explaining to them why you are and explain that you don't want to be part of something you don't want to be believe in. If you don't want to be so up front with it you can try writing them a note? Or you can get someone you trust (sibling, friend,etc.) Tell them for you and you can explain later.

Just be up front with it. I don't think there is a way were you can say it and have them react. And use a good tone in your voice.. Is the best way to ease it down a little.. They may be shocked or something.. I have no clue on how your parents will react to this.. It depends on how they are as person!

I hope I helped a little! Feel free to PM/VM me anytime!
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Re: Coming out of the atheist closet? - September 13th 2014, 10:40 PM

Don't tell them unless you're sure you can deal with all of the possible consequences. It's just a baptism. It's not a big deal. I mean, what if you get kicked out of the house? What if they refuse to help with college/post-secondary education?

If your parents are really religious, it's probably a terrible idea to tell them at the age of 16.
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Re: Coming out of the atheist closet? - September 14th 2014, 01:07 AM

Hey there,

I agree with Michael, I wouldn't tell them unless you can deal with the consequences. It is possible that they could kick you out of the house for having the beliefs that you do and that would leave you with no where to go. The best thing to do is to keep things to yourself until you are more financially independent. I know this can be hard and it will mean compromising your beliefs to some extent but it is a lot better then getting kicked out of the house. You need a roof and food to sustain yourself.

You will only have a couple more years before you can go away for college and hopefully by then you will be able to work out a way to become more financially independent. Such as getting a job and providing your own shelter and food source. Maybe you could start looking at job opportunities in your area now so that you could start saving up money for when you do go away to college. If you are going to have to rely on your parents to pay for your college you might have to wait longer to come out to them about this but you will have more religious freedom once you hit college and you will be able to meet people who share in the same beliefs as you.

I hope that this helped in some way and if you need anything feel free to message me.

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Re: Coming out of the atheist closet? - September 14th 2014, 04:23 AM

You tell them straight up that you don't agree with religious dogma and that if they were true parents they'd respect your choice. Respect their religion but don't believe in it.

If they handle it well, good for you. If they don't, their problem.

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Re: Coming out of the atheist closet? - September 14th 2014, 04:39 AM

I wouldn't tell them either until you're moved out and can deal with the consequences. My parents are atheists like me, so it was never a problem, but for other political ideologies, I kept my disagreements to myself...actually, I still do. I really don't talk to them about it. If you find atheism so intertwined with your identity that you need to tell them, that is your own choice, but unlike other things, it's typically not something NECESSARY. I'd recommend just continuing finding ways to get out of the baptism, and just wait it out.

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Re: Coming out of the atheist closet? - September 14th 2014, 05:11 AM

Thanks for all the help guys. I really needed it.
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atheist, closet, coming

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